Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Eggs Benedict!

Good morning everyone!

Into the home stretch we go.

Just this Sunday Gravy episode today followed by the season finale next week and my ass is off on sweet, sweet vacation.

Really! Like actual “vacation” vacation in addition to being on vacation from Sunday Gravy.

So much free time. What’s a girl to do?

Speaking of vacation, when I’m on vacation and this dish we’re featuring here today is available? I’m ordering that fucker.

Period.

I fucking love eggs benedict.

Unapologetically and without question. I’ve also been making it for close to 40 years. 

No shit. The former now dear departed missus right was a big fan and I used to prepare this on her birthday and again on mother’s day. 

Back then it was a COLOSSAL pain in the ass to make. In fact I used to get the assistance of both of my daughters to help in the process. Eldest right poached the eggs while youngest right toasted the English muffins. While the entire time I was stirring the hollandaise in a double boiler trying desperately to keep it from turning into scrambled fucking eggs. 

I say “Used to” because I stumbled across a fucking gem of a recipe

A flat out fucking game changer in the hollandaise game and I’m going to share that shit with you because that’s the kind of helpful motherfucker I am. 

You’re welcome.

No shit, this is mind boggling how fucking easy it is. 

Your ass is going to be making this imminently and repeatedly after reading this. 

We begin.

It all starts with the hollandaise. This following recipe is from Downshiftology.com. The cooks name is Lisa and she is my new hero, I shit you not.

This recipe is called “Easy and no-fail Hollandaise” and I am yeah right and I am here to share its praise.

From the goddamn mountain top if you like.

Check this shit out.

“3 egg yolks

1 tablespoon lemon juice , or more as desired for flavor

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1/4 teaspoon salt

pinch of cayenne pepper

1/2 cup unsalted butter or ghee, or more for a thinner consistency, melted and hot.

Instructions!

Melt the butter in a microwave (make sure it’s covered as it will splatter) for about 1 minute, until it’s hot. Alternatively, you could heat it on the stove.

Add the egg yolks, lemon juice, dijon, salt and cayenne pepper into a high powered blender and blend for 5 seconds until combined.

With the blender running on medium high, slowly stream in the hot butter into the mixture until it’s emulsified.

Pour the hollandaise sauce into a small bowl and serve while warm.”

People? I followed the recipe exactly. I melted the butter in a small saucepan on the stove and used my immersion blender.

FUCKING EPIC!

As good as you could ask for. Fuck original techniques when you can make this pain-in-the-fucking-ass sauce this easily.

The trick, I believe, is the immersion blender. Some of your standard blender bowls require more liquid in order to build a proper emulsion but with the immersion blender you just stick that business end right in the cup and mix the shit out of it.

Well since we’ve found such an easy recipe for hollandaise how are we going to make this more of a challenge?

Yes, I’m a fucking idiot like that. 

I know!

Homemade English muffins! That’s the ticket!

Of course we have made these before so once again I get to plagiarize my own recipes.

“2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon instant yeast – that’s one of those little packets

1/4 teaspoon salt

2/3 cups whole milk

1/2 cups water

1 tablespoon butter

I adapted the recipe a bit by proofing the yeast in the 1/2 cup of water. Water heated to 110 degrees and I also added a small drop of honey to feed the yeastie beasts.

Mix together the flour and salt in a big bowl.

Put the milk in a microwavable container and warm it up a bit. What I did was heat it for 30 seconds, then add in the tablespoon of butter and warm for another 30 seconds. Just long enough to take the chill off of the milk and melt the butter.

Add the proofed yeast in its water to the milk mixture then add everything to the flour mixture.

Then make a dough ball.”

As before we are going to build a sponge for the muffins and let it ferment overnight.

Now this motherfucker is sticky so you will definitely need a floured workspace.

Get that sponge on there and flour it up.

Cut out the muffins and let it go for a final rise for about 45 minutes give or take.

After proofing, get out your cast iron, heat it up and give those muffins about 3-4 minutes per side.

And there you go.

Muffins!

You may want to make a batch of your favorite breakfast potatoes to go as a side.

Hash browns work just fine over here.

Hell, that almost looks like a rosti.

Anyway let’s get going on the hollandaise. Juice up half a lemon depending on how lemony you like your sauce.

Wow. That is just a fucking DYNAMIC photo there. Jesus Christ. There are times I may go overboard with the photojournalism.

I’ll try and do better in the future.

Add the lemon juice to the egg yolks, dijon, salt and cayenne.

Give it a spin with your trusty immersion blender.

Melt a stick of butter and SLOWLY drizzle in to the yolk mix while the blender is running. Try doing this by yourself AND attempting to take a picture. Good luck with that.

Giving us our freshly made hollandaise sauce in a handy dispense worthy container!

You know how the rest of this shit works.

Poach your ass a couple eggs.

Slice up one of them muffins over there.

Get your Canadian bacon on.

I think we’re going to need a little Barry White for this next part.

Get sexy with it!

Wait! THAT’S not sexy enough for you?

Alrighty then.

Here you go.

You’re welcome.

And sorry about your undies.

Or here’s a more traditional take.

If you’re going to take the time to make homemade English muffins, might as well enjoy them in every possible way.

Maybe toast one with a little strawberry jam.

 I didn’t even know we had any jam in the house. This shit is so damn nostalgic it’ll bring a tear to your rheumy old eyeballs.

This dish was perfect. Fuck that it was better than perfect. Does your favorite breakfast place make their own English muffins and make their own hollandaise from scratch?

I think not and if they do, give me a name and I’ll make an attempt to give them a visit.

That sauce was so damn rich, creamy and dare I say elegant? Of course I used all of it and even slobbered some down by the spoonful when nobody was looking. I try to keep it classy up in this bitch.

Once again another perfect breakfast at dinnertime meal. I love doing that shit.

Make this sauce folks. Trust me. Use it any way you see fit but just make that damn sauce.

It’s spectacular.

And there we go. Another episode in the can and another season end approaching.

I honestly have no idea how long I can keep doing the Sunday Gravy thing. I mean ten fucking years, dude! 

Then again, I don’t see any reason not to keep going either. I dig it and I appreciate you good folks who follow along. Makes it all worthwhile.

Enjoy your Sunday and the very last preseason games today.

I’ll see you next week for Labor Day Weekend and the Season Ten Season Finale. It’s a fun one too.

Be well everyone.

PEACE!