Request Line: Let Me Sing You the Song of My People…

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Guest producer HUNTER RENFROW is seated in front of the soundboard…

…having a conversation with DJ 3000, who is perched in his regular spot… 

…as the two talk about the conclusion of the Pan-African War in the current DJ 3000’s original timeline.

DJ 3000: …AND THEN MOZAMBIQUE SIGNED THE TREATY, AND IT’S BEEN PRETTY TRANQUIL SINCE THEN.

HUNTER RENFROW: Fascinating!  I always thought that Mozambique sounded like a cool place – is Paradise Island, like, as nice as it sounds?

DJ 3000: THE TRUTH IS, THE WHOLE “PARADISE ISLAND” THING IS ONLY A NAME.

HUNTER RENFROW: Oh really?

DJ 3000: YEAH, IT’S ACTUALLY A PENINSULA.

HUNTER RENFROW: [chuckles] Look at DJ 3000 with the jokes!  I take it you have The Simpsons in your universe?

DJ 3000: WE DO. I DOWNLOADED THE SERIES HERE AND THERE ARE ACTUALLY VERY FEW DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO.  EXCEPT THAT WHERE I’M FROM THEY WRAPPED UP THE SERIES AFTER FIFTEEN SEASONS.

HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah, from what I’ve seen of the new stuff that was the smart move.  Mr. Baumgartner refuses to even acknowledge that it’s even still on the air here.

DJ 3000: SPEAKING OF A/V CLUB STUFF…IT’S BEEN REALLY GREAT OF YOU TO FILL IN.  I’VE SPOKEN TO THE STATION MANAGEMENT AND THEY AGREED TO WRITE IT UP AS A FORMAL INTERNSHIP.

HUNTER RENFROW: [excited] Really? So I can get out of having to take an elective?

DJ 3000: THAT’S RIGHT, MY FRIEND.  ONE FREE PERIOD, COMING UP!

HUNTER RENFROW: I can’t believe how well this worked out.  When I first came in I had this whole idea about how I was going to do a series of “Hunter’s Realms” posts about alternate universes and all the topics would be associated with that, but in the end I really enjoyed just chilling here with you.

DJ 3000: YEAH, IT’S BEEN NICE.

HUNTER RENFROW: So whatever happened to the PRODUCER? I thought there would also be some kind of story arc about how he got stuck in Phoenix somehow and couldn’t get back here to California.

DJ 3000: BEATS ME.  I HAVEN’T HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE…OH.

HUNTER RENFROW: What?

DJ 3000: I JUST REALIZED THAT IF HE WAS REACHING OUT, HE WAS PROBABLY SENDING THINGS TO THE ORIGINAL DJ 3000’S EMAIL ADDRESS.  MINE IS A BIT DIFFERENT.  LET ME SEE IF I CAN LOG IN TO HIS ACCOUNT; MAYBE WE HAVE THE SAME PASSWORDS…

The lights on DJ 3000’s console begin flashing as he downloads a large amount of data and begins parsing the text.

DJ 3000: [to itself] OH.  OH MY.  YES, THAT’S QUITE A PICKLE.

HUNTER RENFROW: [out of the loop] What, what happened?

DJ 3000: I’LL TELL YOU IN A MINUTE.  BUT FIRST, WE’VE GOT TO GET THIS SHOW ROLLING.  HAVE YOU GOT A TOPIC FOR US TO CLOSE OUT THE SEASON WITH?

HUNTER RENFROW: I sure do!  I thought we could do “songs”.

DJ 3000’s “Gruden Module” light comes on.

DJ 3000: THIS TOPIC I CALL IT A FEMALE DWARF WORKING FOR DABNEY COLEMAN’S CHARACTER IN NINE TO FIVE BECAUSE IT IS A LITTLE BROAD.

HUNTER RENFROW: No, no, I meant songs that specifically declare themselves as such.  Like “The Rain Song” or “Ballad of  Thin Man”, that kind of stuff.

DJ 3000: SOUNDS GOOD, LET’S DO IT. WANT ME TO CUE UP ONE OF THE ONES YOU MENTIONED, OR HAVE YOU GOT SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND TO GET US STARTED?

HUNTER RENFROW: It’s almost football season, so let’s go with something that will make folks want to run through a brick wall.  Cue up a little Blur, please.

Today’s theme is “Songs”.  We’re looking for songs that specifically declare themselves as such (or “Ballads”, or “Odes”, etc.) in the title.  Please links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?kUnDuZ and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Sweet Jane” by The Velvet Underground and the Cowboy Junkies was solved by BeefReeferLives. Thank you to everyone who contributed to yet another fabulous season of Request Line, and may all the fantasy stat corrections this season be in your favor. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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ArmedandHammered

Just heard a great line from Cinematic Titanic – “She’s hornier than an early Chicago album.”

SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

Can’t remember what Horatio’s draft was but my first pick was, “When Chicago ditched their brass section”. Slow intro here and then Kath and the Gang just bust things wide open.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd95Qz7JSrY

Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives

Whelp, that’s it for me. A good stumper of a puzzle this week, RTD & thanks for a great off-season of Request Line fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWmHFLLwJHI

SonOfSpam

Geez, I don’t wanna drive to LA.

ArmedandHammered

Does anyone?

SonOfSpam

Deleted, because stupid

Last edited 2 months ago by SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Maybe, but this must be the puzzle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9sIu1d1i28

ArmedandHammered

I think I just smoked some Labrador, because it tasted like shit but I am so, so high.

SonOfSpam

(knows nothing about weed strains)

Would Great Dane make you feel bigger and dumber?

ArmedandHammered

He gets it!

ArmedandHammered

I happened to watch that the other day, so fucking funny. Stacy Keatch as Sgt. Stedanko and I want that vaporizer gun he uses.

ArmedandHammered

I have always been dumber but the last thing I have wanted is to feel bigger.

Gumbygirl

He gets yappy on the Yorkie

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Wait a sec, is The Hockey Song, by Zevon the puzzle?

“He was born in Big Beaver by the borderline
He started playing hockey by the time he was nine”

scotchnaut

If it’s the puzzle answer I get an…[wait for it] assist.

scotchnaut

One wonders if the posting of this tune affects the chances of Austin Matthews scoring more or less than 50 goals next season.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkO-m3sPoPA

scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives

The blair witch could lay down a wicked cross check.

BeefReeferLives

I stand corrected. I thought I poasted that awhile ago, but don’t see it.

Galaxy brain strikes again…

scotchnaut

Is REM’s first five albums the greatest run of any band? I’ve no idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=559eWB93jW4

DJ TAJ

NICE

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Most influential debut albums? Velvet Underground and The B-52’s. Don’t fight me. I’m tired.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvCng7-za1Y

DJ TAJ

Statc-X Wisconsin Death Trip

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Now there’s some late round value, yessir.

Gumbygirl

I love the video for this one

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Here’s some more late round value…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAxccK-KgBI

DJ TAJ
BeefReeferLives
DJ TAJ

John Fogerty is the quintessential guitar/voice guy of the entire 70’s rock movement. Made wearing flannel cool

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

“I’ve been a big fan of this all-female band since they were juniors in high school”, is not something that I should say but is something that is true.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jdmxn3yjek

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Please tell me that this is not the puzzle song…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hqklWJxUTo

scotchnaut
SonOfSpam

Well, the good version still is.

scotchnaut

Translation: “I hate new things! And now my pants are wet. Again!”

SonOfSpam

lol like I’m wearing pants

DJ TAJ

Roberta

DJ TAJ

I’m guessing he wrote it for her after he had blackened her eye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpQQlJOQszA

scotchnaut

This is gross negligence on my part. I play this every year for wifey on a certain date. smh…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8_igT7N5GY

DJ TAJ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daqWqAM5EC4

Think I’m out of guesses

scotchnaut

Could never wrap my head around UB40-lots of political tunes, some danceable stuff, ballads, covers… They were all over the map.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xffPN-tAqwE

Gumbygirl

That whole album is perfection.

DJ TAJ

A song about a beaver?

scotchnaut

“I mean, come on!”

-RTD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOK3rqVgN2I

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Jim Kerr and early Simple Minds were just fantastic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIFbzH1lEa0

scotchnaut

Johnny Rotten was always a contrarian. (he looks worse than the corpse of Shane McGowan)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BGi8u8BtaA

DJ TAJ

Feel free to kick me right in the crotch for posting this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6C_nyZLQR8

SonOfSpam

Eh, older Aerosmith is kinda good. Kinda.

scotchnaut

Wifey: “I wish you’d do more around the house.”

Me: “Alexa, play The Four Tops.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iMYUZvQtE8

Last edited 2 months ago by scotchnaut