Hello, there.
Can I bother you for a moment of your time?
No? Too damn bad.
I just wanted to take up some of your work day and update everyone on the beautiful disaster that is tWBS Memorial Fantasy Football Leagues. There are two (2) leagues, the elder Freezer Vodka (FVL) League and the upstart Lowratio League (LL). Top four (4) teams from Lowratio get promoted to Freezer Vodka, and the bottom four (4) from FVL get relegated to LL.
Here are the FVL standings:
At the top of the standings sits Lowratio’s Couch Fetish, Sofa Loren and JD’s Chesterfield Dreams all with perfect 4-0 records. Wow!
In the Relegation Zone currently: Couch Fuckers FC, Dead Hobos, Unnatural Gas, Big Bag of Suck, and The Schlitzstains with an 0-4 record each. Ooof.
Here are the LL standings:
Duke’s Chicago Waffles sits majestically atop the rankings as the only 4-0 team in the league. Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, War and Peace, Casa do vinho FC and Gumbygirl’s Felonious Monks are close behind at 3-1 and battling for the three remaining coveted promotion spots.
And just look at the basement dwellers here: A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge and the Bearsenschiesse Barons can’t stop tripping on their dicks with cleats on and are winless so far. Can they turn their fortunes around? Will it really matter? Do you like movies about gladiators?
There’s still plenty of fantasy fitbaw to be “played” and who knows when SHAN’KHLOR, BLEERGH, DOINK or Roger Goodell, Galactic Disgrace will place their hand on the scales, tipping fortunes and futures in accordance with the all encompassing narrative!
Until next time!
Editor’s Note: Due to unforseen circumstances, this will serve as tonight’s open thread. Enjoy!
Found a funny:
(VP debate)
MODERATOR: What is your favorite sports blooper?
TIM WALZ: July 5, 1989, Paul O’Neill on the Reds bobbling the ball and kicking it to the first baseman because he thought the game was over and accidentally preventing a run
JD VANCE: Women should be required to wear tracking collars
And the cheating Astros lost game 1, so it’s a good day.
However, the Orioles are in danger of losing their game, which may make Fozz angry for the first time.
Aw, John Amos passed.
I thought he died ten years ago.
I’ve been watching Die Hard 2 for years under that impression, which is now accurate…?
You were just ahead of your time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyPBtVAT558
My Duff Goldman cake showed up today. It’s purty!
Important Public Service Message:
https://youtu.be/8uzh-hY1ILY?si=VogWSd0FdS3ayfc6
What’s the punishment for last place in the lower league?
Pure shame is not enough for you?
You have to be the commissioner.
Who’s got two thumbs and is the “proud” owner of the Bearsenschiesse Barons? This guy.
and write a weekly post about the ff league during the season
Nope, I think Litre is the commish for LL. No, the shame is all mine as I am the owner of A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge, at your service.
Incorrect. I am the Lowratio Commish. Litre is Vodka Commish.
Until now I didn’t even know I was in the league yet I’m in a commanding twelfth place. Wish I knew how to log in; I have no idea who is on my team.
One night, two Big Turk bars, Lowratio, steel cage.
I assumed at first that was the stadium from Civil War, but then I realized it was just the Raiders practice field.
Unnatural Gas ownership hereby reiterates its full support to the current General Manager to continue this season and reach new heights after relegation.
That’s you? And Sharky is Couch Fuckers FC. Still don’t know who some of los otros are.
That solves one mystery!
Some teams (Dead Hobos, mine) are fairly easy to figure out who is who. With others, it’s kinda difficult…
Anyone care to reveal themselves?
Proud owner of Casa do Vinho FC in the Lowratio league.
Just suffered my first loss of the season but fully prepared to kick enough righteous ass to get promoted.
In the twbs leagUe, based on current standings:
1 – balls
2- Zymm
3- GTD
4- Senor Weasalo
5 – Maestro
6- Hippo
7- Mr Ayo
8- Rev ???
9- Spam
10- Sharky
11 – Scotchy
12- DonT
13 – litre
14- BGR
Thanks!
We fuck stomas, yes we do
We fuck stomas, how ’bout YOU?