Sexy Friday – 20241115

TGIF! Hope you’ve been appointed to a new government position this week. And don’t worry, experience is not required.

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s learn how to survive begin adrift at sea.

  • First off stay in your boat as long as possible. The life raft is a last resort here. The rule of thumb is the water should be up to your waist before getting in the life raft.
  • Take as much in supplies as can fit in the life boat. Your most important need will be water, so pack those water jugs in first. Any water jugs that don’t fit, secure to the life boat with string and throw them overboard as they will float. Drink at least 1/2 a galloon of water a day to stay hydrated. Then you’ll want canned food. Don’t forget the can opener.
  • Stay near the boat. Rescuers will first look for you in the vicinity of where the SOS signal came from. Make a sea anchor by tying a bucket with rope and attaching to the raft. Deploy the anchor on windward side of the raft to keep the raft pointed toward the wind to minimize the chances of capsizing.
  • Stay covered. Exposure or hypothermia is the most likely reason you won’t make it. Wear dry clothes and stay out of the water. If the life boat has a canopy use it, otherwise wear a hat, long sleeved shirts, and, yes, pants.
  • If help isn’t on the way, time to start to attempt to get back to dry land. First, fashion a sail using two oars attached to opposite sides of the raft and a poncho in between as the sail. Use a third oar as a rudder to steer.
  • Try to locate land. Puffy clouds with a flat bottom in a clear sky are usually formed over land. Watch for flocks of birds. In the mornings they’ll be leaving land, and in the afternoon they’ll be returning to land. Follow them.
  • Maneuvering a raft is hard work and the journey will be slow. Rest often so you don’t exhaust yourself and use up your food and water supplies.
  • Use a VHF radio or flare kit to signal any nearby boats or planes. You can also use a mirror to reflect sun light to get their attention. To aim, hold the mirror just under your eye and extend your other hand and form a V. Position the V, so the target boat or plane is in the middle. Then swivel the reflected light between your two fingers.

Congrats! Now that you’re back on land settle into that couch and get ready for a full weekend of doing nothing and watching football.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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BugEyedBoo

Well, that was a fiasco here. Fight never did come on for the TV. We got tired of fighting it and just had our daughter ask her friends who won. Watching it now on the missus’ iPhone.

ballsofsteelandfury

I ended up watching the first three rounds in YouTube before the streams were taken down due to Netflix making copyright claims.

YOU CAN’T MAKE A COPYRIGHT CLAIM IF YOUR FUCKING STREAM WON’T STREAM!

yeah right

That was bloody AWFUL!

Tyson was too old to take the money shot?

SonOfSpam

He’s no Nina Hartley.

ThePirateSloth

MrsSlothWench…WenchySloth? Pirate WenchSloth?… need to workshop that name… Anyways, we took a client to see a cover band they love, and while the band is having their break, they are playing the Cha Cha Slide, Macarena, and a few other line dance type songs.

These 50+ year old white women of Lake Oswego are eating it the fuck up. And they absolutely can not do any of these slides, hops, turns, and dips. It’s both hysterical and embarrassing at the same time. Like, this shit should be in your wheelhouse, y’all been to like a zillion weddings by this point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How about ThePirateWench?

SonOfSpam

AnneBonnySloth?

ThePirateSloth

She says she wants to known as Chunk.

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ThePirateSloth

Clearly we were made for each other.

SonOfSpam

lol that’s a trap

ThePirateSloth

Me, when the Mrs says she loves mecomment image

yeah right

You can’t chicken dance?

Get the fuck out of my Beach community!

2Pack

Add more wine and watch those dance moves take off.

SonOfSpam

Dammit, I thought after the rapist won last week, maybe Tyson could make it two in a row.

Spur

And ends my watch. Till Sunday!

clint greasewood

Maybe next fight for Jake Paul will be a spry Bruce Willis.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wing is 64 years old these days, her management is guilty of malpractice if they haven’t opened up talks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqBWvmhS-AY

yeah right

Damn that’s good.

Made my old ass laugh.

Brick Meathook

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Spur

I’ll give the Fight on a scale of Glass Joe to Super Macho Man
Glass Joe

Am going to report Jake for elder abuse

Spur

Nice of Jake to let Mike use his walker during rounds

Spur

I wish. Canelo would end this fool

Spur

This feels wrong

yeah right

Very scripted.

ballsofsteelandfury

Father Time: still undefeated

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[frowns, prepares a fresh blood transfusion] – Peter Thiel

Spur

Mike is ancient and can’t move and Jake will not get close to him

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, there’s nothing left to watch here.

WCS

Remember he blew his knee out against Hoyfield in 2003 or somesuch.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assume that Mike Tyson has forgotten more about boxing than Jake Paul ever knew. The concern is that Mike Tyson has forgotten *everything* he knows about boxing, among just about everything else.

Doktor Zymm

Well he can’t of forgotten how consent works because you can’t forget what you never knew

yeah right

He signed the contract and I’m not seeing a “Hangover 5.”

clint greasewood

I hope Mike stopped taking his meds to prep for this match.

Spur

I got Tyson ready for a nap and some Matlock after round 4

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, round three was not good for him

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve got Tyson ahead by two rounds

Spur

More like Rusted Mike Tyson. Kill him Mike!

WCS
Gatoraids

this going to the the sequel to The Wrestler

WCS

What happens if he crashes the car on the way in?

Gatoraids

let meet the biters?

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow Netflix sucks balls!

WCS

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Gatoraids
Spur

72k in Texas Stadium. At least Micah gets to see 1 win in the stadium

Spur

Gronk looks like he has fun CTE

Spur

Get on with it. It’s close Grandpa Tyson’s bedtime

Spur

nice looks like i’ll get to watch this on my 70 inch tv in 320p

Spur

I’ll die at my keyboard!

Doktor Zymm

So which douchecanoe is getting the most beat?

Bogdanski

Possibly my favorite insult

Spur

Netflix dead. The farms are on fire

BugEyedBoo

Works on my wife’s iphone, but not on my TV. Granted, this Sony is a piece of shit. Be a cold day in hell before I buy another one, blah blah blah.

Seriously, it’s been nothing but trouble, not just depriving my of my god-given right to watch Mike Tyson kill his own brain cells.

Gatoraids

yeah still fine on my PC after I switched from the TV

2Pack

Solid survival advice here today Mr Ayo. And I’d like lady number 2 to be adrift with today. My contribution to the sexy…

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yowza!

Spur

I’ll give the 1st Fight on a scale of Glass Joe to Super Macho Man.
I give it a Don Flamenco
the Irish lass leads with her head

Gatoraids

the GOAT

Gatoraids
WCS

Anyone else remember this just randomly screaming this at you from the TV at the oddest times?

Doktor Zymm

Yup! And it seemed sketchy even as a kid

Spur

Everyone needs to login out of Netflix. My stream keeps buffering. Thank you

Game Time Decision

I guess the internet isn’t bigger in Texas

Gatoraids

ERCOT internet strikes again

yeah right

That answers my question. I just got home and started watching and this is a shitball.

WCS

The OL’ DOUBLE J has Mother Nature ruin his Superb Owl and to blind his GOTTDANGED STARS. Now, it’s Netflix’s turn to crush his coke-addled frenzy.