Good morning, reprobates. Scotchy had some fresh hobos to skinfamily bidness to take care of, so y’all stuck with me. You get paroled for SNF, when Litre takes over. To the action!
Vikings (-3.5) at Bearistocrats (Fox)
Touch of Downs continues to show signs of hard regression to the paste-eater we all know and mostly tolerate. Will he go full-you-know-what against the surprisingly competent Chi**** pass defense? Will the home crew score enough points for it to matter?
Lions (-7.5) at Fat Humps (Fox)
I wanted to try and sell this as a potential banana skin, but couldn’t keep a straight face. Runaway NFC freight train continues unabated to the Lombardi.
P*ts (+7.5) at LOLfins (CBS)
Finally, a home favoUrite, and Tua seems to be getting a bit of his mojo back. Though let’s not make him think too hard about that stuff. Drake Maye has been doing his best “Bad Josh Allen” impression, which is still a whole lot better than the Massholes faithful have been used to seeing under centre. Sleeper good matchup.
Bucs (-6) at Vertically Enhanced Persons (CBS)
OK, fine. I can’t think of anything nice to stay here. Good news, Jerseyites! You are free of the Dimebag boogeyman. The bad news is…everything else. MRSA Men have a very soft defense to welcome Dr. Mantiss Toboggan back to the active roster.
Non-Gendered Cowpersons (+10.5) at Commies (Fox)
No seriously, this is a game that will actually happen. Just be thankful it wasn’t cemented into the SNF window or sommet. Cooper Rush is gonna have a bad time. Dok Zymm will have quite the opposite.
Chefs (-10.5) at Black Panthers (CBS)
Ah, the universe snaps back into balance, with a 10.5-point road dog to balance out the Commies rawdogging of the ‘Persons. Let’s just hope Wee Bryce doesn’t die, and that KHunt gets me lots of evil fantasy points. Spoiler – the first part is far likelier than the second. Pacheco Truthers have to wait another week to see if his leg falls plum off.
Tits (+7.5) at 500s (CBS)
Classic Surly Duff matchup here, and I have low scoring vibes. Sooner or later, Tennessee will successfully keep its opponent down in the muck for 60 minutes. Or dare we hope 70, and Most Glorious Draw?
The Rehabilitation of Darnold’s Reputation continues unabated.
The second week in a row the Bears have arguably outplayed their opponent and they’re gonna lose again.
Yard stick holder in Chicago just caught airborne Achilles tear. Someone tell A-Aron and RFK!
So much for being able to mock Boys fans as I watch Dallas lose twice in one week.
Jesus, Montez Sweat had enough time to transfer buses on that sack.
I kinda think a safety on the first drive of OT should also win the game
I think it does.
YUP, I ran the lawyerball brain through it once. Potential loophole covered.
Halloween, 2017. Redshirt doesn’t forget.
This is dumbest game of the season.
Which one?
Both
Us for caring
Chi**** somehow shooting themselves in the dick, worser than the Commies.
Chicago is known for its gun violence.
Overtime is where Bearsenschiesse really makes it presence known.
Of course this has to end with someone getting their brain liquidated.
They are using up the entire year’s supply of bananacakes in this Washington game.
https://youtu.be/51QBJpiy7CA?t=95
Nuts. That should’ve been set to 1:33, not 1:35.
Clearly someone pushed the bananacakes button
Most damage by Sieberts since Chernobyl.
Let’s go Washington onside!
Should’ve gone for two. At least Daniels can do his fucking job.
siebert was doing great before his injury, shoulda stayed out another game
Dude
FUUUUUUUCK
I hope that Hail Mary didn’t infect them with Bearsenscheisse
The Danny Boy curse is a cruel one.
SHANKLOR FEASTS
Hippo, he have no words. Even word salad.
Looks like a recount is under way in Washington
And SHAN’KHLOR says, “Fuck your comeback. I RULE HERE!!”
Oh Cowboys…
Wow