DonT has passed me the baton, which I shall pass back for SNF. Apparently, this is “broadcaster experiment” week at The Shield, with both CBS and Fox putting on doubleheaders (so all kickoffs are 4:25, instead of the typical split with 4:05). What a time to be alive.
Fat Humps (+4.5) at Donks (4:25, CBS)
Seven-seed tiebreaker implications ahoy! Denver also soon travels to WKRP broadcast range for a head-to-head with the other possible 7. I think I speak for all the 2-seed hopefuls out there that they’d all rather play Indy or Donks (WOO) rather than the Burrow/Chase nightmare. A little worried here, in that Indy might be able to run effectively against a fairly undersized front seven.
Bills Mafia (+2.5) at Fuck LioUns (4:25, CBS)
Game of the Century (uh duh WEEK), for sure. This is quite the loaded window, truly. I get the sense that prognosticators sense a Buffalo wagon-circling here, since (i) they are the more desperate squadron; and (ii) have the best individual talent on the pitch. But Dan Campbell’s men seem to relish “prove it” moments like this. Hippo is sticking with the best position group in the NFL (ie, Fuck LioUn OL).
P*ts (+6) at Qards (4:25, CBS)
Oh, one feels bad for those stuck in this broadcast area. As small as it must be, given the complete lack of stakes and storylines. I don’t even have to stress about whether Trey McBride will bail my fantasy arse out yet again (bye week WOO).
Yinzers (+5.5) at Iggles (4:25, Fox)
Oh, how Coach Epps loves being in this spot. Almost a full-tuddy underdog? And with a defensing unit that can force Philly into reliance on the pass game? This is Yinzburgh crack, imaginary ppls. Another excellent watch. Hey, 4 outta 5 is pretty doggone good.
MRSA Men (+3) at Clippers du Merde (4:25, Fox)
It pains me to admit how good a jorb Lesser Harbs has done with his Spanoi-hexed charges. Watch him flummox Baker, Baker into being his true Turnover Maker self. But Justin Herbert has been battling various knocks all season, and I worry about his ability to navigate the Dec/Jan gauntlet in one piece. Tampa has quietly fixed its shit quite nicely, too.
The Bills and Lions should save some of these points, they may need them in the playoffs.
healthy players. the words you are looking for are healthy players
nantz and romo, the proper name is hook and lateral
define what a “ladder” is and we can talk
Y’all, the Packers are wearing alternate white uniforms and helmets. It’s really disconcerting. They look like a good Jets team in an alternate universe.
Today was a good day for fat players.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1hf45d6/highlight_dan_skipper_catches_a_touchdown_from/
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1hezb0h/highlight_tvondre_sweat_channels_inner_running/
https://old.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1hf0om5/highlight_300pound_jeremiah_ledbetter_does_a/
The MrsSloth bought a surprise Seahawks knit hat that lights up for herself and just put it on.
I love this woman.
Godiva chocolate a chilled glass of pinot grigio and nicotine for dessert?
Why, yes!
Artist’s depiction of how the Fozzes keep the neighbors in check.
We usually aim a little lower, once in awhile you get lucky and hit someone’s gas tank, or annoying dog.
Fair point.
Let’s assume that she was responding to some little bastards in a treehouse making too much noise.
think shes shooting at some drones brutha
That just reminded me of this scene in Independence Day
Give every Murrikan a bunch of guns/ammo, legalize murder, and let’s just fucking go.
Charm City baby!
afc looks just about set for playoff teams if the donks hold on here
Hey, no! The Bengals can still win their final three games, and Denver is one of those games, so Denver loses their other two games, the Colts and Dolphins lose one of…one…(breaks down crying)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REyrrVfxd7c
I know this won’t embed.
Again, what the shit, Clots?!
Just LOL after LOL
https://old.reddit.com/r/Colts/new/
that’s fucking glorious
The Colts are making a serious play to be included in the NFL’s comedy franchise troupe, and they are trying to seal the entire deal TODAY.
ANYWAY, I found it. I should’ve gone to the Broncos subreddit first (but then I’d have missed all the Fat Hump schadenfreude).
https://www.reddit.com/r/DenverBroncos/comments/1hf6j9l/bonitto_bonitto_bonitto_bonitto_bonitto/?rdt=63340
Dan Campbell, thoroughly believing his own hype.
Stupid, fucking Lions.
Rawr, Motown!
Oh, no, Watt.
Anyway …
It is so so weird to be inside the stadium an hourish before the game. Usually we are still at the bar, walking in during the anthem. Or hearing the anthem as we walk up.
Welp, Rainier time. Gotta catch up to my usual drunk self because I need to boo the Packers and lose my voice for a few days.
Holy fuck it must be National Knock Motherfuckers Out Day.
Not complaining.
Why that is Fozz’s favoUrite holiday!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADgCeYJMN4
-Neurologist with cocaine bills to pay
Clots… no way that’s real…
i keep saying it every year, curse of andrew luck is a motherfucker and justifiably so
fuck the fat humps
–Bug Eyed Boo
I guffawed.
TOO SOON, ABED!!!!
only doing it cuz having kidney stones at least every 3 years of my life ive had more blood and other things out my dick and other related trauma.
Little tip if you get a stone stuck in your dick you can form a kink in it like a hose to build pressure to get it out!
That and hot showers help with back pain even suppressing stones while they lastr
You think you know pain, but then you see how a really bad team plays and things are put into perspective.
My overdeveloped sense of perspective these days (artist’s conception):
An evening with Dua Lipa? Will she be singing? Then no thanks.
Only down by two TDs. It’s still good. It’s still good.
Which saint was St Brown?
patron saint of foolishly eating at subway
St Brown means same idea but foolishly ate at Taco Bell.
What can (St.) Brown do for you?
Needed a Saquon td for a ticket. Hail Gamblor.
Patrick Mahomes day to day after suffering ankle injury vs. Browns; ‘It’s not broken,’ Chiefs HC confirms – CBSSports.com
The Narrative is being tested.
wentz means chiefs games will be bullshttingly won by 1 instead of 3
NFL HQ: “How can we apply the Palpably Unfair Act?”
This is the third year in a row this has happened. He’ll start next game and won’t be visibly limited
They hang an insulin pump filled with toradol in his shoulder pads.
Fucking hell that dinner was delicious!
Great job, Little Chef!
If you win the Battle of Pennsylvania, have you really won anything?
This is what it feels like to be a Colts fan? (shudders)
This is what Philadelphia does.
Last year no. This year, yes.
Najee what the fuck?
You’d think ‘keep your eyes on the ball’ would be drilled into you after 20+ years of football.
Fat Humps ought to be up 3 or 4 scores. It’s 13-10.
Yup. I can’t wait to make the drive into DC – two hours each way – to hear this in every meeting and email.
My work shuts down for the year before Christmas. We celebrate “That’s Next Year’s Problem” season.
I start that in April.
we are so close to one day during a super bowl somebody celebrating a long td on the one yard line and causing a game-winning touchback