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Monday Evening Thread – Vacation eve

ArmedandHammered

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Just gonna do a very quick Carpenter job as I have not stopped moving since 7am.  Due to work difficulties, I am handling all departure checklist items by myself, I got behind and the thread is late.

Sorry, but trying to get ready to head to Walla Walla is taking precedence.

Go Hurricanes beat the Devils.

Word count filler: To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock, in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock, awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock, from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block.

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WCS

Just took a call for a reported lost emu running about.

Turns out, there are at least five that are loose!

Someone get Dennis and Frank to get Dee under control here.

4
WCS

Two calls.

Notice just went around the room: up to FIVE emus loose in McKeesport.

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Gumbygirl

If I were a loose emu, I wouldn’t be hanging out in McKeesport.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You should call Liberty Mutual Insurance for help and play it completely straight.

2
Mr. Ayo

Stupid Doug. Get your shit together!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Met that guy after a Groundlings performance he was in one time. I remember because he has the same name as a guy I went to college with. He was a lot funnier in that show than he is in the commercials.

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Gumbygirl

If you have bread from Upper Crust Bakery, it may have shards of glass in it. Distributed nationwide. How the fuck does that even happen?

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Gatoraids

Wheat produced in Silicon Valley?

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WCS

may have shards of glass in it…How the fuck does that even happen?

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Beerguyrob

No lies detected.

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Doktor Zymm

Ok, that’s quite enough internet for me today

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Gumbygirl

I don’t know what the worst part of this story is- the necrophilia or the fact there was a train riding corpse in the first place.

1
Gatoraids

only surprised it didnt happen during SantaCon

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Virst off, it was not rape, the man vas my husband. Second off, I was only pretending to be dead…” – Melania T, resident of Manhattan

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WCS

“………”

— Ivanka T., parts unknown

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Gumbygirl

She’s dead on the inside.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dying on the inside, you say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW0-jrDeSgQ

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blaxabbath

Why did the football coach yell at the vending machine?

Because he wanted his quarter back!

6
Beerguyrob

Pierre “Atlanta Falcons” Poilievre.

Dude had a 25-point lead on Justin Trudeau & lost to a free agent signing.

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Beerguyrob

See?

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WCS

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SonOfSpam

“Matty Ice” does sound like a Canuck name.

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Gumbygirl

Yay the hat! We scared you straight, so yay us too?

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Doktor Zymm

Hey, I hear Trump lost the Canadian elections, goUod jerb hatters!

Last edited 11 months ago by Doktor Zymm
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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hoping for a Liberal minority government so they need to work with another party to get stuff done, but who knows
At time of writing, PP may lose his seat. I don’t expect that to last but still funny while it lasts

3
Dunstan

The Conservatives can still form the next government if Mike Pence has the courage to Stop the Steal!

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Saw that in the Neapan riding, there are 91 choices on the ballot. WTAF?

0
Dunstan

So I got home this evening to find a black plastic bag tied up by the handles and left in front of my front steps. If it’s dog poop, it’s a pretty large bag. I’m baffled. I’m not feuding with any neighbors, no vengeful exes, so can’t imagine someone is sending me a message. DFOers wouldn’t have forgotten to light it on fire.

Could just be a random litterbug. But I can’t say I’m too eager to pick this thing up — maybe I’ll poke it with a old broom and nudge it into the bushes?

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Tell me you’ve been delivered body parts without telling me you’ve been delivered body parts.

From Northern Ontario

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Dunstan

The tariffs on Canadian body parts are really high, though!

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Dunstan

Ok, but “a firing range of one full block” isn’t going to get it to your place.

1
Doktor Zymm

Someone ordered doordash and they got the address wrong?

1
SonOfSpam

DoorDookie

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SonOfSpam

Happy Birthday!

6
Mr. Ayo

Open it up coward

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Gatoraids

WHAT IS IN THE BAG, who’s in the BAG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHpHxLZReiI

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scotchnaut

The volume was off but I saw Lane Johnson yapping. Hope it wasn’t as bad as this cynic expected it to be.

0
Doktor Zymm

Plenty of places in Philly to get hamberders

1
scotchnaut

I’ve been watching CTV’s coverage of the election (one of the alternatives to the CBC) and it’s incredibly obvious that this guy/woman duo do not like each other. No smiles at all between them, no anecdotes, nothing. I don’t think they’re even capable of a hate fuck.

Current Score:

Libs: 84

Cons: 61

BBQ: 13

NDP: 1(!) YAY!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Tuning in for the live hate

1
Gatoraids

Cleveland’s bench scoring most points since Kramer’s bench gift to Elaine

1
Dunstan

Canadian election returns are delightful. I just saw an early report on a race that was 7 votes to 2. “Of course it’s very early.” Ya think?

More importantly, how does this affect the Leafs’ playoff chances?

5
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Torna typically votes Liberal, so they are too woke to win the cup

0
Senor Weaselo

*walks into clubhouse, in suit and tie post-gig*

Fuck Pat Riley.

2
scotchnaut

“Fuck Pat Riley? I like the way you think!-lot’s of potential there.”

-Jordon Hudson

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