2025 Quotables – Week 7 (Submissions)

Look — your below Quotables submissions are coming in late with a Wednesday arrival. Do people even remember what happened Week 7 at this point? I mean, once you drop Mike Evans from you keeper team, hasn’t the average viewer already gotten tired of watching his lie ded on the field when we’re trying to play a game over here? “Flush the turd,” as some would say.

Nonetheless, I think I got the [good ones of] you some data images to play with. Catch you all back Friday for results.


Mike Deadvans

A visual representation of the vacuum noise at the RTD residence (Note: RTD wants me to remind you he lives in LA)

Punt returners sliding to avoid contact? These pussies.

“I can’t believe a team that cannot stop scoring on us continues to score on us!”

“This Jaxon Smith-Njigba gives me a recruiting idea,” Woody Johnson, booking his next visit to Epstein Island

Not featured in picture: Wedding Ring/Spouse.

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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[…] this link are the Week 7 Quotables submissions. I intended to fill the remaining space with a half-assed Arizona Cardinals bye-week post here. But […]

SonOfSpam

Last time I saw orange people this happy, they were singing about how fat Augustus Gloop was.

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Last edited 4 months ago by SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

This is karmic payback for making Johnny Manziel a thing.

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Senor Weaselo

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“Guys, the new touchdown celebrations are great and all, but you have to get the ball in the end zone first.”

BeefReeferLives

“GodDAMNit!! I’m used to losing, but now I’ll have to go shake that smarmy bastard’s hand while he’s got that little smirk on his face. FUCK!!!”

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Last edited 4 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Downfield Matriculator

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THIS BRAXTON BERRIOS I CALL HIM LOCA THE PUG, ‘CUZ HE CAN’T FECKIN’ RUN

/for reference, from simpler times on the interwebs . . .
https://youtu.be/x2RJN9a_jdM?si=sMAW90N3lSrCDtXW

Downfield Matriculator

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Woody Johnson too cheap even to provide a proper dumpster

nomonkeyfun

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“J-E-T-S, that spells smrt.”

-Lennie Chrebet

nomonkeyfun

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Man, white people can’t run.

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Last edited 4 months ago by nomonkeyfun
LemonJello

“Sir, this is an Arby’s parking lot.”

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LemonJello

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“Even losing like this, I’ll probably still be coaching this team next week. Dammit!”

ArmedandHammered

I actually wonder if he is tanking to get fired and retire on his buyout?

Sharkbait

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My fantasy teams, personified

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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After review, touchdown Seahawks
-NFL refs
/still bitter

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Good start, now where’s the table?
-Bill’s Mafia

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Back Injury, probable to return
-Miami’s upstairs medical team’s diagnosis

BeefReeferLives

Also not featured in picture: His Cybertruck

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ArmedandHammered

What do you think started the fire?

ArmedandHammered

He’s an Eagles fan, fire making is beyond his capabilities.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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That would be embarrassing if the Houston Texans actually existed

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Side effects from BoNix include taunting, excessive jubilation from beating a shit team, and in some cases, erections lasting longer than 15 seconds

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also dry mouth

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Fuck I knew this hat was bad luck!”

LemonJello

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Well, what do you expect is going to happen when the punt return call is “RG3@FedEx Field”?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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🎼🎶 Oh, the clavicle’s connected to the….nothing anymore 🎶

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

he’s got that Bluetooth clavicle

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If that’s actually Wayne Chrebet, this might be best possible scenario for a retired Jets lifer

WCS

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Father Time wins.
Fatality!

LemonJello

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THIS CROWD, I CALL IT SCRAMBLED TRUMP PORN BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF BLURRY ORANGE ON MY SCREEN AND I DON’T LIKE IT

LemonJello

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Little late with the Charlie Kirk tribute, dontchathink?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“My Njigba!”

–The Ghost of Jerry Richardson, still not getting it