Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2025 Season

Huzzah, last time my old arse has to think until 2026!

Congratulations to #ThePauls, who were 7 yards away of Pauling away their game-long lead – but they prevail 13-6 and the Ratbirds will have to affirmatively lose the division in Week 18 (which they no doubt will).  Sanders and Q-aron proved you can be an incompetent quartered back at any age, and also an arrogant douchebag.  #BreakingBarriers

Fuck You LOLfin! gave the Black Panthers a chance to wrap up the NFC South, which they unsurprisingly fucked away.  But credit the home side for defending their home turf in a 20-17 win over the MRSA Men, that was MOAR convincing than the final tally would indicate.

As noted above?  Wee Bryce shit all over the Richardson Family Plantation, and even with ample gifts from December Mode Touch of Downs – we finish with a lopsided 27-10 SeaTruther win.  I wonder if Canales starts Andy Dalton in Tampa next week?  Perhaps importantly, Charlotte would clinch with a Most GlorioUs Draw in Week 18, too.  Give us a 6-6 final, PLEASE GOD.

Break up…the SAINTS?  I mean, maybe (4 wins on the spin).  They dug a deep hole, then came alive offensively in the back half (PHRASING) to claw to a 34-26 win in Nashville.  Deliciously, Kansas City will be the ONLY FUCKING TEAM to lose at the Tits this season.  So.  Fucking.  Funny.

Old Man Rivers has likely danced his last jig, in front of the Gravy Boat faithful.  Fully out of the playoffs, and unlikely to even have a spoiler role.  Rivers kept the Humps in it until the very end, but Duuuuvvvvaaaalllll prevails, 23-17.  They control their destiny for the division, only needing a home win against Tennessee.  Still need some help for that 1 seed, though.

Arizona’s Qards predictably avoided any and all resistance to Border Patrol, and Burrow got to toss a few tuddies (and go over 3 bills) as well.  It was a gaping blowout from the jump, WKRP by a 37-14 final.

Maybe Aaron Glenn gets fired after all?  35-3 at HT, home to the hated P*ts…won’t sit well.  It went all the way to 42-3, before a mercy Breece Hall run closed things at 42-10.  New England needs to win against Miami (at home, so they surely will) and get some Clipper-based help if they’d like a bye – but the East is in the bag with this’un.

I almost exclusively watched “full to Buffalo” late, since that was the only game other than the blatantly obviously tanking Raiders and the Vertically Enhanced Persons.  The trying side easily prevailed, 34-10..  Congrats, Mike Kafka, you now have MOAR NFL head coaching victories than Hippo.  Only took you what, 7 tries?  Pffffttttt.

That leaves Philly at Buffalo, in cold and rainy (but no snow, BOOOOOO) WNY.  Natives got a little restless at the Iggles keeping a first half clean sheet.  Thanks to great tackling inside the 5, Philly extended that bagel into Q4.  But they only had 13 of their own FITBAW points.  Would they regret leaving some meat on the bone?

Uh, yeah.  Despite his oot owie, Brokeback sneak/pushed across for 2 TDs in the last 5.5 minutes.  And Hurts didn’t complete a single forward pass after HT.  Lucky for Sirianni, they blocked the extra point at 13-6.  So the Bills elected to go for two, with 5 ticks on the clock.  Shakira’s lyin-ass hips fooled the Iggle secondary, but Allen’s throw pulled left for a Philly suck-out.  13-12, fin.

YOU.  CAN.  NOT.  KEEP.  PLAYING.  WITH.  YOUR.  FOOD.  We ain’t want Litre to die!!

Oh, and SNF.  Maybe I’ll watch at least a little?  Bearistocrats! at Tomsulas is interesting enough, with possible seeding implications.  Plus the memes!