Monday Morning Mock Draft: All Dressed, Father

Guten Tag, drones.

I’m whipping this up at 11:24 pm EST, not because I forgot about it but because out 14-year-old cat deigned to sit on my lap as I watched the USA-Dominica game, (the Dominicans got absolutely hosed on the called 3rd strike, and that umpire needs to be investigated for gambling), and when that happens I simply am not allowed to move.

The circulation is just now returning to my knees.

So let’s make this quick.  This week we draft potato chip flavors.  In order to increase the draft pool the same flavor can be drafted more than once, so long as it is the same flavor by a different brand.  The brands often make a big difference:  Lay’s for instance, although the featured image, makes trash chips that are too thin and that fall apart if you try to put some onion dip on them.

Do better, Lays.

(fun fact, is you take the comma out of that last sentence is the advice the counselor told Brett Favre during marriage counseling)

We are drafting potato chips.  You cannot take Doritos, or Fritos, or tortillas chips, or anything other than a potato chip.  You will anyway, but you can’t and it won’t count.

With the first pick I will take the classic flavor, sour cream and onion.  The brand I will go with is Connecticut’s own Deep River Snacks and, coincidentally, from Deep River, CT.

Kettle cooked and crinkle cut, as God and Sonny Jesus intended.  Also Deep River donates a portion of each sale to charity, (and a different charity for every flavor, which is neat), so you can feel a little less guilty about loading your cardiovascular system with a bunch of greasy salt.

The rest of you are on the clock.