Not a Model, Mundial PM Thread

Happy Fathers’ Day! I’m a father myself, you know, and therefore looking forward to doing squat shit for the rest of the day. And that unnecessary gruffness is one of the gifts that parenthood bestows on men, aside from the humor:

Via @Thinkwert

I can only describe parenthood as magical. It is truly high alchemy when desire and emotional immaturity and fertility combine. Yes, some folks might be unfit to have a baby, but I think nobody is really prepared to be a parent. There is no school for dealing with

-WAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [coughing fit]

-He’s turning red!

-What! Is he breathing? Let me take a loo–

-WAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

With no sleep plus having to take care of the other adult obligations to keep social workers away. You learn as you go, do the best for the baby, and then reap the rewards: decades of using your children as an excuse to get out of all social occasions / obligations.

And if you get divorced and don’t wanna pay child support, have the kid(s) move in with ya! This advice strengthens parental bonds, but I really like it because it always `angers both the welcher and the custodian parent. Yes, I’m a bundle of joy today.

Anyway, Uruguay coach Marcelo Bielsa had to pose for the official photo. It’s on the banner. Have another look. Unshaved, downward look… Unreal. If he were holding a newspaper, perfect proof-of-life pic.

Bielsa explained that his job required him to attend the photo shoot (at gunpoint, seemingly), and his expression was because he was not a model. The look says: “My wife told me I had to come to this party of people I’ve never met and she will spend the evening swapping work stories and inside jokes”.

GAMES

Uruguay v. Cape Verde, 6 EST, Miami

Cape Verde famously earned a point from Spain after a 0-0 tie, and CPV were rightfully celebrated for it. Meanwhile, URU infamously tied with Saudi Arabia 1-1 and half of Uruguay demanded La Celeste’s immediate deportation, followed by a lynching—in effigy, lynching in effigy. They talk the same, but Uruguay is definitely not Argentina.

URU showed nothing in the first half against Saudi Arabia and trailed 1-0. For the second half, URU subbed three players (notably forward Darwin Núñez, welded to the bench), changed their scheme, and threw everything at the Saudi box in the second half. Sure, the goal for the draw was the only result, but I have never, ever, ever seen URU play balls-out offensive fútbol. It’s thrilling, I want more.

I am confident in URU and think the Arabian second half will spill into this game. CPV showed little offensive initiative against Spain and I do not expect a transformation into the Golden State Warriors. Bonus delusion: URU still doesn’t have Giorgian DeArrascaeta available (2nd best URU player), but he might play against Spain later in the week.

Predicción: URU 2 – 1 CPV, Bielsa’s emotionally-distant provider dad vibes start to get traction. Not that provider dads need any validation. That’s what the emotional distance is for!

New Zealand v. Egypt, 9 EST, Vancouver

 Predicción: I will watch this game, mmm… A hard-fought 1-1.

FINALLY,

I’m still on the fence about mandatory hydration breaks. Some days I think it’s a complete abomination, other times I catch a great meme

Maradona si hubieran existido las pausas de hidratación en México 86.pic.twitter.com/Q2IDwSZgQF

— Chivo Infante (@chivoinmortal) June 18, 2026