This week we’re back to a full work week, none of that Memorial Day nonsense which makes me forget I have a job for 24 extra blessed hours. Now, how to best go about making sure I don’t do that job? Why, I’ll just remember to post a mock draft and then (sorta, kinda, not really), moderate it throughout the day.
This week we have a topic from the possibly angry mind of RTD, who suggested “explosions.” We hashed this out in the back offices and have agreed that it has to be an explosion involving actual explosives, like TNT, volcanoes, that sort of thing. You cannot take JJ Fozz for explosions of anger, nor can you take Peter North for, well, you know good and well what I’m talking about there. Don’t make me type it or we’ll get banned in Florida.
Do we actually have anyone from Florida here? I don’t think we do. Speak up if you are, but be prepared to explain yourself.
I am making the executive decision that you can, however, take an athletic program/politician/celebrity just absolutely exploding their career and/or history. Why? Because it sounded like too much fun when I just ran it through my head, and because it gives me an excuse to post this fun little guy:
Your commissioner today is a man who knows a little too much about pyrotechnics, Howard Payne from ‘Speed’,
the movie that launched Sandra Bullock’s career, as well as launching more than a few things during the movie courtesy of the occasional well-timed explosion.
Rikki has already given me his first pick, the destruction of the Death Star from the original Star Wars arcade game. if he can find a video that isn’t 8 minutes long he can add it here in post. I couldn’t, and I looked for several seconds before giving up in disgust.
— [WORDPRESS EDITOR FLIES OPEN] —
Rikki here. I mean I literally sent Horatio this clip when I proposed the draft topic, but…I suppose I shouldn’t harp on his deficiencies, he gets enough of that at home, and at work, and at restaurants, and when he goes to the post office, and when he’s on vacation, and at the hardware store…and, you know what? Let’s get to the video:
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
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With the second pick I’ll take the destruction of the Death Star from the first movie, ‘A New Hope’ or whatever the hell it was called.
The rest of you are on the clock
Wait a second, nobody picked Jim Brown blowing up the chateau in The Dirty Dozen??? Gotta take that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLpFfZjKhWU
I’m too lazy to read back through, so if any off these are still available then gimme:
1) The asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs
2) The Tunguska Event
3) Nagasaki cuz that was Fat Man
And as long as I’m going with war crimes
4) The fire bombing of Dresden
Best non-explosion goes to Guy Fawkes, Best potential future explosion is obviously if the universe has enough mass to go for the heat death
This is my last choice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jesWxr88uo&ab_channel=Darkives
One big-ass mine in France, July 1, 1916.
Eruption of Krakatoa.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1883_eruption_of_Krakatoa
Sound was heard 3,000+ miles away. Killed over 36,000 people. Also Simon Winchester wrote a really good book about it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krakatoa:_The_Day_the_World_Exploded
Simon Winchester is great
6. I should probably get a Simpsons explosion onto my roster:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCyXsHC-lQ4
You have no idea what it took for me not to draft that out from under you.
I had a backup pick on my board that would have only been slightly less satisfying. We’ll see if it gets taken.
’twas this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuHsoFl970g
First time I’ve ever noticed that the “Only Bridge Out Of Town” sign gets blown into a “Bridge Out” sign.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGzkUgTgpa4
Technically the venting is preventing an explosion, but it does involve the massive and destructive release of gas, and I get to post the farmer worrying that Paul Newman’s gonna have his legs broke, so I’m granting myself a papal indulgence and allowing it.
Mike worked for Paul Newman before he left Philadelphia.
Seems serendipitous that Robert Hanssen dies the same day we’re looking at Trump getting charged (possibly) with espionage. Open cell at SuperMax!
At first I assumed someone offed Hanssen. Then I saw he was nearly 80 and smoked for decades. Nevermind.
Let’s not be too hasty; where was RJ Reynolds when Hanssen died?
Sending him a Winston leather jacket?
And what about Kylian Mbappé, he’d better have a good alibi too.
RELEVANT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJN6QZvrLnY&pp=ygUYZmFtaWx5IGd1eSB0YXlsb3IgaGFuc29u
+1 Mmmmmmmbop!
The Day After (1983)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8l5xznESLc&ab_channel=MrsJsHistory
This was going to be my second pick, but then realized exploding whale was still on the board. Either way, this is far less as fun as watching marine life detonate. However, this film remains pertinent 40 years later.
LET LAWRENCE LIVE!
(still weird that they only wanted one guy to live, but that’s Kansas for ya)
Made Jason Robards’ hair fall out, and he didn’t have a lot to begin with.
Seriously, that show scared the shit out of everybody.
Sure did. And rightly so. Spent my teen years worried that Rappin Ronnie would do something stupid. Fortunately, “Duck and Cover” would’ve saved us.
Flounder!!
Also this film is pertinent 40 years later in that I am very much in favor of Kansas being blown off the map.
Whoopsie-doodle!
https://youtu.be/d5nZ-SwngnE
It’s a party rocket!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msY6IzNsRrU
Glad the dogs were OK.
Clearly the only ones with brains in the video.
Also, Hines Ward!