Week 3 NFL Broadcast Maps

Week 3 is here, and once again the 506 sports gives us advance notice/warning of the Sunday broadcasts.

Here’s the link: http://506sports.com

National Games:

TNF:  Texans @ Patriots, whoever the P*ts QB is, could JJ Watt murder-death-kill him?  As always Fuck the Patriots.

SNF:  Bears @ Cowboys.  Sunday Night Football is supposed to be the preeminent game of the week.  This is not a preeminent game, and I doubt I would watch this game on a Tuesday Night in July.  One day I hope the NFL understands a subpar big market team does not have to have at least four primetime games a season.  Drink up if you’re a Bears fans, because they look especially execrable.

MNF:  Falcons @ Saints.  This week’s primetime games are not exactly barn-burners.   Saints are looking for their first win, while the Falcons are trying not to fade into the depth of obscurity as is their tendency.

On to the Sunday Broadcasts, which boost another surprising 8:5 early to late spread.  Just an overarching note, there seems to be a significant uptick in random broadcasting coverages this week, so I would expect these to change considerably by the weekend.

CBS Early

Broncos @ Bengals (Red): The first road game for Trevor Siemian shall be seen in most of the country.  This is one of the more important AFC match-ups this season.

Browns @ Dolphins (Blue):  A small patch of SE Alabama and SW Georgia get to see this game for some reason, is this penance for secession during the Civil War?   Parts of Michigan and Pennsylvania also get this one.  Sucks to be you.  A tie is as likely an outcome as a win for either team.

Raiders @ Titans (Green):  This one is fairly limited to core markets, both teams are 1-1.  I think the Raiders are the better team at the moment.

Ravens @ Jags (Yellow):  Jags break-out season is likely deferred another year.  Ravens start the season with Bills, Browns, Jags, Raiders, and Redskins, and I thought the league hated them.

CBS Late

Steelers @ Eagles (Red): The quadrennial battle of Pennsylvania between two 2-0 teams is featured in most of the country. You heard Gruden slobber all over him, now it’s time for Phil Simms to gush incoherently for Wentz.

Jets @ Chiefs (Blue): Will Andy Reid waste all his timeouts before the commercial break? Will the Jets secondary give up 3 or more 50+ yard passes despite Alex Smith’s maximum range of 10 yards? Will Trent Green forget what millennium it is? Find out more CBS at 4 PM EST.

Chargers @ Colts (Green): Anyone care to guess why this one is broadcast in some random corner of Tennessee? The Titans play in Nashville but it’s not broadcasted there.

FOX (Early & Late)

Redskins @ Giants (Red): This coverage is a homage to psoriasis.

Cards @ Bills (Green): Apparently, the municipal governments SE Kansas and SW Missouri staked all their underfunded pension plans on this game. Also what’s up with that random enclave in central upstate NY?

Lions @ Packers (Yellow):  This is in most of the core markets as expected plus San Diego and SW Louisiana, I guess the Illuminati-like group from the first season of True Detective are Packers fans.

Vikings @ Panthers (Brown):  You guys remember Injun Sam played at Oklahoma seven years ago?  Vikings are atop the NFC North after a surprising win against the Packers considering the circumstances.  This could be a good match-up.

49ers @ Seattle (Blue) LATE:  Instead of playing football, these teams will try to one-up with their actions during the National Anthem: “Colin Kaepernick is taking a knee, but it looks like Richard Sherman is raising his fist while pledging allegiance to the Union Jack.  Oh wait Pete Carroll is holding a “U.S. Gov’t Did 9/11. Wake up Sheeple!” Banner.  Jed York is charging the government for playing the anthem, and Chip Kelly is using the flag as a draft broad, he’s cutting it up and leaving only the white-colored parts.  Intense Stuff John”.

Rams @ Bucs (Teal) LATE:  Just the core markets for this one.  Again, the Rams presence is really screwing up the broadcasts in Southern California.

Enjoy.