Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him [in bed].
Euripides
Um nope, not gonna suffer for someone else. I loves all yalls, but I’m too big of a baby to suffer with you.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Yep
2Pack
Planning our trip to Spain. We’ve got six full days there; am looking forward to the Dr. Mrs. trying to fit an additional trip to Morocco and Tunisia into that window.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Lot of fine rugs to vacuum there.
blaxabbath
Trying to find the right balance of painkillers and tequila – I want to be numb, not dead.
jjfozz
Surprisingly, sounds like the “interview” between Felony Yam Tits and Sissy SpaceX isn’t going well. They’re trying to blame either a DDOS attack or the FBI/CIA instead of their shitty platform. Shame, because there was definitely going to be important discussions about the future of mankind.
SonOfSpam
I am watching a 2 hour video from a cop’s vest of my client being arrested for DUI and it is not filling me with confidence for tomorrow’s deposition.
Horatio Cornblower
One of those “aw shit, he totally deserved it and more” things?
SonOfSpam
The really embarrassing part is when the client starts ranting to the cop that “this charge won’t stick! I’ve got the best lawyer around, he’s gotten people even drunker than I am off! I don’t mean sexually. But by the way, he owns a sex dwarf, that’s how successful he is!”
Dunstan
Is that you on this tape!?!?
Horatio Cornblower
Like I could afford a lawyer who can afford a sex dwarf….
Dunstan
Thanks for reading [the Bengals preview]. I worked really hard on it, which means I forgot about it and quickly did it at work.
Redshirt
So you got paid while writing it, making you a professional scribe!
SonOfSpam
Best of luck to your boys Redshirt.
2Pack
BugEyedBoo
Found a funny:
🚘 🔥
rockingdog
After the Sunday shopping my fast (and very poor) math says that given this years higher produce costs, the small veggie garden is saving me about $400 or more this year. Production has been good this season. Looks like no olives this year however.
2Pack
Good news everyone: Got my physical blood test results back and if my cholesterol gets any lower Matt Gaetz is gonna try to fuck it!
Horatio Cornblower
So, unfortunately the Dirt Jets won and nobody picked up on my “Sell the team!” chant.
But I saw an umpire get hit in the nuts by an errant throw and the people next to me gave me a slice of their pizza, so all in all I think I made out okay.
Senor Weaselo
Our Qantas flight has arrived.
2Pack
Found a funny:
me: hey medieval peasant. i’m from the future
peasant: oh art thou here to try to kille me with doritos
me: no i just wanted to say you were right all along about hot buttered bread. it fuckin rocks
peasant: it DOTH rock
me: it DOTH
peasant: tis the GOATE
rockingdog
Ridley really could have used a semi-colon in that tweet
Horatio Cornblower
Is that Lowratio’s GI tract?
SonOfSpam
So I went surfing today and managed to catch a lot of waves despite shitty conditions. That always feels good.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt
Don’t let him in the playhouse!
Mr. Ayo
Cowboy Curtis will whoop his ass if he tries anything with Chairry!
Gumbygirl
DEI hires, smh
Doktor Zymm
It’s about time white male athletes got a break.
LemonJello
Starting to think Kenny Pickett is not the answer.
litre_cola
Is the question,”Sweet Jesus, who is that shitty QB on the field now?”
Then he could very well be the answer.
LemonJello
I may have just missed asignal from Mrs Cola. Fuck.
litre_cola
Mrs Cola:
SonOfSpam
Ireland is next. Just a few of weeks.
I’m setting up the itinerary for my 2 fellow travelers, TAJ and eldest right.
Tricky part is I booked everything and getting that to synch on their traveling devices has been interesting.
I’m going to give both of them real old school paper to carry around with them with the schedules, the flights and everything.
Because I’m going to be in the motherland and they’re carrying my ass home!
yeah right
Watching Game of Thrones, S6 E9 and E10. The Battle of the Bastards. I might have said this on here before, but when you guys and gals are building your post-apocalyptic castles just remember: build a moat! You don’t even need water or alligators, just a great big ditch will keep the wildings, orcs, zombies, and Wun Wun out.
BugEyedBoo
I got my hawaii surf lesson lined up.
It’s happening. Well, like a week from Monday.
blaxabbath
Titty Keeper saved from a howler by the post. YIKES
King Hippo
“Titty Keeper” is my favourite Elton John song.
/checks notes
//”Tiny Dancer”. Tiny Dancer is my favourite song
scotchnaut
JD Vance is the only Republican chubby white guy with that beard who orders a couch on Wayfair then gets upset when a 7 year old Singaporean Slave Boy Arrives.
blaxabbath
“A Brazilian on a Colombian”
This week’s topic in “Premier League Call or Ballofsteelandfury’s Porn Hub Search From Last Night?”
Horatio Cornblower
I buried a good friend today. A guy who was my hero growing up, because he was so damn cool. A wife, three kids. He was a funny fucking dude who seriously grabbed life by the balls. I can’t tell you how much I looked up to him, because I was a sheltered dork, and he was cooler than the Fonz.
He killed himself because he was majorly depressed and wouldn’t talk about it. Isn’t that always the way with us men? Us knuckle draggers fuck heads?
I held his widow and we cried and she said, “I just don’t understand. I just don’t know what to do.”
And the thing that sticks with me is that he won’t ever enjoy another second with his children. Ever.
I love him and hate him right now.
I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just feeling low. And sad. And angry. I lifted a toast to him tonight, hoping that he heard it. Wherever he is.
I love you, Craig. And I’m so pissed at you.
jjfozz
Sorry to hear that. Depression is a real bitch
Doktor Zymm
Yes, it sucks. I gave my boys the same conversation today about talking about it – I don’t care who it is, just share those feelings.
jjfozz
Rush Limbaugh is trending on Twitter but don’t worry, he’s still sober.*
*dead
Horatio Cornblower
I got banned for life from the news subreddit for fantasizing that Rush was still alive. Perhaps I was a little to explicit in my depiction of his reaction to finding himself trapped in a dark coffin slowly running out of air.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
the last time i had this much hype/hope for a qb and a bears team just before a season started the pregnancy rate in chicago jumped 1069% later that year
fleshwound_NPG
We invested, heavily, in a shed this summer. Wait, Mrs. Fozz invested heavily, because she was tired of hearing us scream like maniacs whenever Lamar tosses an interception.
But . . . it’s not finished yet (according to Mrs. Fozz). We need to put insultation up, we need to cover it with paneling, we need to put in a floor. We need to get electricity run to it instead of snaking extension cords all over the backyard. Can Italians be white trash? Apparently we can.
Here’s said shed:
jjfozz
Insulation? Can’t your wife just wear a hat? It’s not like she’s going to walk back to the shed in November without being bundled up in the first place.
blaxabbath
It’s not like winters in Maryland are brutally cold. I dunno. I just shut up. I am Al Bundy.
jjfozz
Why is Yeah Right’s name LaserGuru on the linked original wings SG?
Also, a Korean family moved in a couple houses down. Nice people. The wife just feeds me and walks around cleaning whenever I am there. That’s pretty cool.
blaxabbath
Laserguru was my original log in on the original WordPress. When it got upgraded i changed my log in to yeah right.
I’ve airways been yeah right and I’ve always been Laserguru.
Thanks for watching “Behind the Music.”
yeah right
Below reminded me of a joke.
A guy comes into a bookstore and asks the proprietor for the new book living with a small penis.
Bookstore owner replies, “it isn’t in yet”
Customer says, “yup, that’s the book I’m looking for”
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Flat Earth people are really missing out on the much more interesting Hollow Earth pseudoscientific theory
Doktor Zymm
Hear me out: It’s flat AND hollow.
And on the back of a turtle
ThurberHerder
I haven’t done anything yet today and I already feel like a bag of smashed assholes.
Unsurprised
Remember, the difference between smashed assholes and mashed assholes is that the skin stays on in the case of the former!
/This would have been better in Sunday Gravy, I know
Senor Weaselo
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I started watching the Napoleon movie that came out in 2023 last night and Jesus Christ it is awful.
Was it Lowratio’s turn to pick for Cornblower Movie Matinee?
He’s lost those privileges; I can only watch Snow White and the 7 Dwarves so many times.
The LLWS is on in the background and one of the announcers’s is waxing poetic about how you usually don’t see this kind of poise in 11 and 12 year olds and that’s because none of these kids from Venezuela is ever going to see 11 or 12 again, except maybe in the rear-view mirror of the cars they drove themselves to the game in.
“Miguel Cabrera actually knows some of these players.”
Yeah, because he’s batting 6th.
I’ll always enjoy a sexy rexy meme.
A customer wearing a shirt to my job back in 2007 started a domino effect that led to a domino effect of me talking to you degenerates right now
Good thing it was a shirt and not pants
Did someone say Eurípides?
A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
I am inordinately fond of classics jokes
Soon with football content!
Thanks GTD, official DFO historian.
as I’m not funny, I need to do something around here, so history it is
You are doing great work. If I missed any good ones during the week I can count on you to backstop ’em for us.
And as a former class clown… I hate missing any of the clever clowning our clubmates grace us with here.
I guess blax is right, I am not one of the funny ones……
The secret is low cholesterol.
**stares in bewildered Andy Reid**
I’d wager a substantial amount of money that Reid has one of those weird genes where he can eats all the ribs he wants and his cholesterol sits around 150.
He just strikes me as someone who slides through life with little consequences to him directly for all his bad decisions, while everyone around him is devastated.
Don’t have anything direct to pin that on, just more of a feeling really.
A good amount of cholesterol is actually more hereditary than dietary.
Nonsense.
Don’t worry about it.