Meh, I slept through the entire 4p window.  No regerts.

Did anyone predict an 82-point game in Cincinnati?  With the Stillers on the other side??  But that’s what you got, a 44-38 Yinzburgh win, with Charmslinger topping 4 bills (3rd time in career).  Stick a fork in the Bengals, for reals this time.  At least they should have draft position to acquire an anchor LT for 2025.

Commies took a nap of their own (late Q2, early Q3) but around that, they whipped the Tits’ ass.  I guess TN shot their shot last week, and that was all they had in the tank.  Final is Commies by a 42-19 margin.  And it was probably less of a contest than the score would indicate.

Oof, the only storyline from DUUUVVVVAAAALLLLLL was the kill shot the 500s put on Prison Girlfriend.  Seriously, it was gruesome and unnecessary.  The Legend of White Mac managed to get a little frisky late, but only after they dug a 23-6 deficit.  Beatie Mixon then ran the clock out, 23-20 Houston win.

Full credit to the Clippers, they turned the pressure up, and Dingleberry reacted as he is want to do.  FOUR pickerceptions, including the decisive pick 6 (which turned into an octopus and prevented any placement-ing on the last two ATL drives).  17-13, Clips win in Megatron’s Butthole.  That pretty much wraps up their Wild Card berth.  Sherman’s Ashes fall to 6-6.

Qards Talq should be lively this week, as Xbox, Jr. watched a 13-point lead slip, sliding away.  Vikes convert a 4th and 7 to stay alive, then hit Aaron Jones for the winning score, 23-22.  Wee Kyler had a minute and change to work with, to try to backdoor things.  But 4 and out they went, and the home side escape.

Give the Fat Humps credit.  They aren’t good – but they keep fighting.  Down 7 late in Foxborough, they almost succumbed to a goal line stand, finally converting (oddly enough, via pass) on 4th and goal.  12 seconds to play, Steichen immediately looks at the call sheet.  Good for him.  You are fortunate to be in position to win it on one play, don’t chicken out.  Richardon ran QB lead left, crashed into the end zone for a 25-24 final, alive for that 7 seed (they play Denver head-to-head this month).  Somehow, New England STILL managed to get in position to try a 68-yard FG, which was impressively only like a yard-and-a-half short.  Mayo’s P*ts play hard, too.  Just even worse than Indy.

Finally (for the early slate), more delicious Qaron Schadenfruede.  Up 21-7, he had Garret Wilson WIDE OPEN on a slant-and-go for the kill shot TD.  Missed him, and by a good margin.  The very next play, he forced one that got deflected into the unlikely hands of dropping-back-Snack Williams, who even more unlikely-ly CAUGHT IT, then rumbled 92 yards for the game-turning score.  Per NBC, it was the longest ever TD return by a 300+ pound player.  You made all of Fat America proud, Mr. Williams!  Seattle still needed lots of help/fortune to claw back and actually win (26-21), but you know…J-E-S-T, Jest Jest JEST!!!

Now, for three games I ain’t see!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! appeared to have a halftime wakeup call, turning a nil-6 deficit into a 21-14 win in the Superdome.  Much like Cincy, you can formally stick the fork in N’Awlins.  Yes, even in THAT division.

Speaking of, MRSA Men somehow wasted a monster Bucky Irving performance (185 combined yards and a score, Stoma Fuckers faithful appreciated it), needing TWO Piniero missed placements just to take the home Black Panthers to Extra Time.  First, Tampa’s kicker misses from 55.  That means a Black Panther FG would win it, but just inside the 30 Chuba Hubbard can has fumble.  Bucs move the ball down to the 10, and win 26-23 on the chip shot.  6-6, tied with ATL but losing the tiebreaker (H2H sweep).  Still, they seem like a much better squadron than Dingleberry’s bunch.

The game of the day?  I saw maybe 4 plays of it.  Home Ratbirds went up 9-zip, but Tucker missed the extra point.  Ruh roh, it would be a harbinger.  He’d miss two more FGs later in the game, and they’d lose to the Iggles, 24-19.  Before nodding off, I heard the Greatest Living American mention that Piniero was the all-time FG accuracy leader, at 89.7%, with Tucker just behind at 89.3%.  Life came at them both fast today, in the same window.

Snow game in WNY?  Fuck and yes, especially after Big Nap Energy.  One team looked like they were having the time of their lives, the other…looked like they were from California.  Tomsulas not quite dead at 5-7, but pretty damned close. Bills Mafia roll, 35-10.  You ain’t seen nuttin!