Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome back once again to this thing we have going on here. It’s the second day of December, is your tree up yet? We’ve got a pretend one that is a beast and assembling/decorating it is a two day affair. Fun! Wifey stopped asking asking me for help a few years ago. I married her because she was so smart! Off we go…

Minutiae:

-Injury Report: Hey McCaffrey, here’s your hat, why are you leaving? I’ve not seen anything but sketchy reports about the injury and plenty of talk about shutting him down for the year. Update: He’s been placed on IR. At 28, his window as an effective, featured back is fast coming to a close. But thank god you picked up Jordan Mason. Umm, I’ve got some bad news there as well.

-Trevor Lawrence is another dude that we’ll likely not see again this year if smart minds prevail. Hey, at least Aziz Anzari apologized for the hit.

-Taysom Hill is also done, just two weeks removed from an awesome outing when he was on everyone’s bench. Prediction: The sports media’s stories about the future 35 year-old’s laborious yet heroic comeback will make you want to throw up. Also! He’ll contribute nothing next year.

-Jets In Disarray-Part The Nth: Oh, how The Immunized have fallen-Interim Deer in the Headlights Ulbrich was forced to say to the media that Rodgers would be the starter next week because his play was so shitty. Piling on some more, the Jets committed 12 penalties including eight in the 4th quarter yesterday.

-For Those That Have Given up the Ghost: The current draft order for 2025 is Jags, Raiders, Giants, Pats and Panthers.

To The Game!

Browns/Broncos:

-Hooked on BoNix: Denver’s rook qb has 6 INT’s total but has just one in his last 5 games. This progress reeks of a coachable kid that does his homework and pays attention in the film room.

Juedy in Disguise: (timely reference, huh?) He’s currently playing the part of a not-bust. He’s averaging nearly 100 yards per game since Winston became a starter. Weird.

-Denver is currently sitting in the very last playoff spot.

-The Browns only wins this season…[squints at screen] Huh. Wow. The Browns only wins this year are vs the Steelers and Ravens.

-Cleveland doesn’t travel well as you may have suspected-they’re 4-14 in Denver.

-“The Whipping Boy is Back!”: Kadarius Toney has been elevated from the practice squad because there were no developmentally- challenged feces floating in the toilet bowl at club headquarters.

Have at it.