Seems like it’s been forever since I posted a thingy on a Saturday-maybe a year ago? Who knows? Anyhoo, the pre-Sunday NFL tilts are starting up so here we are. Hippo kindly agreed that we’d split the difference today and I’d like to thank the ungulated one and Litre and Don T for pitching in while family stuff needed to be covered off. Is it still ongoing? Why yes it is.
To The Games!
Clemson/Texas:
-It’s the God Botherers vs the Shittiest Large State In The Union! (* “Hey, what about us?-Florida)
-Texas can beat any team in the nation on any day of the week-except Georgia.
-It’s fitting that a state that has water shortage issues has a football team that had such a long dry spell from 2010-2022, averaging a mere (for them) 7 wins a year during that time.
-ESPN tells me that Texas has the finest linebacker corps in the nation. They’re first in least amount of yards allowed per play so maybe there’s some meat on that proclamation.
-Look for some downfield action against Clemson-they allow a big play (20+ yards) on 7.7% of defensive plays.
Teabagging Tennessee/”A” Ohio State Football Program:
-Not Bad: These institutions have 14 national champeenships between them. (Peyton didn’t have any though)
-The winner of this gets the Ducks and then has to win two more to get another title.
-Is Dylan Sampson a good rb with an NFL future ahead of him? I’ve no clue but the kid has racked up 1400+ yards on the ground and 22 TD’s.
-The Vols qb situation seems a bit wonky-Nico “No Vowels Left Behind” Iamaleava has the lowest QBR rating of any guy at his position among the teams in the playoff. He might be in for a long evening because OSU’s sack rate is 3rd overall and their pressure rate is 4th.
Steelers/Ravens:
-Pitt’s D is rock solid so why is the DC Teryl Austin getting no national shine whatsoever?
-As you may have expected, the last nine games between these teams has been decided by one score.
-Lamar has had some issues vs good teams and the Steelers are among them-he’s 1-4 against them.
-Is it just me or should this game be played on the last Monday night of the regular season every year?
-Tomlin and Harbaugh have faced one another 37 times. This only happens when two in-division teams are well-built, well-run and exist on a solid foundation, something I know nothing about.
-If you’re a Yinzer and running late, no worries. Pitt is a very slow starter averaging just 3.4 points in the first quarter. You didn’t miss anything.
I did the games out of order. Changing it would require a few keystrokes, something I’m just not up to. Enjoy the tilts.
Texter (yes, it does happen!) admits to having warrants, his truck isn’t registered, he’s too intoxicated to drive by his own admission. Police discover coke in the vehicle.
Let it not be said this guy is honest. He’s an idiot, but he’s a honest and somewhat safe idiot.
Mikey Madison joins Richard Pryor as someone whose career benefited from them being set on fire.
I finally saw Megalopolis and Anora.
Megalopolis was better.
On el tren de cuidad. Wasted, I have a slice of za
Did nae fight anyone. Win. Ate a lot of chocolate cookies upon my return
Think I just had one of those urinations where you still feel good about it ten minutes after.
I’ve had poops like that…
(balls’ toilet remembers)
Oh yeah.
I’ve got the spirit of Christmas running all up inside off me.
I had an amazing time.
Good day.
GOOD day.
That, and the handle of Captain Morgan.
The Skull Session wasn’t a sellout?! I can remember when fans went to tailgate without tickets to the game.
The program has lost their fans.
Let’s the shaming and receipt saving begin…
Ohio State gets overconfident.
Ohio State shits the bed against Michigan.
Ohio State destroys Tennessee.
Ohio State gets overconfident.
Bet according.
My colleague seated next to me tonight is a Penn State alum. He says whoever wins Nike U/Redshirts Fightin’ Tree Nuts wins the whole thing.
Ryan Day will still be fired.
They won’t pull the trigger. They’ll pull the “Our recruits were still good” card and then wonder why they’re not breaking 100,000 to see Ohio State struggle against Grambling.
Because that whole “2024 National Champions” really doesn’t mean anything.
Watching the dog show WKC. At best in show now.
thats Rocking
Pug.
/Alfred Hitchcock voice
Good evening
Don’t go harassing Tippy Hedrin
I was just trying to think of how to phrase a joke for this. Kudos!
He did love his blondes.
They just had a little discussion about how hard Ryan Day’s life is these days. He’s getting paid enough that he can suck it up and deal with it.
The man is the Head Coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes football team.
That’s not exactly the Hard Knock Life the orphans were talking about in Annie.
Oliver Twist is looking longingly at the unlimited cafeteria gruel and Uncrustables that Ryan Day routinely spurns in favor of actual food
In honor of Morticia Addams, I can forgive the poor coaching, I can forgive the underperforming, but seriously, scarlet on scarlet?
If you watch the movie “12 Monkeys “ closely you’ll see that there are only 11 monkeys.
Discuss.
The 12th is behind the camera, duh
Or it’s the viewer
Seriously.
I ask “What the fuck” at least 20x per day
and I get no answer
well
fuck it
The answer is, it’s rhetorical. Its less a question and more of an expression.
I don’t get it! what the fuckare you telling me to do
Houses burn faster nowadays due to all the synthetics, good to know that at least 2/3rds of my furniture isn’t super deathtrappy though!
https://vimeo.com/463653907
For all the skipping around like dip shits OSU isn’t blowing Tenn out. If Tenn scores quick to cut it to 21-17, its gonna get good.
One martini is perfect.
Two martinis is too many.
Three martinis is NOT ENOUGH.
– James Thurber
I’m in Vegas to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Gonna sit with the boys to give them some motivation.
Dude Vegas is a hell of a spot for a game.
Pls take care of Kakko
That sound you hear is the sphincters of the Scarlett and Gray clad fans clinching shut.
The British and the Confederates?
Okay, so Will Howard is still Will Howard.
Sup
Hey.
I would make a Burrowhead joke here, but unlike Tennessee here at Neyland North, the Bengals actually showed up for that playoff game against the Chiefs.
WHERE WAS THIS TEAM FOR THE MICHIGAN GAME?!
This is turning into an epic ass-kicking, isn’t it?
https://ibb.co/GdGx27z
How did Tennessee make the playoffs again?
SEC SEC SEC