Everything in this Timeline remains very stupid, and even MOAR terrible.
There, you are all caught up on the week’s current events.
Loads of footy to maybe watch, starting with “Classic Six Pointer” (for Shempions qualification) between City of Men and the Robins Hood (7:30, USA). Various tepid offerings continue straight through until the closer, NO LONGER Disappointing Everton away to Wolves (3:00, Peacock). Hopefully, I get my depression nap time juuuussssstttt right.
Various and sundry free agency and pre-Draft shenanigans abound in the NFL sphere, which serve to remind one just how much we miss FITBAW, and will for almost 6 more months.
Jackie feeding the baybees
https://youtu.be/ZiuA-E_8Y-4?si=rCDvychXQm69BDWR
The Tarantino thing is actually in a speigeltente. It’s cool as fuck.
It’s hard keeping up with these new pasta shapes, tbh…
Eli nods with a bowl of Spaghettios in his lap
“Now even Armstrong Garden Centers are making jokes about my sex life, that’s great, that’s really great.” – Deanna Favre, opening her mail
Timothee Chalamet is the name of a guy that was loaned from Lyon down to Ligue 2’s Guincamp.
“Seton Hall” sounds like it would have originally been a dormitory at a women’s college, doesn’t it?
Seton Hall is 2-17 within the conference. It’s incomprehensible that one of those wins came against the team that is currently beating them 61-26.
Also hats off to the parents who named their kid “Solo Ball” and then made sure he played basketball.
70-32 now.
Semen Hall
Dad: “Redshirt, can you turn on the 1982 Super Bowl on YouTube?”
Me: “Aren’t you suffering enough already?”
.
.
So the last two times the Seahawks have traded away their starting QB, they have done it the same day as I receive my season ticket renewal. Coincidence? I think not!
/puts on foil hat
Aaron Rodgers will be the next Seahawks QB, in this essay I will…
Jackie and Shadow welcome eagle baby #3!
Amazing! I spent so much time last year watching them and all they got was two duds that became squirrel food.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!
[slaps Jackie and Shadow on the ass, but only metaphorically because eagles don’t have asses]
/looking at all-time coaching wins in college basketball
-Adolph Rupp had 2(!) double-digit loss seasons in 41 year.
-Cliff Ellis (Tennessee) is #11 in wins? (obviously finished higher when he retired)
-Bob Huggins seems to have stalled at 863 wins. Wonder why?
Cliff Ellis was mostly Clemson IIRC
You are correct-I’ve got him mixed up with Ray Mears somehow.
Probably broke down somewhere well out-of-state and facing a long tow to a service station.
(also, he’s drunk)
/pulls over a car that has 25 beer cans tied to a rope attached to the rear bumper that was weaving in and out of traffic
Cop: “Look, I know it’s your wedding day, wait…Bob?”
Huggins: [head is resting on the steering wheel] “I was going for the record.”
Cop: “Jesus Christ! Why didn’t you say so? My shithead brother-in-law did 28. WE CAN DO THIS!”
Huggins: [throws up in his lap]
Cop: “Ok, bit of a setback. Wash your mouth out with a light beer. We won’t count that against your total though. Rules are rules..”
And a pill popper!!
I was renewing my meds on my phone and for some goddamn reason the nurse said I needed to come in for blood work when I was just fucking there in August.
So here I fucking am.
Masked up and reading my book waiting at a jam packed lab to get a blood draw on Saturday morning.
Great communication guys.
At least I’ll get this shit out of the way before vacation season.
You know you can get that shit taken care of at home, right?
https://www.getlabs.com/
Dude, I have Kaiser.
You pay for that on top of whatever you copay is. They are verrra coy about what they charge, depends on date distance. The only thing on the websitethat mentions price says it starts at 35 dollars.
Some sick bastard is in here sneezing his head off and everyone is slowly moving away.
Quick sneak preview of Hell.
Did anyone bother to bring/wear masks while visiting a healthcare facility at the tail end of flu/COVID season? Or are you surrounded by REAL MEN only?
I wore the fuck out of mine but it was probably 33% masked.
That’s honestly better than I’d have expected.
Murdering the ceo of your health insurer is the purest form of customer feedback.
And United Healthcare welcomes your feedback about their services.
How funny would it be if running that company became like being a Roman emperor and you were under constant threat of assassination every single day of your tenure?
“And United Healthcare welcomes your feedback about their services.”
Uh, not really. They got reeeal sensitive about that kinda thing
“A Florida woman has been arrested and charged after allegedly using the same language associated with the suspect in the murder of a top health insurance executive while on a phone call with her healthcare firm.Briana Boston, 42, had just had a medical claim denied and was talking on a phone call with a representative from Blue Cross Blue Shield. The Lakeland resident then allegedly said: “Delay, deny, depose. You people are next.”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/dec/13/florida-woman-health-insurance-threat
We did something?! WE DID SOMETHING!!!
I like that guy-I think he’s been properly deployed in only three of the seven seasons he’s played and when he has he’s delivered.
Rick fucking Pitino is going to take another team to the Final Four, isn’t he?
at least he’ll shoot his wad quick-like
Nope. St. John’s will crash out early. They can’t shoot from 3, like at all.
We swapped Rick Pitino and Thibs. Let’s see who in New York noticed!
/Rest up JB
Pepe LePew was offside, saving Litre’s weekend.
(or maybe not)
I hate everything
BROTHER!!!!
Brighton Hove would be doing great if they weren’t jumping offsides more than the Cowboys’ offensive line on crucial 3rd and shorts.
THIS GUY IWOBI I CALL HIM ANDY REID’S SON, BECAUSE HE’S SPEEDING DOWN THE SIDELINE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT!!!
Paging Crime beat. Another KC wr got arrested last night.
The Chiefs are “concerned” and are “monitoring the situation” but since Xavier Worthy is “good” and “an asset to the team” they won’t “actually do anything.”
Needs MOAR Andy Reid “fat jolly Dad” arm around shoulder obvs
COACH REID: [sighing sadly] This player was like a son to me.
MISSOURI GOVERNOR: One pardon, coming up!
Looks like Xavier had to choke a bitch.
Iwobi is so damn good.
For you punks out there:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS7rghrHnZQ
That gives me an idea for an increasingly thin field of Request Line topics. Thank you!
Songs with Girls on toilets?
too risky to have Big Ben barge in here
I can only think of one other one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMJKQFn4COA
Also have large men running into each other before the next window. Allez les verts!
This has been a dire start.
(it got better)
Then it didnt.
The corpse has been rotting a good while already…but today is the City of Men funeral.
Fun!
https://streamff.com/v/1c8f679f
Hippo is REALLY mad at y’all for not taking this easy opportunity to win the League
I need to obtain a new flag under nefarious circumstances, that much is clear.
Inshallah, so it is written and so it shall be done
Also because fuck Liverpool.
/It’s all that really matters because they’re owned by the Red Sox
//And double fuck the Penguins too.
Those cuntrockets winning the League without any real opposition is bad enough. But this year’s squadron isn’t even any fucking good.