As expected from all NFL journalists, DFO ground tape and concurs with the top analysts: this draft class underwhelms. Except Travis Hunter. There are so many astounding highlights of Hunter playing against kids. And, call me subjective, but Cameron Ward is a worthy #1 pick, franchise QB DNA through and through. It’s beyond argument; ask any teen Media Studies major who played against him. When does the Draft start anyway?
NFL NEWS
-The Texans and Browns hog the pre-Draft spotlight with a trifling trade:
-WR Tyler Lockett signs with the Titans
Sufficed to say, I’m clearing shelf space for the 2026 Lombardeee, right next to my bootleg TEN helmet I bought in Ciudad México.
SPORTS HAPPENINGS TONIGHT
All times Central
Stanley Cup Playoffs
Round 1
Vegas @ MinnesoUta (1-1) : 8:00
Winnipeg @ St. Louis (2-0) : 8:00
nba playoffs
Indiana @ Milwaukee (2-0) : 7:00
Lakers @ MinnesoUta (1-1) : 8:30
Top Flight Fútbol
Uf. All over this hemisphere.
Enjoy the first round. Man… I wanna go out tonight.
Kiper only mentioned Sanders eight times in his review of the draft on ESPN’s front page.
Some Yinzer was so excited for the Stillers drafting the next Casey Hampton that he decided to all Ray Lewis on others at the Draft party.
Totally forgot about the draft, who’s done the stupidest thing so far?
The Falcons. Although the Giants were a close second.
Good evening people. I just can’t get into the draft thing. Guess I’m just not fully committed. But it does look like you all had a great time so that’s really cool. Not looking forward to flying commercial tomorrow but, here we go, look out below.
All right, until tomorrow you Princes of Maine, you Kings of New England.
Let’s all gather around and see if the Saints get Sanders in the second round.
the last time a jihad came to the eagles some giants fell in new york, some commanders got hit in the pentagon, and a bunch of cowboys got mad af
Just checked out Bengals Reddit and its going to a dark place in response to the Bengals 1st Round Selection. I’m kind of tempted to look up the DFO Thread of Burrow blowing out his knee to bring myself out of the darkness.
“Mel, what do the Chiefs need?”
Social workers, and a lot of them.
https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1915609900790505591
Oh we gunna have a Jihad bullee dat.
definitely a BOOOOOM or bust pick
Not one but two shoulder surgeries?
That’s a double boxcars roll of the dice right there, but the Eagles can do that.
LOLgles
Jihad in Philly, thanks Obummer.
Wilson Goode and the Philadelphia Air Force will take care of that.
Mina Kimes is extremely upset that Philadelphia is likely to get a LB named Jihaad Campbell, so I guess congratulations to all our Clubhouse Birds fans on the Super Bowl repeat this season.
Pretty sure Chefs take the last starter-ish LT (the tOSU guy)
They should probably draft a designated driver
Or the Angels’ pill guy!
high risk of being drone striked by the IDF
who ya want here, Litre?
Edge to replace Sweat
In case you were wondering why I left the Church, God gave this kid a debilitating neuromuscular disorder and made him a Bills fan.
/Jim Kelly drops jaw again
.
Shiny jacket to the Bills, yay! He’s stayed upbeat all night.
It’s like if Magnitude from Community was a footballer!
Pop pop!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2vup9sm_ls
What channel is Mel Kiper on. I wanna see the meltdown.
ESPN.
Oh my, I thought he said Timmy.
I am howling my way straight to hell.
Alright, had to go away due to Caretaking Duties. ALS can suck the fattest part of my ass.
Bengals reaction: Unfinished Product, but by the looks of it there was a run at DL so they got the last one. Potential is there, but they need it to be realized quickly.
Anything else I missed?
Bengals traded up to get Sanders.
Ha, yeah like the Bengals would be stupid enough… (frantically runs to computer to check draft selections)
Chefs gonna take Shedboy to piss off Brittany Mahomes.
am going to hate watch from bed. Been fun, folks
Booger and Louis are using a lot of words for “this guy plays pretty well for a guy so fat he’ll likely die of a massive coronary event before he finishes his rookie contract”
a michigan man goes to cleveland and the ohio st guy goes to the lions
The Lions draft room is a lot cleaner than I thought it would be.
Starks’ look might be my favorite of the night so far.
I know dickall about fashion, so this might be an insult.
Just once, it’d be funny if a pick would finger Ginger Hammer’s butthole a bit.
Give him the ole Urban Meyer
sponsored by Icey Hot
Rammit are the only remaining Team might want a QB. The remaining teams should be shaking down the Browns/Saints/Raiders/Seahawks to move up and take Sanders.
RAMMMMMIT don’t pick til 46 now. And there’s no way they’re taking Shady, not with 2 first rounders next year. Shadeur might just be the Browns’ 6th round pick.
LOL FALCONS TRADED A ’26 FIRST
My God the stupidity
especially when that is, what, 50/50 to be Top 10??
Oh McVay gonna get lots of toys next year. And a Stafford replacement!
Are you kidding?
He’s gonna draft Sanders in the 3rd round at this rate.
more like 99/1 if they dont win the division, nfc south dumpster forever!
Just incredible
A 2d and a future 1st for a late round 1st. I’m dumbstruck.
For that guy?
Jesus wept.
The new york press is gonna make this Dart kid cry by preseason.
RAMMMMIT traded back, I love it.
tommy cutlets
Russell Wilson, Jameis Winston, Jaxon Dart, Tommy DeVito
YOUR 2025 VERTICALLY ENHANCED PERSONS QUARTERBACKS, LADYS AND GERMS
“The Giants have traded Tommy DeVito to the Steelers for a 2049 25th round pick”
Jackson dart Dad massacring all the younglings at his party
Atlanta taking Sanders?!?!
Deion played there…
lol FOUR qbs now on the payroll lol gints
They’s gon’ trade Charmslinger back to PIT!
Hush, you!
GIVE US A LIVE SHOT OF DEION GOD DAMMIT!
something like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9mJ82x_l-E
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(breathes)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That’ll do, Giants.
Smart move by the Giants, trading with the Texans. Can’t actually lose a future pick to a pretend team.
that Dart kid REALLY no look like a professional athlete
his name no look like an actual human
methinks he Mormon so we both rite??
OMG Giants.
LOLOLOLOLOL
lol Giants about to do something stupid BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
Shaduer’s going to end up in New York.
Here come the Giants and Sanders!!
We go live to Northern Ontario, where hobos are fleeing in droves…
Oh my god they’re taking Dart.
This Kiper reaction is going to be epic.
Gotta be JASCKXXSON
Kiper calling frantically to form ownership group to buy the Giants just to draft Shedeur
this…THIS is why we’ve stayed awake
Painfully White kid in a 69 jersey, grabbing at his crotch on national teevee. Ladies and gentlemen, MURRIKA
Last time there were this many white losers in one place was in early 2021. First week in January I believe.
I was hoping Dallas and Jerry Jones would trade back into the first round to grab Golden.
I was also shitting in the other hand.
Hey, guess which one filled up first?
Dammit, so many teams are doing good things. That’s a very good pick by the LOL COMMMUNITY-OWNED Packers.
BOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iqLhdInGrk
Wrap it up, Packer dick.
-Jenn Sterger