Your Sloppy First Slate

As promised, I’m completely hungover and this intro will be trash. The teams on bye are Browns, Jets, (excellent combo!) Eagles and Bucs.

To The Games!

Bears/Bengals:

Maybe stream rook tight end Loveland in this spot? Cincy’s D is a known trashterpiece that gives up more yards to that position than any other team. As well, the Bears other receivers are banged up.

Vikes/Lions:

J.J has been around the league for a season and a half and still nobody knows just what he is. Will Aidan Hutchison’s balance be affected by the huge billfold in his back pocket? Detroit should roll here.

Panthers/Packers:

My sneaky pick for a wild card is coming back to earth. Hard. But if the defense plays up to their potential this could be a low-scoring tussle.

Chargers/Titans:

Los Angeles gets a get well game in Tennessee but the former’s play has been quite uneven though injuries have played a part.

Niners/Giants:

Perna feels that another New York player is going down with an injury-gotta be Dart, right? I mean he just visited a kid’s hospital so he’s got positive karma out the ying yang right now.

Falcons/Pats:

Which Atlanta team will show up? The one that beat the Bills handily or the one that rolled over against the Fins? Give the frickin’ ball to your backfield! Unfortunately New England has been firing on all cylinders, winning five straight.

Colts/Steelers:

Indy is favored by 3.5 and scoring at a 32.9 clip on average. Pitt’s D is still a work in progress and they just seem to lack team speed. Looks like a walk in the park for the Colts unless they run into some voodoo.

Broncos/Texans:

At a glance these offenses look like they’re overmatched so perhaps take the under of 39.5?

One post down-two more to go [sighs]