Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Don’t run with scissors [in bed]
If your bed is big enough to run in, then go ahead.
So, played in a charity lacrosse tournament on Saturday. Lots of fun and too many games in way to short of a time. But, was playing with a few retired pro’s and all-stars, so people that even now are still crazy good, which is kinda cool. With the rules being no-contact, there was nothing you could really do on defense to prevent these folks from scoring. So, while it was super annoying to get scored on, it was amazing to see what they can do with ball and the control they have. It wasn’t even like “Pro’s vs Joe’s”, it was more like “Pro’s vs toddlers”. We lost 6-5 in the finals.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Here is a sad lesson I’ve learned about fantasy football: It doesn’t matter how your team is doing, even if everybody has a good game. If your opponent has 1
( one) guy who has a career- best game, you are totally screwed. Last week it was that running back from Indy who did me in, this week it was Brokeback. Shit.
Gumbygirl
Watching Josh Allen highlights is like watching that episode of The Simpsons when Homer coaches the football team and Nelson is doing all the work. I’m just waiting for Allen to grab a teammate and use him as a human shield like Nelson did with Milhouse.
Unsurprised
Sharkbait
THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM ONE OF THE GIRLS ASSIGNED TO DONALD TRUMP AT ONE OF HIS GOOD FRIEND JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S PARTIES BECAUSE I AM CRYING AND BEGGING FOR THEM TO “JUST GET THIS OVER WITH, PLEASE.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Ciao tutti. Still on an internet break but I do check the GTD Cliff notes weekly to stay updated.
Be well.
Proof of life is provided here.
2Pack
Redshirt
The gentleman in the hospital bed next to me has told several folks that he lost a testicle in the Vietnam War.
/ I’m dying to ask him if it was his own
scotchnaut
The more you monitor your FF lineup, the more it crashes and burns…
BeefReeferLives
and somehow if you cover one of the slots, the result is the same.
WTF
/pushes glasses up nose
Game Time Decision
“Cover one of the slots? Pfft. Nuts to that.” – Raiders defensive coordinator
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
There seems to be a disconnect between Zac Taylor’s coaching style and the fans’ preferred method:
Redshirt
There’s more to our defense struggling than poor tackling, such as: poor game planning
bad coaching
lack of faith in player abilities
lack of player abilities
nausea
allergic reaction to ingredients in football
failure to make adjustments in-game
death
the Epstein files
space aliens
magnets
LemonJello
My middle son just got accepted into the bio program at Iowa.
jjfozz
In future news…
Redshirt
THESE BILLS I CALL THEM THE CYCLOPS BECAUSE THEY JUST GOT BEAT UP BY NOBODY
Doktor Zymm
Ref with the curveball penalty. Nicely done!
scotchnaut
THIS GAME LEMME TELL YA I CALL IT A LINDSAY GRAHAM DAYDREAM BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY SACKS
fleshwound_NPG
So your wife fell and hurt her knee. Knowing she is a high level drama queen and hypochondriac, here are the answers in your brain when she’s complaining.
“I can’t believe you played D1 lacrosse, you’re acting like a complete punk.”
“So? It hurts. Ice up son.”
“Just walk it off, you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Turns out none of these responses will work, cause I said all three.
jjfozz
last time a chubb injured someone like that nina hartley was out for two weeks (lower body injury)
fleshwound_NPG
She plays hurt though. Wanks Walks it off.
litre_cola
It’s admirable how well she can take a pounding and then bounce back
Sharkbait
Real team player, great in the room.
litre_cola
Known for her three technique.
LemonJello
solid receiver, great at deep balls
fleshwound_NPG
Can really work the double team.
LemonJello
Sucks it up, never complains.
WCS
Will bend over backward to accomodate the team.
jjfozz
She’s always been a standout in the backfield.
jjfozz
Is not afraid to get down and dirty, the real nitty-gritty to get things done.
WCS
She’s been known to give a licking herself too
Sharkbait
Great senior presence in the locker room
BrettFavresColonoscopy
This one is is good BFC
litre_cola
Always opening up the holes
jjfozz
This whole thread best make GTD’s comments of the week or else we….
…sit around and do nothing
WCS
“Fozz, you need a follow up shingles injection.”
“Oh, well will it make me tired, feel like shit, and I’ll wake up 3 in the morning shivering so hard that I can barely get out of bed? And the next day, will I feel like Ray Lewis used me as a tackling dummy.”
Silence.
Fuck my doctor for not telling me.
jjfozz
Found a funny:
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
rockingdog
There’s nothing quite like having your already-injured thumb whacked by the business end of a rat trap (thankfully just whacked and not pinned) while your cat looks on curiously and proceeds to ignore you completely as you attempt to lecture her that this wouldn’t have happened if she would just DO HER FUCKING JOB.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
62 years ago, we lost a president and a Kennedy.
I’d settle for either today [Nov 22].
SonOfSpam
IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED
20 months at 9-1-1, and I finally have a call for a literal dumpster fire!
I can’t say I was specifically waiting for this to happen, but it has crossed me mind a few times. Now, I need a call for a burning couch after WVU wins a noteworthy contest and/or celebrating Pitt losing a noteworthy contest.
Mark it off the BINGO card!
WCS
Whu isn’t there a University of Satan? And what would their TV ratings look like?
King Hippo
University of
Satan,
California
What did you think it stood for?
SonOfSpam
litre_cola
Took a cooking course in Mexico last week with BC Dick. I just recreated the birria stew we made. I have never made it better, money well spent on the course. Guy toured a locals market with us, brought us back to his pad, we helped him cook, his wife made tortillas, brilliant experience.
litre_cola
That will pay us back many times over. Highlight of the trip. Along with deci eating crickets from a street cart.
BC Dick
Still, it could be worse, I guess…
Redshirt
I think I’m just about happy with my brown liquor bar setup
Doktor Zymm
Going to love listening to Philly Sport radio tonight.
Spur
POV: nick sirianni
fleshwound_NPG
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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I made a huge mistake moving to this state.
It’s just a state of mind, right?
one Month until Christmas, so 29 days before you need to start your shopping.
/gas station shopping
62 years ago, we lost a president and a Kennedy.
I’d settle for either today [Nov 22].
SonOfSpam
Instead we got Caroline Kennedy’s daughter announcing she had a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Yeah, just the worst. Bad things should only happen to bad people, but for some reason the Karma Machine is on the fritz.
Man, I knew Dick Cheney’s death was going to be overlooked, but even I didn’t think it would be THIS overlooked. It’s like it never even happened, which seems like the kind of thing a Sith Lord would WANT us to think.
Dude lived for like 25 years with no heart. Not like, no heart-as-a-metaphor-for-compassion, he actually did not have a working heart. And he lived longer than Len Bias. So his death was celebrated like Kissinger. Sure, they died, but not nearly soon enough.
Of course not. But he *did* die. So let’s drink and be merry!
EDIT: It would have been wonderful if Cheney died 20 years ago. But he didn’t, so the next best thing is that he lived long enough to watch the face-eating leopards of conservatism that he lovingly nurtured over his time in government turn around and eat his very own family member’s face.
! It’s that time of year when the sun angle is right and it works as a natural toilet seat warmer! Hot buns!
One a penny, two a penny!
Thankfully, the elder abuse/neglect call I just had turned out to be nothing.
First one of these I’ve had. Glad it had the result it did.
For some reason, it just dawned on me that current Bungles head coach, and current bane of Redshirt’s existence, Zac Taylor, was Nebraska’s quarterback 20 years ago. He was the guy Bill Callahan thought would turn the Cornhuskers into the Flyover States JV equivalent of Rich Gannon.
Suddenly, everything makes so much more sense!
Thank you for the recap GTD, we appreciate the hustle.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Sorry I forgot the proof of life Pic…
And a happy Thanksgiving to you and the family my friend.
Grazie tanto Amico!
Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your tacchino!