Tank Talk – Tuesday Open Thread

‘Noches… The Reverend is off tonight. In substitution, I’m gonna talk about two things close to my heart. First, cholesterol. We are now aware #Awareness

The second is the 1-10 Tennessee Titans,

, and tanking for the #1 pick.

If the season is lost by Week 13, a lousy team might as well earn the #1 pick by maximizing incompetence. The #1 pick is a Big Deal. Trading away the #1 pick for a proven NFL player, or picks, or both could yield an instant mini-rebuild. All it takes is a sustained hype blitz about a single college player for #1, and maybe that player behaving suck-uppy professionally in meetings with interested NFL teams. Playing against cellar colleagues, like The Pauls or the Saints in Weeks 15-17, are opportunities for that precious loss that gets your team to #1. It’s logical.

Brain: Losing now is a strategy for long-term success DUH

All other cells in my body:

Can’t abide the tankin’ lifestyle. I would rather be a bandwagon fan than a team season completist when my team has nothing good to show and the derpness gets deliberate. If I want consistent emotional disappointment year after year, I’ll marry hastily—NO, gracias.

If you watch your team play and hope for a loss, I won’t judge. I’m hella sympathetic, in fact: every spring and summer are reminders that lousy fitbaw is better than no fitbaw. Airtight logic; but as with most human dynamics, a good outcome requires setting logic aside.

Unlike life, which is cumulative until you die, all pro fitbaw teams get a yearly reset. The term is a season and games are the units—with every team starting 0-0-O. Every year college players, on the cheap, are for the taking. Plus draft order (leg-up for losing teams), the Lee’s socialist salary cap, and collective-farming TV deal dough make a fertile petri dish for fan hope. All our shitty team needs to do is hit with a coupla prospects. Which is calming, when rookie play is imaginary and daydreamy during the offseason. The system is geared to stop bad teams from becoming pathetic. As long as fan commitment is proportional to emotional retar– SPECIALNESS, we’re hooked. I fear.

All I want, as a fan, is to see my team not be a complete fucking embarrassment. Some fans can’t accept anything less than a championship each season. I admire your spirit. Take heart; the Pats and Iggles became juggernauts AND champions. For me, I’ll take the Dan Campbell Lions as inspiration. Brave / reckless coaching to win, decent eye talent at GM, give every opponent a tough game. Who would’ve thunk it: each year DET has a chance at winning it all, injuries permitting.

NEWS

(from the House Organ .com, an espen partner, no link)

-Panthers S Tre’von Moehring was suspended one game for cockpunching. Recreation at 1:09

That movie was not THAT bad. I’d may even watch it again, but first gotta find the right weed strain.

-Bills sign WR Brandin Cooks. My only explanation is market manipulation of the “Rostered” % in 16-team Yahoo Fantasy leagues.

-Saints worked out K Justin Tucker, signed Cade York instead. Catholic decision-making at its finest.

-For the 3-8 Bengals, Joe Burrow “will return to the field Thursday night against the Ravens for the first time since he suffered a toe injury in Week 2”.

No tanking in Cincy. Good for them, good for us looking for escapism after a holiday dinner.

SPROTS TO MIGHT (from espen)

Check local listing for time. This daylight savings time of youse got my computer and cellphone all inaccurate.

NHL

Dallas @ Edmonton – 10:00 laptop

TRAVELING 3s

Hawks @ Whiz – 8:00 laptop

Magic @ Sixers – 9:00 laptop

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

Colombia

 Independiente Santa Fe v. Deportes Tolima – 8:30 laptop

FINALLY,

The Titans ain’t tanking on purpose, yet. The players haven’t quit and the offensive playcalling has gotten less cowardly in the last two games. And, this year, TEN finally got consistently good special teams—and a bona fide returner in rookie Chimere Dike, the first dependable-to-fantastic K/P returner since Pacman Jones during that coupla years way back. Dike is the current leader in all-purpose yards, which is definitely a thing BAYBEH!

Mood: fine

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