The Swollen Belly Bowl

Am I referring to the commentariat or fans of both squadrons? Perhaps a small girl that likes to answer a question with a question should weigh in. If you do resemble that remark feel free to undo that belt, er, pyjama string and let loose.

Have I ever told you about how I discovered 1.) U.S. Thanksgiving, and B.) NFL football? I have? Doesn’t matter. [puts thumbs under suspenders, sits back in beanbag chair] I was a young feller of 8 or 9 maybe and I was sick on a school day. Being a latchkey kind of kid I was dumped on the sofa in front of the TV and was told not to throw up on the shag carpet. I expected to be bored by The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal but lo and behold a Lions game came on. I was so happy to see something other than Bob Barker I was sold! Now you know the rest of the story.

To The Game!

Bengals/Ravens:

-Rust Never Sleeps: But sometimes it has an annoying toe injury. Just how sharp is Joe going to be today? Perhaps he leans on the running game a bit more than usual. If I’m not mistaken Chase Brown has only two 100 yard outings so far this year.

-Good Lord!: In two games vs Baltimore last year the Other Chase had 21 grabs, 457 yards and 5 TD’s. That’s a whole season for the likes of a [fill in white possession receiver here]!

-Ravens D Revving?: Their last 6 opponents have scored less than 20 points but take that with a pinch of cloves because that includes the Fins, Browns and Jets.

-There’s Another D Playing: Cincy’s defending unit has only once (once!) held the opposition to less than 26 points. Why are the linebackers and d-linemen not forming worker militias?

-King Henry needs a mere 18 yards to pass that 100 Rifles-starring, domestic abuse-loving and civil rights-advocating Jim Brown for 11th place all time on the rushing yards gained list.

Have another deviled egg on me. Just one more.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
178 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Going to Murano and Burano today. If it’s not outrageously expensive I might buy a Murano glass lighting fixture for my hallway in Chicago. (narrator: It will be outrageously expensive)

Ok, maybe just a wine glass

Last edited 3 months ago by Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury

You should still get it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

See if they’ll sell you a Nissan Murano

Doktor Zymm

Pistachio croissants seem to be a thing here and I love that, too much for first jetlag breakfast but will have one before the end of the trip for sure!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. would love those.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s normal for youtube to have ads, right? Because I’m like 20 songs deep (no exaggeration) and there has not been a single one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I probably should have called it a night when they put on Silverchair but I tolerated it and now it’s playing Nosferatu-era Billy Corgan and I’m calling it a night. I’m thankful for you all.

Bogdanski

Silverchair is definitely a reason to get the hell away from there

Doktor Zymm

I think only if the channel chooses to monetize? Or you have an ad blocker

WCS

Not using Brave browser, and this adblocker extension on Chrome (Chrome is mandatory here). Brave is a terrific browser in terms of ad blocking. Maybe consider trying it.
I also have AdGuard and uBlock as Chrome extensions.

Doktor Zymm

Good morning y’all!
Slept reasonably well for being jet lagged and ready for breakfast. What’s that? You’re still full from yesterday and asleep? Cool, cool. Have fun digesting and shopping, I’ll talk to y’all later!

Doktor Zymm

*Checks fantasy scores*
Holy shit, what the hell happened yesterday??

Mr. Ayo

Disaster! For me anyway. You might actually win this week.

You’re welcome.

Doktor Zymm

Even with Zay Flowers -0.4 points, lol
I won last week, now that I’m mathematically relegated anything can happen!

Bogdanski

I’m in Milwaukee for Thanksgiving but live in San Diego and the 2 hour difference has made my whole day really weird. I could not deal with wherever you are on the timeline. Have fun!

Doktor Zymm

This is probably the best I’ve done with Europe jetlag (hope I’m not speaking too soon). To Europe and back from Asia are the two worst adjustments

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URdsm83MK8c

…I finished my coffee already 🙁

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

billy corgan with long hair more like silly corgan amirite?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Keep workshopping the drunk standup routine

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

okaj you got it

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdMwneWwzEs

Neglected to bring my usual provisions due to the holiday, necessitating a search for appropriate coffee transportation containers. Didn’t go exactly as I planned, but this will do.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

the longer istay up tonight the better i will feel tomorrow wanen i get draggedout for udon

billy corgan can get fucked but siamese dream really was a masterpiece

jjfozz

cufcking grancberry sauce! all day ooglong! eat more cranberries your life wil chagne!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

yeahh maan

Gumbygirl

I almost went to bed and missed the bourblin’!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

i amlisten8ng to smashing pumpkins and yeah they rock

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2WJol1L4sA

I’m sure no one has a problem with Paul Hewson, right?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

i aint never met him but shore

jjfozz

Semi drunk, fuck Harbs adn every last fuckface ever associate diwh them himl them. eat shit all o f you and EDC can go suhove a fucking rust tine can up his butthole our qb i shurt, deal wtith it you cutnt heads

Redshirt

Bengals get the win, but only because the Ravens lost. Not sure if they were looking ahead to Pittsburgh or overlooking the Bengals, but those turnovers really killed you guys.

jjfozz

if you put a giant bag of shit against a lesser bag of shit, and all the shit bange dinto each other, the worse shit team would be shit, and we are shit, lots of shit i can’t beleive that we coudl be more shit, but we are shit . shit.

Unsurprised

I hope Chicago – Philly is good tomorrow. I feel gross writing that, though.

Beerguyrob

comment image

Redshirt

…and too all, a good night!

Redshirt

🦃

IMG_0079
Sharkbait

Totally not me wearing my WKRP turkey drop tshirt all day

WCS

My aunt was wearing one.

Redshirt

The entire team showed up for the turkey!

Redshirt

New strategy: If the Bengals win, the players get an on-field feast.

Beerguyrob

Mike Brown encourages this, so he doesn’t have to pay.

Gatoraids

but enough about Boomer

Redshirt

First Bengals Thanksgiving Day Win.

IMG_2559
Unsurprised

Congratulations.

Burrow needs a huge fucking raise. Or at least an offensive line.

Last edited 3 months ago by Unsurprised
Redshirt

He’ll be the first QB to restructure his contract to the League Minimum on the condition that all the freed-up money must be spend on the offensive line and the defense.

Beerguyrob

Dare we hope for an 8-9 division winner?

fleshwound_NPG

ravens schedule is brutal
stillers always fuck up at the end of the year
bengals could get 4 wins from here
lol browns

yes!

Redshirt

Oh, God, yes!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

Unsurprised

Either Cincinnati defense got really good or Baltimore has just given up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU STUPID CHIEFS! GET FUCKED! GOD BLESSES EVERYONE!

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt83arWRx-M

Another group from the San Francisco area, Quicksilver Messenger Service. The older brother of Huey Lewis & the News’ bass player, Mario Cipollina, is/was a member of Quicksilver. Mario will occasionally make an appearance for the Quicksilver Messager Service, Quicksilver Gold.

Gatoraids

That turkey looks like a bird burned even more than the Ravens in this game

Redshirt

Five turnovers?! What are we, Andy Reid’s pantry?!

Beerguyrob

Moar like one after the shame eating following the loss.

Gatoraids

moar Mark Andrews for the Garbage Time God

Redshirt

Uh oh…

Mr. Ayo

You’re fine. It’s not like the Bungles to screw this up.

Redshirt

Yeah, besides the other shit-tuns, when have they ever done that?

WCS
Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
Gatoraids

BE COOL OR BE CAST OUT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[is cast out]

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am so fucking full

Last edited 3 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Unsurprised

I could have a little more. But I’m a guest here

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[sighs discontentedly] – Deanna Favre