Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

I have the last 2 days of March off, as if I don’t take the days, I will loose them.  Been on a crazy project for the last year or so, so having a break is nice.  It’s also kinda nice here, aka just above freezing, so can start to do all the outside spring-y stuff.  Which reminds me that I still need to get the Christmas lights off the house as I ain’t going up on the roof when it’s snow covered. Thinking that I need to get those permanent lights for outside, but too cheap to get them installed. Maybe if I had Appleby’s money, I’d think about it more.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.


This was a great read Sir. Thank you for the hustle here.

2Pack


I don’t want a corner I want and edge rusher so now I’m watching you instead!

DJ TAJ


As I dropped off my girlfriend for her vacation, I said “well, I guess I’m back to my bachelor roots this week!”

Her: grimaces, imagines me hanging out in bars flirting with women
Me: imagines sitting on the couch watching sports, eating bad food, and posting on DFO
Dunstan


By divine or demonic intervention (both really), I’ve now made 48 trips around the sun today. To celebrate, I’m doing what we do every night Pinky…TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WOR…looks around
Nevermind. I don’t want it. I’ll work instead.
NotShogunButShogun


Daughter invited me and the missus to sit in on her Master’s dissertation yesterday. A couple of friends were invited as well. I didn’t know that was a thing, but it turned that her professors like it. I wanted to get some of those sticks with a picture of her head on it, or maybe bring a vuvuzela, but the missus put the kibosh on that.

I knew that Masters of Public Health is really all about statistics, but “Directed Acyclic Graph,” did surprise me. Daughter told me afterwards, “Ugh, hate those, but you have to have at least one in a presentation.”
BugEyedBoo


Would like to give you an insight into how sophisticated Leafs hatred is up here-

Everyone is rooting for the Leafs to finish bottom 6th or 7th in the league because of a 1st round draft pick they sent to the Bruins. If the Leafs finish as one of the five-worst teams in the league they get to keep the pick and surrender their #1 next year.
scotchnaut


As part of my farewell tour I checked in one last time (as an employee, I’m sure I’ll visit to shop there from time to time) at Aviano. My USAF counterparts treated me to lunch and gave me the T shirt. 555th Fighter Squadron F-16 to go along with my USMC 26th MEU shirt. Looks like I need to hit up the Navy down in Napoli to complete the set.

2Pack


My Scottish sister in law is brilliant, but she fits the bumbling genius stereotype. She and my othe SIL are in South Dakota, she’s interviewing at Dakota State for the president job. It’s a two day ordeal, she had to interview with the search committee, the deans and faculty, students, other staff, and a group of alumni. In her first meeting today, where she had to introduce herself to the whole group, she broke the lectern and spilled a bottle of water all over her dress. I fucking love her!
Gumbygirl



Don T

Way to make fun of someone’s Achilles Heel. Oh, no. I’m…. Please stop crying, Thetis.
Redshirt


$$$

Redshirt


Steve Kerr is the heart and soul of Arizona Alumni Community.

ASU has Kyle Rittenhouse.

blaxabbath


Come on Cougars!

/may be one of Balls AVN award videos
litre_cola


Orioles home opener
Mrs. Fozz lost her mind as we looked for a parking space
I drank a lot of beers and ate a bbq sandwich that would have brought Atlas to his knees
Kept drinking
Got yelled at
Now I’m home. still drinking.
jjfozz


Like a day early but now I can be ready with jokes for tomorrow night!
blaxabbath


The nice thing about Tiger Woods, he seems to only injure himself when he recklessly drives impaired
Doktor Zymm

Worst driver on the tour.
Mr. Ayo


I hate the offseason but it helps to keep busy.

Redshirt


What was the over/under on how long it would be before the Dr. Mrs. insisted on the “deep cleaning” of a house that was cleaned before we left and stayed uninhabited for the entire week? Because it clocked in at “48 hours”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


Back to looking for freelance writing gigs cause, you know, my son has to go to college.

Fuck higher education and the simpering greedheads who make it just about impossible for working parents to pay for school. Fuck them with a rusty axe handle.

Also, did I mention that they should be stuffed with live moray eels until their heads explode?
jjfozz


/wife took this week off so I checked in on her by text yesterday

Me: “Hey, what are you up to?”

Her: “I’m shaving.”

Me: “Oh my.”

Her: “The dogs, you idiot.”

Me: “Ahhh…”
scotchnaut


Finally had a Movie Night with Lil’ and Lil’er WCS that we’ve been trying to do for months. We all fell asleep within 30 minutes on the couch; just got them to bed, and collected meself up here with ample (non-alcoholic) beverages, snacks, kratom, and a vape.

I’ve earned this incoming four-day weekend. Debating on a shower now. How’re yinz?
WCS


The town is celebrating promotion to Series B tonight. It’s gonna be a late one.

2Pack


Today I learned that the judge in the “Deepthroat” obscenity trial called it, “A Feast of Carrion and Squalor” which is a fantastic descriptor of the Golden Corral experience.
scotchnaut


Runners are fucked up. After hearing one lady running by talking about how her toenails kept falling off from running, there was a total jackass running with his two daughters, they looked around 9 or 10, and he was saying “just open your chest like this, that’ll make it hurt less, walking doesn’t make it easier” and I’m pretty sure he runs so he can get away from all the people who just want to punch him in the face after hearing him talk for 10 seconds. His poor kids.
Doktor Zymm

TRUE USELESS WCS FACT: I ran cross-country in high school. It’s partially how I screwed up my right knee. That’s an entirely different tale. Anyway, I would practice run, and my younger brother would riff on me for doing so. One particular event was when we were in Ocean City, MD on vacation, I’d run on the beach. When I got back to the condo, he dubbed me, “Run Nazi,” which sort of stuck.

Flash forward 26 years, I no longer run (I really can’t), and he has run in a dozen marathons, AND has run in a half-dozen 100 mile events.

That’s clinically megamanical. THIS HAS BEEN YOUR USELESS TRUE WCS FACT.
WCS


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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bryon Noem claims that he hid his double life from his wife and I’m actually inclined to believe him. Showing Kristi a set of puppies like that is a good way to wind up in a hospital with a pair of bullet wounds in your chest.

Horatio Cornblower

Banner this.

yeah right

Since this is literally my job, I felt compelled to let everyone know that this is happening starting tomorrow.

https://www.nasa.gov/blogs/missions/2026/03/30/nasas-artemis-ii-launch-mission-countdown-begins/

Why we aren’t making more of a deal about the first manned lunar launch in 50 years I have no fucking idea.

We have conference rooms set up and launch parties going everywhere starting tomorrow.

This is actually possibly good news in this fucked up moment.

LemonJello

Do you get to light the fuze and set the whole thing off?

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yeah right

Just get to admire from a safe distance. Plus I ain’t in Florida.

scotchnaut

Since this literally my job…Countdown Begins

You’re the dude that counts down from 10? Get a good night’s sleep, gargle with a warm water and salt solution when you wake up. If you lose your voice, the whole mission gets called off!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’ve been talking about in our house, but we’re nerds.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently there has been a lot of talk about rockets in the Noem household as well.

Unsurprised

Because the poor bastards have to come back

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I honestly don’t know if it will ever get better than this: a team I grew to love as a child, beating a team I grew to hate (at the same time!) completing an unbelievable comeback with an unbelievable steal and an unbelievable shot.

I may watch a replay of this shot every day for a month.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK9VQVjDFkA

SonOfSpam

Anyone have “Kristi Noem’s husband crossdresses and wears huge fake boobs on fetish forums” on their bingo card, and if not, why not?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That sounds awful. Which forums exactly?

SonOfSpam

Six of your top eight; he does not visit DwarfSpank or GayFerretz

Horatio Cornblower

“You’re goddamn right he doesn’t; we’re keep the freaks out!!!”

/high-pitched voice from the cubby under the basement stairs

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did! Now I just need “Lindsay Graham is the biological father of every single one of Philip Rivers’ children” and I’ll have a diagonal bingo!

Gumbygirl

Lolololol!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“So say goodbye to these, Kristi. Because this is the last time.”

https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/kristi-noem-husband-accused-living-152803288.html

Last edited 22 days ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

If you’re going to wear balloon boobs and pink booty shorts, at least have the decency to center the “nipples”. Sheesh, these fucking MAGAs!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY BRYON NOEM MAKING HIS CHRISTMAS WISH LIST I CALL HIM BUFFALO BILL FROM SILENCE OF THE LAMBS BECAUSE HE WANTS A VEST WITH TITS ON IT.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS STALEMATE IN IRAN IN CALL IT TIFFANY TRUMP AFTER GAINING HER FRESHMAN FIFTEEN BECAUSE HER FATHER IS RAPIDLY LOSING INTEREST IN IT.

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently the stock market really like this joke too.

Unsurprised

“Stalemate”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

An asymmetric one, but as long as the strait stays closed, it’s basically a stalemate.

2Pack

Thank you BoLaMS.
And welcome to the garden it gets worse here every day…

https://youtu.be/s20h7uJ8CCI?is=qiw7gX6eZTqxQyv0

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