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Another “I Got Nuthin’” Post

scotchnaut

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Is ‘summer burnout’ a thing? Every single July is just a nightmare at work. People get hurt, reefers break down, logistics become a Kafka-in-the-castle challenge, supply chains break down, customers-getting baked alive in 120 degrees working conditions-are unreasonable at times. (rightly so) It’s just a big goddamn mess that you have to push through because there’s no other option.

 

Hey look, I’m whining!

What’s Going Out There?

The hits just keep on coming for the NFL. Perna has addressed this but also, a report has come out that NFL players are 4X’s(!) more likely to die from some neurodegenerative disease than the general public. What’s next, a study that conclusively proves that competitive swimmers have drier skin than the general public? That high divers have less a fear of heights than grandmothers in Minnesota? That male Maple Leaf fans have smaller (by half) penises than kindergarteners? That Tour de France cyclists have greater leg strength than sitting Texas governors?

What’s Going On Tonight?

Baseball and the WNBA.

Let me know what you’re up to. Me? I’m preparing for an audit that was dropped in my lap on Monday. Life ain’t good.

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WCS

Coworker had an open line call at a vehicle-into-structure collision. Apparently, these Nobel Laurites did not realize they were on the phone, a recorded line. They were yelling at each other, one telling the other how he wrecked his car, swearing at each other, etc. They then decided to come up with the foolproof plan to say the vehicle had been stolen and run off. By the time these brilliant minds decided on their genius stratagem, the police arrived.

3
LemonJello

That’s no way to talk about the Director of the FBI and his bestie the Secretary of War (Crimes).

2
WCS

Just had a call from Special Agent Jason Bourne of the FBI… he originally began saying he was at the apartment of someone who used his government ID to make fraudulent purchases, and eventually arrived at the same person may have a bomb in the apartment.

The police spoke with Agent Bourne, who will be fine for the night.

This really happened, yes.

EDIT: Apparently, Agent Bourne is a bit of a frequent flyer. Somehow, I’ve managed to escape his detection until now.

Last edited 11 hours ago by WCS
3
ballsofsteelandfury

@BFC, Was I right about the Freo-Sydney game or what?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So many behinds in the first half that I thought you scripted it

6
ballsofsteelandfury

Dude, that fourth quarter was something to see. Amazing.

1
Sharkbait

Balls does love a good behind

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

All this talk of travel, do we have any Minnesotans in the clubhouse?

0
WCS

My cousin lives in Street Paul. I also know someone who’s currently on a work trip to Savage, MN. Do those count?

(disembodied voice of Ron Howard: “They do not.”)

2
Horatio Cornblower

My brother lived in Duluth for a couple of years, best I can do.

0
rockingdog

Oh shit

Made a plan to hang out in SF with a new lady rocking dog friend on Saturday to watch Norway vs England ⚽️

10
blaxabbath

It may be the quarterfinals but it sounds like rockingdog will be collecting a trophy that afternoon.

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Gumbygirl

Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Watching the footy!

2
2Pack

Am going back on post this morning for the first time in 7 weeks. Only to get a haircut. Haircuts now, I have confirmed, are an every 6 week thing. Long hair doesn’t look good on me, and in the summer especially, it’s uncomfortable.
I’m also having a caffe with one of my sweeties. I’m efficient like that.

4
Bogdanski

Hey sir, I am in the good land for a few days if you want any favorites shipped out to you

2
2Pack

Appreciate the offer Buddy. I have two sisters that keep me squared away on hometown stuff. So I stay well fed and dressed… as is the way of our people.

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Sharkbait

I got a fancy new carbon steel pan. I’ve seasoned it up and am looking forward to tomorrow’s breakfast omelet.

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This evening I am in apology mode because I yelled at the Dr. Mrs. not to cross the street towards a pit bull who had slipped his leash and was exhibiting an unhealthy amount of interest in our 17 lb. elderly dog.

1
TheRevanchist

So, does she apologize to you with sexy time, or with pastrami?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You misunderstand, *I’m* the one making the apology for having the audacity to raise my voice and use profanityin an attempt to convey the urgency of my request (which went unheeded, by the way).

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’d literally tackle Mrs. Horatio if she did that, let alone raise my voice.

2
2Pack

Well it was that, or throwing yourself in front of the pitbull so… Fully understandable Bra…

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The above happened *after* I had done exactly that. After I blocked it for a bit it kind of wandered off across the street, at which point the Dr. Mrs. followed it across presumably because home was that direction.

1
Gumbygirl

Here comes a new Dyson!

5
rockingdog

Found a funny:

Think I’d be great at soccer. I regularly go 90 mins without accomplishing one goal

15
SonOfSpam

Like Dok, I’m traveling soon.

Unlike Dok, it’s for work, not fun. Specifically? Texas. Bottom five of states to visit. And in July, because God hates me almost as much as the TX Guv.

5
Doktor Zymm

I’ll be heading out to vacation in a few weeks, I’ll work from the Mediterranean coast for a week, then I’ll have a week and a day off and it will be gloUrioUs! I’m already feeling like the next 3 weeks are gonna take forever, I’m super unmotivated

15
SonOfSpam

Welp, I’m jelly. Grape to be specific.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DID SOMEBODY SAY MARMALADE?

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m back to work next Monday and already super unmotivated, so twinsies!

2
Horatio Cornblower

The good news is I’m driving a big-ass Acura, and it’s a pretty sweet ride.

The bad news is I’m driving it because the shop loaned it to me because they can’t figure out what’s wrong with my regular car, and I think I’m gonna be looking at car payments for the first time in a dozen years or so.

Well, 16 years and 263K miles is a good run.

Now to take a big sip of beer and see how much prices have changed since I bought the last one…

7
ballsofsteelandfury

Are you going to go with another Lesbian mobile or will you expand your search to something else?

8
litre_cola

He needs to put the net in the back for Lowratio. Safety first.

8
SonOfSpam

Like dogs, they aren’t good in a car:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFZCbJA_ySo

3
Horatio Cornblower

Another Subaru, definitely, probably leaning more towards a Crosstrek than an Outback, simply because I no longer need the bigger car, and yes BFC, I am going to at least look into an EV.

4
TheRevanchist

A couple months back, I was passed by a Subaru with custom plates. “LESBARU”. Oddly they were Utah plates.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

You should get an EV, but only if you’re not gonna complain about it to me.

5
Gumbygirl

My car is a 2018, and it has 61,000 miles on it. I am that little old lady you’ve heard about, except you can see my entire head over the steering wheel.

Last edited 16 hours ago by Gumbygirl
6
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

On the walk into the arena

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And pre game warmup

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Lets go Lakers

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The Lakers are playing the Owen Sound North Star’s. It’s the North Stars Capital N with the Arrow but orange instead of green. Tis ugly

0
blaxabbath

I’d like to see Governor Abbott in The Enhanced Games.

5
Gumbygirl

I’d like to see him in the Hunger Games

5
SonOfSpam

I volunteer him as tribute

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Co-starring Coach Andy Reid.

-1
Horatio Cornblower

I’d like to see him lying in state.

3
Gumbygirl

With a stake through his heart. It’s the only way to be sure.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And then fire.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Audits suck. Sorry about that!

3
TheRevanchist

Wee wee, mon sewers!

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