Hey.

2025 Season In Review

Pre-season prediction: 8-9 Second in the AFC South.  2 chances to snag a Wildcard berth; Slim and None, and Slim just left town.

Reality: 13-4, AFC South Champions (AFC #3 Seed) and a Wild Card round loss to the Buffalo Bills (a home playoff game).

If I were giving the Jaguras a performance review for 2025, I think two words would sum it up: “Exceeded Expectations.”  Holy shit-snacks. Sure, there were two OT victories (Raiduhhs Week 9, Qards Week 12) and a frantic end of regulation win over the Chefs (Week 5) that hinted that this team may have put things together finally. The week 7 blow out loss in London to RAMMIT was the only big loss of the season.  This was a team that could and did win the close games and managed to blow out a couple of opponents (Clippers, Tits x2). They lost in the playoffs by a field goal. Worst-to-first in their division (yeah, it’s the AFC South, but still…)

Can they do it again?

The Jaguras do nawt have a history of carrying good play over into the following season, usually reverting to the Jeff Fisher Zone of .500 ball.  Can year 2 of the Liam Coen era build on the 2025 campaign’s success and see them win a playoff game in 2026? I sure as hell hope so. I would like to be pleasantly surprised for a change.

Trevor Lawrence (6th year) is still the franchise QB with Nick Mullens still currently second on the depth chart.

Bayshul Tuten and Chris Rodriguez, Jr top the RB depth chart.

Parker Washington, Brian Thomas, Jr and Jakobi Meyers are the 1, 1A and 1B WRs.

Breton Strange is the #1 TE.

2025 Offensive Rankings
  • Total Offense: 11th (337.4 yards/game, 5,735 total yards)
  • Scoring (Points For): 6th (27.9 points/game, 474 total points)
  • Passing Offense: 12th (222.3 yards/game, 4,026 total passing yards)
  • Rushing Offense: Ranked mid-tier with 1,956 total rushing yards
2025 Defensive Rankings
  • Rushing Defense: 1st (85.6 yards allowed/game)
  • Points Allowed: 8th (336 total / 19.8 per game)
  • Passing Defense: 21st (218.1 yards allowed/game)
  • Total Defense (Yards): 11th (303.6 yards allowed/game)
  • Defensive EPA/Play: 3rd (-0.11 EPA per play)

2026 Free Agency

RB Travis Etienne signed with Nawlins

LB Devin Lloyd signed with Black Panthers

CB Greg Newsome II signed with the Jints

S Andrew Wingard signed with the Qards

No marquee signings/additions to the team via free agency.

2026 Draft

Round 2 | Pick 56: TE Nate Boerkircher | Texas A&M

Round 3 | Pick 81: DT Albert Regis | Texas A&M

Round 3 | Pick 88: OL Emmanuel Pregnon | Oregon

Round 3 | Pick 100: DB Jalen Huskey | Maryland

Round 4 | Pick 119: DE Wesley Williams | Duke

Round 5 | Pick 164: TE Tanner Koziol | Houston

Round 6 | Pick 191: WR Josh Cameron | Baylor

Round 6 | Pick 203: WR CJ Williams | Stanford

Round 7 | Pick 233: DE Zach Durfee | Washington

Round 7 | Pick 240: LB Parker Hughes | Middle Tennessee State

Lot of new bodies for the D-line, but not a lot of help for a secondary that had a frustrating habit of falling asleep/shitting their pantaloons late in games.  It’s a bold strategy and we’ll get to see how it plays out this season. It wouldn’t have killed them to get some more O-line help, just to keep Prison Girlfriend upright and healthy for the whole season.

2026 Schedule

2026 Season Prediction

12-5, a second year as AFC South champs and (hopefully) a playoff victory. The offense has proven they can score points and put together late drives, the defense needs to get stops late in games so Prison Girlfriend doesn’t have to pull wins out of his, uh, prison wallet quite so often.

Fantasy Football Note:

The third season of the Lowratio League is locked and loaded! Look for weekly updates of both Freezer Vodka League and Lowratio League standings on Wednesdays.  Top four teams in LL move up to FVL and the bottom four teams in FVL get relegated to LL.

Until Next Time!

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12 Comments
Gumbygirl

The lunar eclipse is pretty much at full strength right now. It’s a little cloudy here, but I can still see it.

Horatio Cornblower

Heading up to UConn to watch the men play Fairfield in soccer.

Anyone know any good derogatory terms that rhyme with ‘Stags’?

Horatio Cornblower

Or not, as my brother called to tell me that the game I thought started at 7, like any good god-fearing game would start, actually started at 6 and is almost over.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bags!

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Is Stags short for Skin Tags because you’re about as useful as one!

Doktor Zymm

Flags? Shags? Brags? Stags(everything rhymes with itself)?

Last edited 1 hour ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Def curious to see if it’s the Jags or the Jaguras showing up this year

And do be careful who you give access to your…Wallet

scotchnaut

By the metrics that D is to be taken seriously.

King Hippo

/not Deanna F.

King Hippo

That “prison wallet” reference was TOP DRAWER

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prison Girlfriend doesn’t have to pull wins out of his, uh, prison wallet…

Heh heh heh.

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