Jesus Christ, y’all. How do Bearistocrats! fans go on after that??
Yes, there was an early game, too. John Harbaugh was too stubborn to go to Mr. Elite, or to change up his gameplan until waaaayyyyy too late. In schoolyard ball time, Lamar! did lead his Ratbirds to 2 TDs. But it was 23-3 before that happened. Then he was sack stripped before they could get into Hail Mary range, and it was over.
Turns out you can’t stage an NFL playoffs comeback running the veer, especially not without going for it on 4th and short. Great job by Anthony Lynn boxing up the run, applying pressure, and forcing Charm City out of its comfort zone – and out of the playoffs. Clippers du Merde will experience the unfamiliar sensation of having a legion of rabid fans, when they go to Masshole-land next Sunday. Early (10:00 am PST) body-clock start time. Again.
All the actual footballing took place at Soldier Field, where two truly awesome front sevens did mightily battle for 3+ hours. Chi**** refused to let Philly run the ball, and couldn’t get their own ground attack really going. So it was down to the QBs, with Bollo Del Verdad surprisingly making the more difficult throws in the 4th quarter. Finally, the Bearistocrats! got their TD, but narrowly missed the 2-point conversion to lead 15-10.
Foles kept attacking the middle of the field (especially on critical 3rd down conversions), using all but a minute of clock and getting 1st and goal from the 3 or 4. Two running plays stuffed, two Chi**** timeouts. An incomplete pass and Iggles timeout followed, ensuring 4th and goal from the 2 would be all or nothing (as the timeout meant Philly could no longer get the ball back with any meaningful time left). But it was worth it, as Golden Fucking Taint worked his way open and just got across.
Not wanting to risk a Pick Two loss, the Iggles ran for the conversion…and tried a goalline stretch and fumbled. It was not returnable (sadly), and stood as a “no breaky the plane” on review. Even closer than Chi****’s prior attempt. 16-15.
Then Leonard Cohen made a balls-out kick return to the 42, followed by Bollo hitting the pass of the game to Philly’s 33. But they had to burn their last timeout, which mucked up the play sequence of the last 30 seconds. Chi**** could manage only 7 yards, a spike, and a (cautiously overthrown) end zone shot, leaving Cody Parkey to be hero or goat from 43 yards.
And the kick hit the left upright. And then it hit the crossbar. It did NOT bounce the right way, and Philly is going to N’Awlins.
Credit to Matt Nagy – he wasn’t deliberately settling for a long FG on a cold midwestern winter’s night. He did not run up the gut and spike it at 3 seconds. The clock/sideline just wasn’t kind. Like the kick…the bounces didn’t go his way.
So…that wraps the weekend. Next Saturday brings Humps at Chefs early, Non-Gendered Cowpersons at RRRRRRRRRAM IT!! late. Unlike Wild Card weekend, Saturday looks like fireworks and post-coital cigarette time. Sunday more meh. But the most predictable thing about the NFL is its unpredictability.
Just ask Cody Parkey.
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The only person who really benefits from all these sad Bears is Buddy.
Take two:
All these sad Bears and only one Buddy to go around.
I do have to say that I am really glad I didn’t fly back to Chicago for that.
Tip or no tip (phrasing!) Cody Parkey should not have been on the roster after all that. And Kluwe said the tip didn’t affect the trajectory, and I trust him more than any non-austrslian punter.
Kluwe is WRONG about that. It may not have affected the trajectory much, but it absolutely made a difference. And from forty yards away, the tiniest difference gets multiplied by a lot.
DOINK is totally getting credit for this result when it was actually the work of a Romonculus.
The counter counter point is Parkey didn’t lift the ball to avoid the tip, which is still an error on his part.
He barely made the first attempt he got iced on. From that far out and with that temperature, going higher would probably have resulted in the kick being short.
My ex didn’t buy it when I told her the tip made no difference.
I have a story to tell you.
But I can’t tell it publicly.
LMFAO
Also, we need to get rolling on Goddess III.
I’ll be home late tomorrow. Wednesday we’ll get coordinated and get going.
Sweeeeet!
We need a L.A. DFO get-together. I recommend a Sunday when traffic isn’t bad for everyone. What say ye?
I can do a Sunday morning, but afternoons are bad for me.
my apologies for the faulty prophecy
the first true Monday (ie, full work week) after all of the holiday is just devastatingly awful for us depressive sorts
Not untrue. I’d be day drinking today if I could be.
But bad idea when I gotta drive tWLS’ dead dad’s car in for service and haven’t driven a manual transmission in like 3 years.
Love that car. Don’t wanna wreck it though. But I am totally putting the top down while driving it today
Day drinking makes everything better.
Even hangovers, actually, since you have time to clear your system to some degree before bedtime.
now that I’m old, it just means the hangover starts before I go to sleep, and often makes me insomniac. Or wakes me up at like 2 am with the stomach hangover.
Yes. This
I just poured vodka on my cereal and ground up a cigarette on top of it.
Pretty decent video of Treyvon Hester getting a hand on the kick:
https://streamable.com/13vgv
that was sommet I didn’t see/know when writing. I turned the teevee off like 2 minutes after the final gun. Wasn’t really interested in NBC’s “taeks.”
But yeah, 40+ yard kicks in the cold require extra oomph and are more likely to be on a blockable trajectory. I give credit to Nagy for not treating it like it was a sure thing.
saw a really dejected bears fan at the bar. too bad dude. too bad.
I think the worst part would be losing in spite of how awesome Bollo played during Q4. They really had a chance to make a deep run.
That’s a really good edit. My compliments to the chef.
Well that game has made my flight to Northern alberta a little more painful due to heavy drinking.
The pilots are Bearistocrat fans?
a joyous hangover always beats a crippling depression hangover
or so ah hear tell
You’re going to Northern Alberta. It was going to hurt regardless
It’s interesting that the fact that the Eagles tipped the kick was lost in the shuffle. That tip was enough to move the kick to the side and yet it still almost made it. Parkey shouldn’t feel that bad given the circumstances.
In other words,
^ This. And to add insult to injury, tWLS (also a B’more native and big Ratbirds’ fan) and myself were seated at the bar watching the game. And the guy next to us at said bar was a loudmouth P*ts fan. I won’t go into detail, but my own personal convictions about not wanting to commit murder came in very handy yesterday.
meaningful sport should nae be watched in public, this is now the rule ah live by
I tried to tell her, don’t take me out in public for the playoffs.
But did she listen? Nope.
Given how I was yelling at the teevee box two days earlier during the Miami/NCSU basketball game, she should have known better.
tl;dr… It was totally her fault.
-the National Football League’s new domestic violence slogan is born!
Hee hee