It’s just been a crappy start to the summer so far. Nothing terrible has happened to me so far,
but the weather hasn’t exactly been…summer. If there had been a baseball season, I would have lost 1/3 of the games so far to rainouts or cloudy & cold knocking down crowds.
But one can only bitch & moan about air temperature for so long before you have to decide to do something about it. So, yesterday I finally decided to put the kayak in the water and go for a paddle.
Now, the ground rules for whenever I go out alone are pretty standard:
- Leave a note where I went,
- Actually go to where I said I would, and
- Call when I get home.
Mostly, WineWife doesn’t want to see me on the news being rescued like some fat man in sandals who decided to “Climb the Grind” without having exercised since the turn of the century. (FYI – if you ever do come to VanCity, do climb the Grouse Grind. It’s totally worth it.) The embarrassment would kill her before she got a chance to kill me.
So I followed the rules, and here’s what I saw:
For those of you unfamiliar, this is the Lion’s Gate Bridge, which separates Vancouver proper from the cities of North Vancouver & West Vancouver. It was cloudy & overcast, but a pretty decent 20 degrees Celsius so it wasn’t chilly. I also saw plenty of birds
and a couple of seals, but those assholes wouldn’t pose for me. Next, I paddled along Ambleside Beach,
past the Squamish Nation Welcome Totem,
and in amongst the 12 year-olds learning how to sail.
When I was later asked how bad the currents were, I told WineWife that if the rich folks were willing to let their offspring sail in them, then I could easily handle paddling those same waters.
It was a fun 90 minutes, and now I feel like I’ve actually done something ‘summery’.
Plus, I made ribs.
So, victory me!
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- UFC Fight Night: Figueiredo vs. Benavidez 2: From Abu Dhabi
- Prelims – 5:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Main card – ESPN+ / TSN
- MLB Baseball: Exhibition:
- New York Yankees at New York Mets – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- MLS is Back Tournament:
- Portland Timbers vs. Houston Dynamo – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
- Los Angeles FC vs. Los Angeles Galaxy – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN4
- Left turns:
- NASCAR Gander RV & Outdoors Truck Series:
- Vankor 350 – 8:00PM | FS1
- The Vankor 350 from Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth.
- It sounds like it’s sponsored by a Russian supervillain.
- The Vankor 350 from Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth.
- Vankor 350 – 8:00PM | FS1
- IndyCar Racing:
- Iowa IndyCar 250s Race 2 – 8:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- Race 2 of the Iowa IndyCar 250s from Iowa Speedway in Newton.
- Iowa IndyCar 250s Race 2 – 8:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- NASCAR Gander RV & Outdoors Truck Series:
- Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
- Chiefs vs. Highlanders – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- From FMG Stadium Waikato in Hamilton, New Zealand.
- Chiefs vs. Highlanders – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Australian Football League:
- Hawthorn vs. Melbourne – 1:30 AM | FS1 / TSN
- Fremantle vs. West Coast – 4:30 AM | FS1
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
At this rate, we might just be back to all sports Saturdays. YIPPEE!
:belch:
Go on…
WHAT. A. FINISH!
-Robert Kraft
RIP John Lewis
I don’t know if anyone is watching, but this Carlton-Port Adelaide game on FS2 is really good!
Neighbor has a huge bonfire under several trees and we lives in a subdivision with numerous trees. If that’s not a real life example of the COVID-19 outbreak, I don’t know what is.
And another fetish is born…while somewhere else, Hippo’s ears perk up, he sniffs the air a few times, and then shakes his head disapprovingly.
One thing that is really dumb on TV is when people are holding hands while they run.
My vote is for people who just had sex are shown in bed fully clothed. Apparently everyone on TV is a Southern Baptist who can’t see people in any form of nudity.
No, it’s cause we instituted Sharia Law here in Hollywood almost twenty years ago.
Where do they buy those L shaped sheets?
The only exception is is if they are doing a combo clothesline on somebody.
The sound of a well-attended birthday party near me is music to coronavirus’ ears.
When I depose Emperor Trump in 2026, my first edict is to order all parties to last at least 14 days and no one can leave early under penalty of summary execution. If no one gets any symptoms the party can leave after 14 days. If someone gets symptoms, the timer restarts after 14 days. This is an important step to end the COVID-19 Epidemic so the E.U. and the Soviet Union Chast’ Vtoraya can remove the plastic bubble surrounding the country so we can rejoin the world.
“But Emperor Redshirt, if they run out of supplies, surely they will die.”
“Ah, you see the brilliance of my plan!”
Yeah, that’s sounds about right. But Ohio Gov. DeWine’s Mask Malaise Speech from last week is surely gonna fix things up!!!!
writes out Will and Testament
It’s interesting to see such high compliance in some of those places in inland CA and West Texas.
Those are good looking ribs
Yes, yes, we’ve all seen Andy Reid’s business proposal for a breakfast cereal…
The Coast PX20: a fine flashlight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUkThjDt470
[gets this show confused with Red Dwarf] – Marco Rubio
He is not aware enough to have seen either one (sorry for drenching the joke, I just hate that fucker.)
I think it would be true for most politicians that they don’t have much time to watch TV shows.
The thing most most of them don’t have time for, especially an individual such as Rubio is to be aware. He certainly doesn’t spend his time studying any particular subject, so I’d think he would have some extra time to spend on entertainment.
I’d have to imagine they spend the vast majority of their time socializing. It’s their specialty, and most of them really are quite good at it.
Gladhanding of some sort.
That said, it’s still a good joke.
I will try to make up for ruining the joke by posting a gif of Marco Rubio hitting a poor kid in the head with a football.
Among his teammates he’s known as “Hospital Bill”. Both because of his tendency to hang his receivers out to dry, and also his legislative record on healthcare.
He voted -1 on this comment automatically because it mentioned healthcare?
To be fair to Rubio, any ball that hits the receiver in the head should probably be caught.
-Todd Christensen
“What a wimp!” says the wimp who nearly broke his own collar bone throwing a shot put in middle school.
Just your typical boring Saturday in Suburban Cincinnati.
https://local12.com/news/local/swat-called-to-hostage-situation-on-i-75-cincinnati
Also, this is why I do not support disarming the police (or whatever the Extreme Libiots are saying). While all cops don’t need to be more armed that a player in Call of Duty, there does need a be a fully armed SWAT team with some decent sharpshooters at the ready when idiots with this guy goes off. Also, the county, city, and state police forces show up for a hostage situation and the only thing that got shot by the cops is an innocent engine. Its sad that I actually need to call that out in today’s dystopia.
But to show I haven’t turned back to the Dark Side, I continue to support literally branding all dirty cops and those who support dirty cops and betray the public trust before sending them to prison. We may experience a slight reduction in total officers as the Thin Blue Line adjust to the new norm, but that’s a compromise with repairing the trust between the police and the public.
“Defund” is a stupid and poorly chosen word. “Reform” is much more appropriate.
I know. I’m directing the joke towards those who are more liberal than AOC, Bernie and Co.. Mainly those who created the C.H.O.P. and envisioned a utopia without cops that collapsed because opportunists took advantage of their not being cops there.
Do libertarians want cops? Or would they favor a simple revenge-for-hire force of mercenaries?
Based on my research, I think the Libertarians essentially wants us all to return to the Wild West, when the western states were Unorganized Territories with absolutely no oversight and the law was decided by whose gun was faster and more accurate.
Which is why I’m not a Libertarian, despite every Political Quiz telling me I am.
Its like that Christopher Titus skit:
“I don’t believe in the federal government getting involved in my life!”
“Okay, when I steal your TV, don’t tell the cops then.”
“I know your house is on fire, but I didn’t call them because I didn’t want to infringe on your beliefs. Oh, that insulation makes a pretty shade of pink.”
Correct, they don’t want government to be paid for be them. Like rich people.
I continue to stand by my assertion that “defund the police” is great because it creates a solid middle ground of “reform the police” to occupy, which is very hard for people to disagree with.
Ah, first rule of negotiation: Don’t start with what you want; be talked down to what you want.
Tonight on Svengoolie: The Wolfman. Lon Chaney Jr, from 1941. Classic!
Yes hello? I’d like to order a new (checks diagram) condom? For my bike. Yes, yes, I have enough whisky, just a condom for me today.
At least now when I order more Whisky, people will look at me as a bicycle enthusiast and not an alcoholic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcIV5tU_Zik
The WWI Black Adder series had a rather unsettling, though realistic, ending.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syFmUVFNRZE
This was amazing. What’s even more incredible is the fact Park was still pitching the second time.
Nobody’s even warming up in that bullpen either.
For the record I will never stop making “Thairo Estrada got shot in the leg and came back off the IL before Jacoby Ellsbury” jokes.
Hulu has “Best in Show” and “A Mighty Wind”, so there goes my evening
So many actors I forgot were in this. Hey, there’s Will Sasso.
Last night, the ’27 Yankees let a two-run lead in the 8th slip away. Tonight, they turned the tables. The ’88 Dodgers had a 2-0 lead on solo homers by Steve Sax (1) and Jeff Hamilton (4), and scoreless pitching from Orel Hershiser. But Babe Ruth cut the lead in half with his solo dinger (7) off Jesse Orosco in the 8th, and Lou Gehrig clinched the series with a mammoth (451-foot) three-run shot (11) off Ramon Martinez in the 9th.
They await the winner of tonight’s other Game Seven, between their ’61 counterparts and the 2012 Giants.
There’s a joke amongst my friends that the optimal fantasy baseball name is Anel Hershiser.
Just remember, you have to pay extra to go from Anel to Orel.
And a nation breathes a sigh of relief that there will not be a NY-NY final. (And another sigh of relief that this will all be over soon.)
Matt Cain took a no-hitter into the 7th, and settled for a three-hit complete game as the Giants won 6-2. Brandon Belt doubled and singled to drive in two runs and scored three; Buster Posey was named series MVP.
2012 Giants have definitely been your Cinderella squad.
Yeah, they’re not a bad team by any means — deep pitching staff, and no real weak points — but certainly a little lucky I would say. To be expected in this format; probably a surprise there weren’t even more upsets.
Admittedly, mean spirited, but also the Phillies’ window slamming shut, so it’s a trade-off
Pour one out for Big Time Timmy Jim.
My now 13-year-old (kill me) used part of a steam gift card to get Half-Life and is completely engrossed in it. Folks, you love to see it.
Tell him if he’s good and doesn’t touch himself at night there will be a third game.
Oh, that’s mean. Bravo!
Jesus himself showing up at the door probably wouldn’t be enough to stop that
Nor would that get a third game
I finally figured it out. I was in a fatal automobile accident back late in the fall or the early winter, and have been residing in Hell ever since. There’s gonna be an eternity of this. At least the Hell in which I reside has well-stocked HEBs and liquor stores. For the time being, anyway.
Don’t really need the glasses any more.
In graps news, we’ve reached the “hour long YouTube apology self pity party by famous dick wrestler and serial rapist Joey Ryan” stage of wrestling’s speaking out movement. Ryan’s allegations started shortly after David Starr was taken down when Danielle Matheson of With Spandex fame alleged publicly that he sexually assaulted her. 15 or so others have accused him and multiple trainers and Bookers have backed their claims. The only thing scarier than how many people were taken down by this is how many people haven’t been. One who gets a lot of mention is Chasyn Rance who was convicted of having sex with a girl under 15, proudly admits to girls as young as 13, and is registered but continues to work and have a successful wrestling school. Currently, there’s an uproar about a recent photo at his school with WWE star Ricochet and Impact star Moose where they’re in the training ring with him. Ricochet is playing stupid about the whole thing while Moose is yelling at fans for being so negative all the time. The industry remains a dumpster fire.
Wait, WAAAT?
This is fine.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/18/health/texas-infants-coronavirus-trnd/index.html
“See? This is what happens when you test! If you don’t test the infants, you don’t have 85 infant cases!”
I went through the pizza too quickly, but it was delicious.
Since I had my bariatric surgery, I’ve had to eat like a bird; eat too much and I suffer the consequences of severe belly pain for an hour after eating. The local wine bar is still doing curb service, and one of their twelve-inch pies makes six meals for me.
Happy Saturday.
What are the water temps like up there? Do you need to worry about a wetsuit or drysuit in case you flip?
Is it me or does Clint Frazier have a new stance every year?
/For this group yes it’s just me
(Clint adopts a slightly lower stance)
Senor: Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!
As opposed to that two-run dong, where John Sterling says “Downtown goes Frazier!”
Outside: hottest day of the fucking year
Me: let’s find food to cook which requires the highest oven temperature.
There’s MLL on espn or espn+ at 7 p. Eastern, if your hurting for lacrosse. I’ve also been told that tomorrow’s games will be on TSN2 up in the hat.
I love me some Vancouver!
Silly Canucks, we just let corona run wild so they’d stop coming down here and burning our houses down
54-40 or fight!
What a shame. Welcoming is the best beaver.
I wouldn’t like MAGA welcoming beaver.
“I love me some van cooter too!” – Rob Ryan
Banner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUBOgWYMBwo
I love the bass line on this. Whenever I hear it, I yearn to drive my dad’s ’72 or ’73 (I can’t remember) Chevy Nova.
My dad had a ’72. That was the year my sister got her licence. We used to pile a ton of kids in that car and claim we were going out for pizza, but instead my sister drove us around like a fucking maniac. It’s a wonder we lived to adulthood.
The Aussie rules footy has been a godsend. I’m still feeling very pessimistic about baseball surviving the whole season. Too much travel and too many hot spots.
Didn’t rookies report to camp today too?
Go Dockers!
We’ve looked good the last 2 games. I’ve got it recorded.
Federal Canadian government denied the Dirt Argos from playing in Toronto for home games. Hahahahahahahahaha. Deep breath hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha.
/Passes out from laughing