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2020 Quotables – Week 3 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

/

,

Did I “watch” football this weekend? Not really. A couple plays here and there but, overall, I didn’t pick good games to broadcast on the teevee, it seems. Perhaps if [DFO] still offered those 506 maps, I could prepare a little better.  No matter — the important thing is everyone realize nothing is my own fault.

Gif-wise, we’re hanging in there. You folks are spinning some Rumpelstiltskin style magic with what 2020 is giving a feature that predominantly focuses on the humours and pains of the quote-quote-unquote-quote gameday experience. So thanks for the effort on that end; it’s not lost here in the glitz and glamor that is blaxabbath’s Vegas life.

We hit the word count? No one cares; doesn’t matter. Please find below your  Week 3 Quotables submissions (with bonus #content)

Quotables position has always been that you need to stick the landing for hurdles to count.
When Meghan McCain saw the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man…
Cam Newton doesn’t focus during a football game. What a shock.
Joe Burrows may not even outlast Carson Wentz in the NFL.
Was is a catch?
I’d take -110 odds that the next bout of wild fires come from people burning NFL jerseys.
Alvin Kamara smiles on the sideline after scoring a touchdown.
Try this stunt back in Wisconsin where souls are illegal….
BONUS TACKLE ACTION
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WhyEaglesWhy

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I guess even undrafted middle linebackers from BYU with a speed addiction can find work after football.

1
WhyEaglesWhy

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Believe it or not, this is only the second-worst thing that’s happened this week to a MAGAt who traveled from DC to Minnesota.

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WhyEaglesWhy

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The world is a weird place, but I didn’t think it was a “Leon Lett/Don Beebe cosplay” kind of weird.

Last edited 5 years ago by WhyEaglesWhy
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WhyEaglesWhy

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“I haven’t seen a Bengal take a shot like that since Joe Exotic’s cubs got too old to pet.”

2
WhyEaglesWhy

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“I got 99 problems, and this bitch is all of them.”

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WhyEaglesWhy

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“Same old Patriots, still trying to deflate balls.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gender reveal party at Minnesota cousin/ wife house.

1
Unsurprised

In Norse mythology, Odin’s goats carry you to Valhalla and the Atlanta Falcons carry you to Hell (via Megatron’s Butthole)

Last edited 5 years ago by Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Re: banner pic

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Downfield Matriculator

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I haven’t see a big cat from Cincy take a shot like that since Harambe!

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you mixing up murdered species?
Or just trying to bring back Jazz Talk (TM)?

Last edited 5 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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blaxabbath

Don’t question his methods. If the guy wants to stroke out to post, then he can do so.

0
Downfield Matriculator

hey missed this yesterday — lions and tigers are both big cats. Too soon?

Anyway, Jazz Talk can be back any time Hidey Hidey Hidey Hay

/learned all Jazz Talk from the Blues Brothers

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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JaMarcus Russell and Darren Sharper’s first week as the P*triots’ new waterboys

3
blaxabbath

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This is all the evidence I need that we need to bring back targeting the head.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Grumblelord? More like Grundlelord.

/shows self out

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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RRRRRRRAM IT!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Weirdest bar mitzvah ever

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Spot on impression of Tom in bed.”
–Gisele

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Shit like this wouldn’t happen if he spent more time catching fish

2
blaxabbath

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“I’m telling you Cam, you can got to Arizona State University and get a world class education.”

2
Unsurprised

I know an Auburn grad making obscenely more than I make with his construction management degree

0
Unsurprised

Meanwhile, the international business major is a literal millionaire.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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It’s Cincinnati, so we’re lucky this didn’t just start another race riot.

2
Unsurprised

Would anyone have noticed?

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Downfield Matriculator

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Leastmode!

7
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Hepatitis CTE

4
LemonJello

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This is not the “bitchin’ camaro” Joe Biden was expecting to find in his wife’s search history.

2
LemonJello

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I hope that’s not a Viking funeral for Beansie or Mr. Winkles…

1
LemonJello

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“I’ll just nope out of here if you continue with that TB12 sales pitch.”

3
LemonJello

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“This video will be removed because it doesn’t meet our search standards for “Black guys pulling a train in Wisconsin.”
-PornHub Admin

6
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Another mildfire outbreak
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Last edited 5 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
1
LemonJello

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“That will be a roughing the passer penalty if you survive your rookie season, Burrows.”

3
blaxabbath

I really love this hit.

1
WhyEaglesWhy

They did actually throw the flag on this, which is some bullshit.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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With a little darker of a tan, this GIF wouldn’t be here, just another headline “MAN DIES OF SEVEN JUSTIFIED GUNSHOTS TO THE BACK”

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It would be more of an insult and the right thing to do to have the jersey worn by a homeless alcoholic, but these are Vikings fans after all.

0
nomonkeyfun

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Ah, that burning sensation when you fuck with Cousins. Oh, just mine likes to fuck people in different cities.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALL PLAYERS MUST BE LAZER FOCUSED THE ENTIRE GAME!!

The black ones anyway, because they are not “just having fun out there” or “bring a youthful exuberance to the game that is more and more of a business.”

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess it should be more ‘funny’ than ‘fuck you.’

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ArmedandHammered

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“Welcome to this is your life, Joe Burrow!”

2
Senor Weaselo

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Florida cops tackle better than the Jets

3
ArmedandHammered

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The white guys are like, why is this known as the Don Cornelius?

2
ArmedandHammered

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You take the low road,
I’ll take the high road,
and I’ll be in the endzone before ye!

1
ArmedandHammered

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Shit, he be talking about Amway again, time to slide right on out of here.

5
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE!

0
Unsurprised

The DeVos family didn’t build a fortune taking no for an answer and …

0
Fronkenshteen

The Parscale one:

”Looking every bit like a man whose forward progress has stopped.”

1
SonOfSpam

I guess when it comes to “is anyone behind me?” DK stands for “Doesn’t Know”
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3
SonOfSpam

Haven’t seen Cousins flame out like that since Rudy Giuliani’s second marriage.
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5
SonOfSpam

With the game well in hand, it was finally time for Cam Newton to perform his famous “Whitney Houston in a bathtub” impression.
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Last edited 5 years ago by SonOfSpam
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Unsurprised

God DAMN!

0
Sharkbait

GIFSOUND!

https://rb.gy/vv8qd1

Last edited 5 years ago by Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Ignore the first link.

Trust me, it’s worth it (and SFW)

h
ttps://gifsound.com/?gif=https%3A%2F%2Fi1.wp.com%2Fwww.doorfliesopen.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F09%2Fezgif.com-gif-maker-11.gif%3Fresize%3D500%252C281%26ssl%3D1&sound=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.doorfliesopen.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F09%2FHarlan.mp3&s=31

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

show off

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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This is why you throw away the ball when you can
-Trent Green in a sudden moment of clarity

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Touchdown Seahawks

or

Roughing the passer, he clearly did not have the ball
-ref

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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I’m telling you, man, Brady wanted to be kissed on the lips.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tongue?

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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fuck ya
-yeah right

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