NFL Nuggets:

• Your NFL COVID updates:
  • The Titans have had zero positive COVID-19 tests for a second straight day.
    • This means they could reopen their facilities as early as Wednesday.
  • The NFL updated their testing protocol language Monday, threatening forfeiture of games “if a team cannot participate due to COVID-19 spread coming as a result of not following protocol”.
    • This is in response to people like Jon Gruden being warned & possibly fined again for failure to adhere to the NFL’s mask policy.
  • Cam Newton was asymptomatic as of Monday, meaning he could possibly play as early as this weekend.
    • This means that if he tests negative for COVID-19 twice, and those two tests are at least 24 hours apart, league rules would permit him to return for Sunday’s game against the Broncos.
      • Unless they trust Brian Hoyer or Jarrett Stidham enough to take on Denver.

• Attendance policy updates:
  • Ohio will let up to 12,000 fans attend games in both Cleveland & Cincinnati.
    • According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the variances are allowed based on several expectations including:
      • Additional seating sections and concourse walkways will be opened to accommodate more spectators while ensuring that six-foot social distancing protocols are maintained.
      • Spectators will be directed to enter the stadium using the designated entrance that is closest to their assigned seat.
      • Spectators will be grouped in “pods” of two to four people with no grouping larger than six individuals who are all members of the same party/group.
      • Operating standards and plans outlined in the original Cincinnati Bengals Responsible Restart Plan will be followed.
    • The Browns had 6,000 for their game against the Bengals two weeks ago.
  • Pennsylvania will allow large gathering spaces & venues with over 10,000 seats 15% capacity or up to 7500 people starting this Friday.
    • This will apply to both indoor & outdoor gatherings.
    • The first game to see this is the Eagles at Steelers this Sunday.

So, Dean Spanos can sit on a rusty fencepost.

bring it home, @Dodgers ‼️#BoltUp | #LATogether pic.twitter.com/sc5kKPmk2y

— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) October 1, 2020

YOU ARE NOT LA, BITCH! I believe this might be the definition of “poseur”.

I realize not many people around these parts are particularly fond of baseball, but I’d like to think that we can come together in these troubled times to

1. Hate on Dean Spanos, and
2. Hate on the Dodgers

Because bad people do not deserve nice things, and Dean Spanos is just the worst.

In other news, GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!

pic.twitter.com/kQqDV7pulR

— Wolf Van Halen (@WolfVanHalen) October 6, 2020

This is a crushing blow to my childhood. I listened to Rush; I loved Van Halen. I risked getting extra time on my Young Offender sentence by trying to sneak out of the “school” I was at to try & see the “1984” tour when it went through Vancouver. I did manage to see Van Hagar on their first tour & the later versions of OG Van Halen. But nothing will ever match the enthusiasm I had for the Van Halen of my youth.

Rolling Stone has the most comprehensive obituary, so I’ll link to that here, and a discussion of his twenty chronologically greatest guitar solos here. Obviously, feel free to make your own list.

Since I dropped “Hot For Teacher” into the Request Line, I leave you with the national anthem of Panama,

and the best SNL skit to use a Van Halen song. The versions on NBC & YouTube have replaced the original music with generic due to copyright issues.

RIP.

Tonight’s sports:

• NBA:
  • Lakers vs. Heat – 9:00PM | ABC / TSN
    • Game 4 – Lakers lead 2-1
• MLB Divisional Playoffs:
  • New York @ Tampa Bay – Game 2 – 8:00PM | TBS / Sportsnet1
  • San Diego @ Los Angeles – Game 1 – 9:30PM | FS1 / Sportsnet360
• WNBA Playoff:
  • Game 3: Las Vegas Aces vs. Seattle Storm – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
• NHL:
  • Draft – 7:00PM | NHLN / Sportsnet

Holy hell – 2020 can fucking end any time now.