No hobos as far as the eye can see this week.
TO THE GAME!
Broncos/Chiefs:
-Yay! Drew Lock is back under center. He throws the league’s highest rate of uncatchable balls at a staggering 27%. But, he’s also abysmal under pressure so those two things do the opposite of offsetting each other.
-So pour some out for Jerry Jeudy-not surprisingly he is third in the league in having those same uncatchable balls thrown his way. He has no issues getting open. (saw him turn Xavien Howard inside out and be wide open in the endzone but, you know…)
-The last time these two played no Denver wideout had more than 45 yards. Ugly. It’s difficult to imagine a game script whereby Denver can keep up to K.C.
-Look for CEL (the Chiefs are ‘hopeful’ he’ll be okay to go after coming down with the flu) or some combo of Bell and Williams to get mucho carries as K.C. pulls away in the second, third and fourth quarters.
-Kelce should bounce back this game after getting all of three(!) targets last week.
-Or maybe Tyreek goes off again and engages “Target Hog” status. Starting slot corner Bryce Callahan is out and will be replaced by Essang Bassey. As Shirley’s grandson*, he’ll be muttering to himself a little bit of History Repeating every time Hill grabs a catch.
*may not be even remotely factual
Type on, brave lads and lassies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j58V2vC9EPc
I’m super drunk, but Adventure Time told me to be cool. Night y’all.
And now Elizabeth Olsen movie is on my television set?
I can’t believe my team beat the Seahawks today with Colt McCoy at QB.
Did it really happen?
https://twitter.com/BrinAllDay/status/1335707507768107022
Joint ashes optional?
Hippo said no parlays.
Mahomes not getting 3 TDs killed my 4 prop parlay.
Lesson learned.
Is there a celebrity you want to hit more than I want to hit Jimmy Fallon?
Nope.
Next question: is there a celebrity who you find funnier than Jimmy Fallon thinks Jimmy Fallon is?
Guys, I think the Donks might be in trouble here.
At least it wasn’t the gore-fest I anticipated.
Nevermind
Me, watching that last breakaway shot:
/Legal Disclaimer: I am in no way as attractive as Elisha Cuthbert
When I’m awake, I’m eating ribs.
— Andy R., Kansas City, MO
When Andy Reid says he needs to spend many hours reviewing the game film, he means that shot of the ribs.
Sorry Hippo, but enjouying the lack of Jeudy.
Neckbeard!!
If Tyreek Hill ever gets hit by a bus the first thing I’m going to do is make sure the bus is OK.
Just a complete piece of shit.
He becomes more and more like AB with every game.
I actually think that’s insulting to AB, and that’s hard to do.
Now now. Being unprofessional, temperamental, stiffing contractors, and defending from sexual assault allegations are perfectly presidential qualities.
The Kansas City Wifebeaters does have a ring to it.
Nice hands, Feet.
When you’ve got a bit of Chubb, but it’s not Nick
The competitive portion of this fixture sure was fun!
Love that ad that promises me the smell of Grandma’s home cooking.
Takeout pizza and take out fried chicken!? Hell yeah, buddy, Grandma ain’t cooking while there’s gin to put in a glass, wave some vermouth over, and call it a martini!
The Churchill special?
No, Grandma liked her gin, but she never got bogged down in a fruitless peninsular campaign that depended on extremely extended supply lines and against a dug-in foe defending it’s homeland.
I visited Gelibolu (Gallipoli) when we lived in Turkey 50 years ago. Interesting place.
Probably not a place to go wandering about with a metal detector.
Are you my cousin? That was my Grandma too, but it was bourbon Manhattans.
I believe we’re both in the 50-60 range, and that was pretty much all of our grandmothers. TV dinners on TV trays and don’t interrupt Grandma’s TV stories.
(My grandmother is actually really cool, but very much not a cook, and still kicking at 96)
Mine made it to 96, and she was a bag of cats! She had a blast during prohibition, total flapper!
Mine died at 98 in 2012, but I still have some pix of her as a flapper in the late 20s/early 30s. She was pretty hot.
C’mon Patrick. 2 more passing TDs
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!
No need to get upset. He’s talking about Tim Patrick.
Go get ’em, Tim!
Al Michaels narrating a gambling graphic. How fitting.
How totally unusual.
/makes dismissive wanking motion and realizes I’ve started shooting craps.
YOU, ALL RIGHT AL!? I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!!
Hard 8?
It’s okay to buy the 8, but don’t do the hardways
I’m all about the inside 5-6-8-9
Winner winner I think? Not totally sure about the football/craps translation, and I ain’t paying out personally in any case.
Eh, maybe 4 1/2″ at most
Beats me. I have never understood craps.
Really good throw, too. Not at all easy.
Lock is a decent QB with good upside if he can keep it together.
And Elway didn’t use his first pick to overdraft him! It’s a Xmas miracle!
Patrick? STAR!
Tera?
No, this Patrick’s highlights can be shown on commercial TV.
This isn’t an ass whooping, but the Donks are holding their own.
Touchdown Seahawks!
Upon appeal WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!