Your “Is This Thing On?” Evening Open Thread

^{Actual product, by the way.}

I salvaged this post from being a double Saturday evening Open Thread. I had it prepped in case Hippo had taken the wrong pills thought I was doing it. Having put minutes into its creation, it seemed a waste to put away the sweet banner pic until next year. #MarkChmura

NFL Nuggets: A lot, yet nothing, in the week since I last recapped the comings & goings.

• The NFL approved the 17th game. 
  • The 17th game will alternate between AFC host (odd years) & NFC host (even), and will be a straight division crossover game.
• One side effect of the 17th game is a bump in some players salary.
  • Due to the structure of certain player contracts, if they were signed before the new CBA took effect on February 26, 2020.
    • It has to do with their base per-game salary.
      • Jared Goff will get $1.5 million because his salary is mostly based on games played.
      • Tom Brady gets nothing because his per-game salary is league minimum, but his signing bonus is over $20 million per season.
  • The cumulative cost to the league is up to $48 million.

• The Deshaun lawsuit count is now up to 21.
  • Each one is represented by the same lawyer, Tony Buzbee.
    • Who this week backed out of providing his clients’ evidence to Houston police so they could initiate a criminal investigation.
      • He cited “potential bias” in favour of Deshaun Watson.
        • Based on the fact that Watson’s lawyer’s son works for the Houston PD.
  • Watson’s lawyer, Rusty Hardin, is taking the bold step of being aggressive towards Buzbee in the press.
    • Essentially calling him a fraud at a press conference.
    • Having 18 other massage therapists who have worked with the Texans and/or Watson give statements on his behalf.

• There are 11 potential rule changes on the docket for the upcoming Rules Committee meeting. 
  • Changes to overtime – proposed by the league and Baltimore & Philadelphia
  • Changes to kickoffs – proposed by the league and the Eagles
  • Changes to replay & officials – proposed by the league and the Ravens
  • Changes to penalty enforcement – proposed by the Rams & Bears
  • Changes to jersey number allocations – proposed by the Chiefs.

Oh, and it was April Fool’s Day today, and while I care not for these types of monkeyshines, two were particularly egregious.

With opening day today, excited to announce we’re bringing the Expos back to the MLB in 2022. Excited to be the first player/coach/owner in MLB history. pic.twitter.com/Sre5y5LUL2

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) April 1, 2021

Big News! #CFL pic.twitter.com/MeAzVMxHeU

— TRM (@Todd_Moggey) April 1, 2021

Fuck all of them.

One thing I do enjoy are the comic book movies. I grant they are not high-art, but everyone needs an escape once in a while. When you are a picked-on, often-beat-up kid in the 70s, there was little recourse beyond hiding/retreating to my room to escape to places where I wouldn’t be called a f*ggot for both being to weak to fight and too weak to fight back. Since my comics did a better job of raising me than my father, considering I cried when Stan Lee died but felt only relief after my dad went, I figure I owe them some loyalty. #WhyIDrink

And God bless James Gunn – they even made a red-band trailer, so there’s swearing!

That’ll do. I really enjoyed Rick Flag looking like offseason Derek Carr. Mind you, my guard is still up because the last Suicide Squad had a kick-ass trailer but the movie turned out to eat all of the ass.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Pittsburgh vs. Boston – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
  • Montreal vs Ottawa – 7:00pm | NBCSN
    • This is not a typo; this game is only available in the Rideau Canal & St. Lawrence broadcast areas.
  • Minnesota vs Vegas – 10:30pm | NBCSN / Sportsnet
• NBA:
  • Hornets vs. Nets – 7:30pm | TSN4
  • Golden State vs Miami – 8:00pm | Sportsnet1
  • Nuggets vs. Clippers – 10:00pm | TSN4
• MLB: Opening Day!
  • NY Mets at Washington – 7:10pm | ESPN / TSN
  • Houston at Oakland – 10:07pm | ESPN / TSN

Well, almost everything is on TV starting tonight, so if everything’s working please get to the commenting!