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Your “I Can’t STAND That Guy/Woman!” Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Co-workers. Ya gotta love ’em/knock ’em out with a shovel and bury them alive, amirite? Sure I’ve had several awesome ones. As a matter of fact I visit with a good half dozen of them each year under the guise of conducting a fantasy draft. This has been going on for 17 years now and the following morning I can count on one thing-my jaw will be sore from laughing. That is not hyperbole. When we start into the old stories it becomes hard to catch one’s breath. Lousy co-workers? I’ve had a few. The one that stands out right now is a certain waitress that had over-all and me-specific issues. I bar-tended in a place that had an enormous lunch and dinner rush. On certain days it was complete chaos. The servers would race to take drink orders so that they could “churn” their table that must faster. My sweetheart would, every once in a while, order three margaritas (a time-consuming task) on top of her regular drink order and upon completion say, “Oops, my mistake! I didn’t need them.”, completely screwing me and all of her fellow servers royally. One day she called in sick for her shift because she had a bad dream. Let me know about your most reviled work enemy below.

Zee Games! The NBA comes up short (IRONY!) once again with only Clips/Celts and Hawks/Bulls. The NHL has only three games going tonight yet all of them feature winning teams. Sens/Wings, Rangers/Penguinos and Canucks/Coyotes are bringing it NHL-wise. College ball gives us #15 TAMU/ALA, #20 PROV/MARQ, #21 BAY/KSU, #14 ISU/TTU, Tulsa/#16 SMOO and 15-8 LSU versus 20-3 (yet somehow not ranked despite a certain 6-loss team still being in the Top 25) SCAR. GET AT IT, BUMPKINS!

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My workplace co-workers that I hate were one that threatened another co-workers life with a knife and got fired. At the same place a friend of mine got accused of stealing thousands of dollars by the acting manager, who was the one that actually stole the money to pay off his drug debts that he got while running a drug syndicate out of our store while using all the product himself and with the few friends he hired. Him and the people he hired all ended up in rehab like 2 months later when they got caught on other charges, the owner still sides with the drug dealing rehab guy. So I mean boring everyday stuff.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

When I write it out it actually seems like a good plot for a TV show, I was just there to make rent and buy cheap booze.

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Col. Duke LaCross

This Oregon thing has gone to plaid. Three left, only Dildo Ren remains and is threatening to kill himself. He’s ranting about UFOs now!

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Sill Bimmons

DO YOURSELF AND THE REST OF US A FAVOR YOU ASSHOLE

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blaxabbath

I once worked as a project manager for a material supplier, blah blah blah (it was the recession, take what you can get and all that). To make a long story short, it was owned by a guy who was a sociopath/salesman/MBA who didn’t even understand the industry his company was in. He knew sales and so the job was to support the salesmen (“Sales Engineers” we called these dopes with no engineering knowledge whatsoever). Anyways, these fucking guys, I could strangle them with my bare hands and feel as clean as a newly baptized child. A couple weren’t bad guys but they were dumb as fuck so it was just constant interruptions and answering their stupid questions and trying to give them options on how to get themselves out of a situation because, “I already told him it was something we can do.”

The others though — the one’s that thought they were quite the business executives, holy fuck. At least the dumb ones KNEW they were dumb. The confident fucks, who have no fucking business being confident as they were neither knowledgeable nor likable…..jesus christ, I can not say enough bad things about them.

Obviously that gig didn’t work out. I’m taking over the family construction business now. It sure as hell isn’t perfect and my family rides me harder and over more stupid bullshit than any boss I’ve ever had — but at least I get to fight back with them which, at the end of the day, is all we really want.

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I can understand the dumb as fuck coworker issue.

The “how are those battery-powered lights working?” has a way of turning rather straight-forward 15 minute data queries in to tasks that take hours. I’ve pretty much had to tell him step-by-step how to do something because he appears to have no presence of mind to problem solve. At all. He also retains very little knowledge so I answer the same questions over and over.

The woman who hired him is long gone and considering how brick-stupid she was, it’s not surprising she pick him off a pile of candidates.

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blaxabbath

Yeah, few things bother me more than coworkers/employees who ask a question for the sake of asking a question. I got a kid now (probably isn’t going to work out) who makes just pointless mistakes that are a pure lapse in focus/failure to check his work. When I show him and correct him, he rushes me to get through the explanation, “Oh yeah. Yeah. I see what I did. So yeah, I got it.” Fine — just fucking pay attention then because there is really nothing left for me to teach you.

Now, he comes to me with stupid questions and his eyes immediately glaze over once I start answering. I think he thinks this is high school and I’m going to give him partial credit for writing all over the plans and asking questions. I am not.

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Sill Bimmons

YEEHAW I AM FUCKIN’ THE NFL LIKE A HUNDRED BAHT BAR GIRL IN PHUKET

“Going into the meeting, most believed Carson had more votes. But one moment, many would later recall, seemed to halt its momentum. Michael Bidwill, president of the Cardinals and a Carson supporter, argued that the NFL doesn’t exist just to make rich owners richer. Owners needed to consider what would be best for the league, and …

Jones cut him off: ‘When you guys moved the team from St. Louis to Phoenix — it wasn’t about the money?’

As Bidwill tried to answer, Jones moved in for the kill: ‘You did it for the money.’”

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–ZM3V50Ql–/18s3qqowzht3jjpg.jpg

Go read the rest. It’s as nauseating as it is fascinating.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/14752649/the-real-story-nfl-owners-battle-bring-football-back-los-angeles

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blaxabbath

Season 2: [DFO] Serial

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Immediately after seeing that, I began to wonder just how much Magary knew about Jerry Jones to get that character so fucking right.

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Before the meeting ended, Jones, as would be his habit, took control. He delivered a rollicking, profanity-laced eight-minute endorsement of Kroenke’s monumental vision, saying in his Arkansas drawl that whichever owner returned to Los Angeles, he needed to have “big balls.”

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Sill Bimmons

No one could possibly have predicted:

http://www.alternet.org/education/online-public-schools-are-disaster-admits-billionaire-charter-school-promoter-walton

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Unsurprised

So they are covert home schools for that segment of the population that doesn’t want their kids to actually learn shit.

Mission accomplished.

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Sill Bimmons

They’re not even that stringent.

Most states test the progress of children who are registered as homeschooled to some degree.

Children registered as enrolled in a (online) school aren’t subjected to these requirements if the school is exempted.

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Don T

Well, the classic “Let me run this by you” that really means “I have no fucking idea TELL ME WHAT TO DO” guys and gals who don’t acknowledge you otherwise. Yesterday I had to GOOD MORNING HOW ARE YOU one who looked away upon seeing me.
Being more accomplished than them is way better as a vengeance, tho.

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JustStopDude

Of fuck my life…

So I set up meetings to discuss the equipment I should have fucking order months ago. The customer is crawling up my fucking ass. So this meeting is suppose to have 12 people, all of whom are higher up than me and I need a consensus from them or else I cannot do anything.

ONE FUCKING PERSON REMOTE CALLS IN! Everyone else just fucking ignores my meeting. So discussing with my direct supervisor over the phone, I run the numbers. Right away “Go with the cheap guys!” This are the same fly by night vendor that never delivers on time, routinely ignores our drawings, and installs wrong shit. So while they come in cheap now, we get hosed in the long run.

I bring this all up. Boss replies that it cuts into the profit margin too much.

“Um boss…did you not hear the numbers I gave you? We have no profit margin. I don’t know where sales came up with these numbers, but they are fucking insane. They give me $30k to get a $46k heat exchanger. I get $50k to order a $65k heat exchanger. We are fucked no matter what we do…so why not go with a decent vendor and see what it costs in the long run?”

Silence…and then “I got to make some phone calls. But make sure you get drawings to the customer by tomorrow”

“How the hell do I get drawings for something that doesn’t exist? I can’t get a vendor to work for free!”

So yeah…that’s my fucking morning…

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blaxabbath

Shoulda been all like, “Just Stop Dude.”

I’d go with the better vendor. These guys clearly don’t care what is going on.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seriously. Would they even notice? “The cheap guys couldn’t meet specs, so this ended up being the best offer.”

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Shit, I went to sleep early last night and missed this? I hope I’m not too late!

Let’s stick with current colleagues. Yesterday at my office, we lost power about midway through the afternoon. As they should, the emergency lights kicked on. My coworker who is on my team and receives the same financial incentives to work here that I do completely seriously asked me how those lights were working when the power was out. He asked this even as multiple devices on his own desk continued to operate because of their batteries and also after looking at the big ol’ fucking box attached to the lights which is certainly large enough to contain a battery.

Oh, and this gets WORSE when I have to work* with him on something.

(*Work involves telling him exactly what to do step-by-step so it doesn’t take five times as long as it should.)

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JustStopDude

Shitty coworkers…I am convinced that our head of product development does not understand basic electrical theory or what drives do. What annoys the fuck out of me is when I am working on medium voltage, having to wear a moon suit, and he will demand I do stuff that he should be able to fucking figure out with a pen and paper.

And I have learned to NEVER ask him technical questions. His reply, no matter what it concerns is “You don’t need to to know that”. I believe that is his cover for “I have no fucking idea what you are talking about”.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Reaganomics is bullshit. And hating immigrants has been going on for 200 years. The thing that annoys me the most is my mom had an abortion and claimed the decision helped her marry my dad for sticking with it even though he was a “devout” (<— like all Catholics never goes to church) Catholic and she was Lutheran or something. The fact that both of them ignore their beliefs but are ok with forbidding anyone else from doing it is not ok

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The fact that these terrorists are gonna impact our election because no one will call them terrorists pisses me off beyond belief, the fact than the “left” swinging media won’t even do it pisses me off more.

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Porky Prime

No, no, terrorists are foreign-sounding and brown, see…white American males are a militia. Unless they’re hippies.

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WCS

THEIR REEL PATROITS HO LOVE THE CONSTITSHUN

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Porky Prime

ON THE BOATS AND ON THE PLANES
THEY COMIN’ TO AMERICA
NEVER LOOKING BACK AGAIN
THEY COMIN’ TO AMERICA

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WCS

Even got friends of mine calling Gavin Seim (phone number: 509-754-5255) calling to ask who D is.

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Beerguyrob

I just tuned back in. If anyone’s still up, they’ve just arrested Cliven Bundy at PDX on a federal warrant for the 2014 standoff. Looks like Round 2 starts in the morning.

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WCS

Trolling these troglodytes is too damned easy. Put a #MURICA or #2A on ANYTHING in a response, they’ll favorite or retweet.

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Beerguyrob

I like the Portland reporter’s response: “Bundy vowed to never go anywhere without his gun, and then got talked into getting on a plane.” They grabbed him as they disembarked.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Been around for a couple hours, was shutting the fuck up for one night for a change. Glad they are finally arresting the terrorists

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WCS

Had some fun trolling the #BlueLivesMatter group tonight. Got blocked more than once. #MURICKA

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Unsurprised

Damnation. I’ve been wandering through r/movies and I just read someone post they’ve seen Pain & Gain three times.

That’s it. Off to bed.

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Col. Duke LaCross

Do they make Ear Bleach?

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WCS

I hope Victoria sings “Free Bird!”

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Col. Duke LaCross

Were they feeding her into a wood chipper?

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WCS

Limpdick here says the “FBI gave out (my) number,” and tweeted it out himself:

https://twitter.com/gavinseim/status/10429244955

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Since it came up, how do you use reddit (for those of you that use it)? Are you lurkers? Do you hang out on the front page or constantly peruse subs? Do you actively contribute or just up/down vote things? I know I’m not a spring chicken, but I’m young enough that I sometimes think I should be on it more than twice a year.

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WCS

I only go there whenever there’s an AMA I’m interested in.

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Unsurprised

I used it to keep up with a sub related to a game I’ve written for, but then I got sucked into r/portland when I moved here and realized that a) it was distracting me when I least needed it and b) I was just using it to make myself angry. So I check the rpg sub just barely, but try to avoid it otherwise because reddit is just a hateful bunch of assholes. I already have more than enough of those living with me.

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Wakezilla

This. It’s so weird and doesn’t seem user friendly at all. Yet, I feel like I should be on it as I’m not old.

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JustStopDude

I contribute on some of the better subreddits. /r/newtothenavy for people asking questions about enlisting and the various programs. /r/veterans is another good one as it covers both helping people get assistance and many times, its just someone in need of a talk. /r/PTSD is a great subreddit as it has a lot of resources for people struggling.

And /r/lostgeneration when I want to troll utterly insane, out of touch millennials. The mere fact they compare themselves with the generation that fought in WWI, survived the Great Depression, the Spanish Flu Pandemic, and fought in WWII…fucking AMAZE-BALLS!!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll browse the front page to see if there are any interesting topics (but never vote or comment on them) and participate to some degree in the raiders subreddit. Oh and sometimes I submit links to DFO stuff to the nfl humor sections.

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Unsurprised

Oh. fuck yes.

https://youtu.be/tsYGHlnPYCk

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WCS

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Unsurprised

Thanks

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WCS

“The FBI put my number out…”

— yes, that’s what happened

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Spur

I can’t take anymore. Night guys. Go flash-bangs and slappers!

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Unsurprised

r/portland is almost entirely a festering boil on the city’s ass, but ….

–]thecitythattwerks [score hidden] 18 minutes ago
oh, sweet! 4chan put out that dickhead gavin’s number, and anonymous is flooding them with calls.
ALL HAIL /B/!

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Senor Weaselo

Wait, /b/ and reddit actually agreeing on something? Has Hell frozen over already?

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Unsurprised

They’re both evil shitpiles.

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Senor Weaselo

That’s us agreeing on something. But they get along like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots!

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Wakezilla

I literally have no idea what you just said.

/is behind the times.

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Spur

I need to hear some more prank callers.

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Sill Bimmons

comment image

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Unsurprised

I’ve been saying that since day 1.

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Unsurprised

Franklin Graham can get fucked.

https://twitter.com/Franklin_Graham/status/696014241489244160

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Spur

The FBI is using its first amendment right to go on federal land with trucks and guns, just like you!

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WCS

Holy shit, they just compared themselves to the American Revolution.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of idiots.

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Spur

Am getting sleepy. Let’s end this.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Said Ripley to the Android Bishop!

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WCS

“They people who hate liberty are messin’ with our phones.”

— peaceful protester who claims to love the Constitution, doesn’t understand the First Amendment or trolling

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Spur

Prayer time

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WCS

HOLA PEDRO

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Unsurprised

I really do want these occupier traitors killed.

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Spur

Pinkie promise not to arrest us till morning?

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WCS

“WE AINT GOIN TO JIAL THEYLL HAVE TO KILL ALL OF US ”

— peaceful protester

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Unsurprised

Forgive is between them and God. The FBI is there to arrange the meeting.

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WCS

OH NOS THEY’RE OUT OF SNACKS

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Unsurprised

They can snack on DEEZ NUTS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was the lube Cards Against Humanity sent them not edible?

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Spur

what the hell are they talking about/

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Unsurprised

Found the assemblywoman at PDX

https://twitter.com/BrentKOIN/status/697619772200976384

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WCS

These guys jerk off to pictures of Tim McVeigh, don’t they?

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Spur

We’re pooping outside in the cold. see, we’re innocent.

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WCS

“We’re makin’ a lot of sacrifices to show we’re good people!”

Says the dude armed like a special forces soldier who threatens to kill federal agents.

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Senor Weaselo

Crossed the i’s, dotted the t’s, and finally finished a piece I was working on for my friend. Still have a couple of those Prohibitions in the fridge, time for a well-deserved one.

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Spur

Party Line. “Who ‘dis?”

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow, finished reading back through the thread, looks like it’s been a busy night. You all hate your coworkers (not going there), Zymm took a job (congrats!), and the Oregon Dildo Rescuers are being little bitches (duh). Did I miss anything there?

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WCS

Always Sunny continues to roll this season.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, and I just learned there’s a Lily reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/milanavayntrub

What a country!

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Spur

This guy and the Psalms.

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Spur

This is a message about peace (with AR-15 rifles).

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WCS

Check out the twitter of #OregonUnderAttack, where half of the tweets are people with #BlueLivesMatter are saying they need to shoot the FBI.

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Spur

That’s scary reading.

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Unsurprised

Naturally.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just got back from a double date that didn’t suck. Didn’t end if a four-way either, but I think that was for the best.

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Senor Weaselo

If it’s not gay in a three-way, it’s definitely not gay in a four-way, or something like that.

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Spur

Mark trolling them “Cold? Our vehicles are warm”

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Spur

Oregon Militia Standoff LIVE FIESTA
Lighting a propane heater?
Hank Hill would be proud

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WCS

comment image

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Spur

Oregon Militia Standoff LIVE FIESTA
Poor Mark. The poor bastard just wants to go home and he has to deal with these idiots.

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WCS

#YallQaeda wants nothing more to be “martyrs” for their own delusion.

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