Luv Ya

tWBS died a year ago. It’s still shocking because tWBS was so alive—combative, emphatic, warm… He could take any Russian in a freezer vodka contest, an evening equally likely to end in a hugfest or duking it out with strangers. He was a personable devil and a great friend.

tWBS was the first person I told about getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage. I knew he was gonna commiserate, unlike my mother, who had bought tinsel for the occasion several years earlier. And tWBS was like that for everyone here: supportive, empathic, wanting to help. Loyal too; the guy had your back. I don’t expect to know anybody who was so straightforward and compassionate in equally huge measures. 

Which is funny because “Love is shit” was tWBS’s motto. It sounded true because tWBS wrote so much about love: lust, emotional connections, taking care of his mother, how he doted on his niece, Dave… One of my top favorite DFO posts is tWBS’s one about dumping the likely love of his life. OF COURSE it’s overshare-y, but also riveting and heartbreaking—and what a backstory with the ex-wife!

And then ironically, I was briefly investigated for attempted murder.

[…]

You haven’t lived until you’ve been berated and cussed out while changing your spouse’s adult diaper.

Enjoy it in its raw splendor.

I didn’t get to meet tWBS, but I loved him because he was a hellraiser AND adorable. His posts were earnest, a quality that’s hard to top when it comes to writing. He was generous with his time and had zero reservations on calling out bullshit.

For someone who often wrote “deserve’s got nothing to do with it”, tWBS seemed to really hate arbitrary crap—notably: fútbol games ending on a referee’s secret whim (instead of a visible clock), the “right” taste in music, and exes who did not answer dozens of his texts.

Personally, about the texting stuff:

My experience: tWBS was good-hearted to the bone. Sure, he was ruthless in FF back in Sept. ’17, when his team was against mine and I lost electricity at home for the rest of the year due to hurricane María. But for non-frivolous shit, tWBS was righteous. He offered to help me and my family, and posted links for Puerto Rico charities around that time. Once I told tWBS about a photographer I was interested in, and he told me about technical stuff to up my game. (I crashed and burned on a “soft focus” flirting attempt.) We workshopped efficient lines for breaking up–e.g., “My shit would drag you down”, “You don’t need a man”, “I don’t think about you”, etc. And one time we talked an hour about how the term “white trash” summed up all racism. Wish I could elaborate, but tWBS was drunk and I was high.

There were dynamite testimonials last year for tWBS, culminating with a COTW, Request Line and a Sexy Friday for the ages. tWBS did not deserve less. I mean, psht. Good on Balls and Weaselo for giving tWBS the Dante treatment #GamblorBlessU

tWBS was an original and is irreplaceable. Man, I hope up there in Heaven the Orioles seem to suck a little less.

tWBS was involved with the Durham Rescue Mission.