Why I Am the Way I Am

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”
― Bob Marley

Thanks, Mr. Rastaman for those inspiring words. I love music, and I love feeling no pain. However, the offseason is filled with the pain of loneliness, of pretending to like bazebawl, of taking screaming kids on vacation, and worrying about your beer getting warm.

Below are albums that have impacted me since I could appreciate music. (Fun note, the first two 45s I ever bought were “Play that Funky Music White Boy” by Wild Cherry and “Convoy” by C.W. McCall.)

Feel free to boo, laugh, hiss, throw empty vodka bottles at my head – and when you’re done reading, if you get that far, post your own, I’m always looking for new music.

Rush – Exit Stage Left

As an eighth grader, “The Spirit of Radio” was the perfect blend of late 70s rock and lyrics that made no sense. Also, you had to say, “Neil Peart is the best drummer ever”, or risk being ostracized. My parents gave me this cassette, along with the original Sony Walkman. “Red Barchetta” was my first introduction to dystopian worlds, and I love anything that deals with the apocalypse. My marriage, for one. HEY-O!

My 8^th grade graduation gift. Suck it hipsters.

The Clash – The Clash

Holy shit! I got this album when I was a sophomore in high school. I was so full of angsty angst that I was able to identify with four angry men from England. Strummer and Jones in fine form, snarling their way across a slab of vinyl that addresses every wrong in the world. I didn’t find out that “Protex Blue” was a condom until the internet happened. Later, when I was unemployed for 9 months, I played “Career Opportunities” after every interview that ended poorly.

Meatmen – We’re the Meatmen and You Suck!

Tesco Vee might be the craziest fucker in music. My buddy Bob made me a tape and I could NOT stop listening to it. “Crippled Children Suck” and “One Down Three to Go” – the latter about John Lennon getting shot – were hilarious and macabre. This album taught me that punk could be just as funny as it was serious. And that people pooped on each another for sexual release.

Tesco Vee is certifiable and this album is hilarious

Bruce Springsteen – Born to Run

I originally hated Springsteen, because the Clash hated him. And my older sister loved him. And I was a dickhead teenager. She played that fucking album every day driving me to school. So after a year, I started listening and discovered a true talent. (Shut up Sill, I can hear you bitching.)

Sill hates this album as much as I love it.

REM – Murmur

My best friend gave me this on cassette. And I listened to it for weeks, trying to figure out just what in fuck Stipe was saying. This album is beautiful. I learned that you don’t have to be literal when you write or want to create, you can do whatever in fuck you want. I want to write a screen play that follows three kids in the 80s journeying to the Library of Congress to discover Stipe’s lyrics because they were told that every song published had to legally have its lyrics filed there. (My friends and I believed this tale wholeheartedly.)

My War – Black Flag

Yes, I was a skater who loved punk. I saw these guys in a shitty, sweaty bar in Baltimore. The angriest song I know is “My War” and as a dude with anger issues, it fit me. I also realized that being angry all the time was not a good way to live. I listen to this album now and again to feel like I’m young with plenty of stupid choices to make.

Roxy Music – Avalon

This was my go to CD in college that I played when I had lured some drunken lass back to my lair. Ethereal without being too moody and an excellent photograph on the cover, which was Bryan Ferry’s girlfriend wearing a Viking helmet. “More than This” could me the most romantic song I know. True story, I offered to trade a sweatshirt to a guy in my dorm for a condom after this CD had worked its “magic.”

When you are a lead singer, your girlfriend will wear a Viking helmet, and hold a falcon.

Raindogs – Tom Waits

This gem didn’t pop up on my radar until post college, then it was all I talked about. My father once remarked that Waits sounded like “a guy in pain who needed to be shot.” His voice is an acquired taste and his lyrics sound like a combination of Jack Kerouac and that homeless guy under the bridge – who might just be Ed Reed.

Diesel and Dust – Midnight Oil

Post college I had an obsession with Australia. And then Australian bands. Now, thanks to DFO my Australian obsession has returned in the form of the AFL. (Go Magpies! Throw some shrimp on that Barbara!) Once the band broke up its lead singer went into politics. Yup, music with a political message doesn’t have to grate your nerves – Bono, you listening?

OK Computer – Radiohead

Just kidding. I think this band – and Thom York – suck kangaroo balls.