Welcome back to the Beat! Last time out, Whiplash showed us the meaning of control, while MadCatter out-Yetied Yeti and Blip threw Rusty many times. This time, the widely regarded as two quickest bots from last season are both in the Box, though not against each other, and fittingly last year’s 3rd seed gets the main event. Onto the fights!

HyperShock vs. Slammo!
There are few teams more popular or more perplexing than HyperShock. Will Bales has a Best Driving bolt, so we know that when the robot is working on it can go toe to toe with anyone, including the first and third fights against Bite Force. On the other hand, it’s a coin flip about whether it’ll work, including the second fight against Bite Force. Especially if it’s their first fight of the year.

Slammo! has lost their sweet sweet the mowing robot company sponsorship, so gone is the punny name, in favor of the more comic book style. Instead of the Mowbot company lawnmower colors, the bot has sweet 3-D visible paint this year. Other than that, it’s pretty much the same design as last year, though with standard tweaks, adjustments, and improvements.

The two teams did weird thing where both bots drove into each other’s squares, but it was synchronized, so they definitely planned this one. No controversy here, though according to HyperShock’s write-up, there was a little bit of annoyance by the higher-ups for 1) taking too long to do this song and dance, and 2) if the robots had made contact it would be a false start and there’d be a whole lot of time to reset and curse them out. But fortunately the latter didn’t happen, and there was a normal fight commencing.

Both bots spun around as Slammo! didn’t go for the box rush (and besides HyperShock’s the faster of the two). HyperShock got its forks around and used its speed to barrage Slammo!, doing some of the most damage we’ve seen by the highlighter yellow bot, eventually taking Slammo! to the dangerous short corner. Slammo! looked like they could get out of the corner, but that was just so HyperShock could build up more speed and deliver another somersaulting shot to Slammo!, then just coming into check up. A couple sniffs from Will Bales and co’s bot, but this fight was over.

HyperShock wins by KO in 1:11. …Oh my god, HyperShock actually works? From the first fight?

Will Bales also made a bet with Chris Rose. If they get a top 10 seed, Will Bales will dye his hair. No idea what Mr. Rose, who goaded Will into it without making a bet of his own, would do in this situation.

Valkyrie vs. P1
First of all, I forgot. It was Valkyrie’s performance against Rotator that led to the Most Destructive Award for Leanne Cushing, Frederick Moore, and crew, not vice-versa. That’s my bad, please shun and ostracize.

It got them a top-10 seed, though they got a rematch of getting manhandled by Whiplash in the round of 16. Their toothed disk now has another S7 tooth to it (this one named Dr. Acula, points for the Scrubs reference). So great, the Most Destructive is even more destructive. Though, with how brittle S7 is, I can see how this can backfire (see Tombstone vs. Captain Shrederator). They’ve quickened their all-important spin-up time, because that was their biggest flaw last year (see both Whiplash fights).

P1 was the odd bot out last year, the 2-1 bot that didn’t get in. It was the alternate, I guessed seeded as bot #33 in a 32-bot field. But a win here would be a massive step to rectifying that slight from last year. The lone front-hinge flipper has had some big upgrades, including shortening the chassis and adding some magnets to lower that wedge even further.

P1 came and box rushed and went right under Valkyrie time and time again, winning the pushing match and getting Valkyrie up, but not over. However, P1 also lost one of its rear wheels. Undeterred, they kept pushing, and Valkyrie could get airborne but not up and over, so with the undercutter in its under spot they kept grinding away.

They kept grinding until they caught on fire. The plan from P1 was to have the weapon undergo a thermal shock, and I guess either that or just plain overheating led to the weapon motor going up in smoke and some minor flames. And somewhere along the lines, whether from their loss of control, but I think beforehand, they were inverted which meant that P1 had gotten them over, and that furthered the lack of control, because now they couldn’t even get those hits on P1 as the wedge was just too low.

P1 pushed to the pulverizer, but it was Valkyrie’s pulverizer, so you’d think nothing doing. You’d be wrong as it tried to flip Valkyrie over by hitting the weapon, but to no avail. Also, from the punishment and from the pulverizer, at this point Valkyrie was barely mobile to the point the ref gave a warning.

P1 was also not super mobile, but kept engaging, and got a late lift, though Valkyrie didn’t go over. Both bots were definitely damaged so P1 couldn’t try and end it, and it went to the judges. We go to Judge Senor’s card.

Damage: 3-2 P1: P1 was greatly hampered by the damage to the wheel and almost lost mobility. But Valkyrie’s mobility was also all but dead and so was their weapon. Could go either way.
Aggression: 2-1: Both bots showed aggression early but after Valkyrie’s weapon went, P1 was still aggressive.
Control: 3-0: No doubt in my mind P1 controlled the fight. If they get docked a point it’s at the end where both bots were damaged, but it’s not like Valkyrie could capitalize.

P1 wins by unanimous decision and takes a big step into finally cracking the top 32.

HUGE vs. Riptide
HUGE is now an asymmetrical spinner rather than the symmetrical bar they’d been going for. After a surprisingly tough season for the OG metabreaker last year, the newness is gone and now it’s time to figure out how to take that next step. They were so close in their debut season… if only they had held up a little better against Bite Force, they would have won that fight.

Riptide is a rookie bot hailing from a bunch of VEX vets all banding together. Their goal? It’s in their team name, Break32; they want to make the top 32. They’ve got a heavy eggbeater spinner. They’re inspired by Yeti’s aggression and big drum, so that’s the style of bot they built, complete with the electric lifting forks.

Riptide went for the box rush, and managed to hit on the first weapon to weapon and bumped HUGE back. First off that’s already a win, because this is the kind of bot HUGE is meant to fight. Their second charge popped HUGE airborne, and Riptide actually managed to push HUGE’s big left wheel behind the screws at an angle it couldn’t get out of, and it was stuck in the slot. The question was whether the screws would reverse in time, while Riptide corralled and got a “get back” warning. The screws reversed, but HUGE couldn’t get out in time, and that’s a major upset. Ethan Kurtz is pumped, and surprised that HUGE spun upwards instead of downwards. That actually might’ve been the difference in the weapon to weapons.

Riptide wins by KO in 59 seconds. After false starting, apparently, so this was take 2?

Cobalt vs. Fusion
Fusion is still a dangerous pick to click… if it doesn’t blow up first. And that’s a big if. The lesser-known Whyachi bot got new speed controllers because that was their Achilles heel last year. On one hand, three minutes of a double spinner is a hell of a stress test, but if these new controllers work, watch out! But remember, two spinners didn’t work for Rotator.

Cobalt is no longer a Team Carbide bot, as they Dave Moulds and Sam Smith have retired (at least for now) to spend time with their fledgling families. So, their bot is now a Robotic Death Company and Brent Riker/Matt Maxham vehicle. However, if it’s anything like their last appearance, well, remember what it did to DUCK! before getting stuck in the floor. Gone is the saw for this fight in favor of a single-toothed disk. Gone is the wedge for a single fork. And it does have mini bots as well, probably the same doorstops that Gigabyte had in their fight.

Those minibots led first as Fusion led with the vert and sent Cobalt skyward three times in a row. Cobalt had a heavy wedge for the horizontal, but since Fusion was leading with the vertical it was winning the ground game at this early juncture.

Fusion bumped off the rail of the Upper Deck but still worked (still a big win), and each shot with that vertical weapon sent Cobalt upwards time after time after time again. Fusion was getting under every time, doing damage to both sides of the wedge, and upside down and no longer spinning the weapon, so it was out, because the weapon is also the srimech. By the way, both weapons on Fusion were spinning. Maybe they can make it work…

Fusion wins by KO in 1:15, and Reese Ewert makes some jokes at his brother’s expense, wanting to give an award to big bro Jake. Or in his words, “I think he deserves an award, being the most hated man on television, at a time when Donald Trump was on television.”

Well, there’s your line of the year.

Black Dragon vs. Icewave
Black Dragon’s got a new captain this year as Gabriel Silveira Teles has given way to Gabriel Gomes, but the bot’s the same idea as from its semifinal run. And they have a sweet wedge paint job for this fight, with fire and ice on it! Because…

Icewave is back! Sure, at this point the sport has caught up to the bot breaker, but it’s still a powerful enough horizontal to give anyone a problem. The big question is if that engine’s a little more resilient than when Rotator dismantled it, where if the engine stalls, it’s kinda kaput. At this point, with the development that Icewave’s had since its last fight, it’s all been remachined from a standard emergency saw.

First hit and the semi rush sent Icewave on top of Black Dragon. Icewave spun one way while the weapon spun the other. And after that, though their wedge was keeping Black Dragon at back, and the engine was humming, Icewave’s weapon wasn’t spinning, as replays showed it spat out a belt.

From there the drive went pretty quickly as well as Black Dragon chipped away, and it would be an inauspicious start for the returning internal combustion bot. And a pulverizer shot from Black Dragon’s corner as the semifinalists from last year are 1-0.

Black Dragon by KO in 1:10.

Witch Doctor vs. DUCK!
Well this’ll be a fun fight between two beloved fan favorites. Witch Doctor had a bit of a step back last year, only going 1-2. They had weapon issues, namely that the disks were too brittle, but they were one of two bots to successfully defend their bounty, so still a pretty good year for arguably the power team of the Florida Bot Mafia.

DUCK! returns, now with a new duck bill lifter. That quacks! And for this fight they have really long forks. Like, End Game comical levels. You know they’re a tank, but if they play the fork game too, they could do a great job at being the defensive bot they’ve been every year.

Both bots were tentative out of the game, and a slide from DUCK! gave WD the opening to take off the right fork and then give a shot to DUCK!’s side. A second one followed again, and the duck got a little airborner.

But Witch Doctor’s weapon slowed and stopped, meaning this was now DUCK!’s fight. But Mike Gellatly’s a great driver too, as Witch Doctor pushed DUCK! around. But DUCK! followed and pinned Witch Doctor toward the Upper Deck.

The two continued to push, where Witch Doctor could get around to DUCK!’s forkless right side and push them to the pulverizer and get a couple shots in.

DUCK! opened the jaws in case, but Witch Doctor continued to push to the end, ending it by getting DUCK!’s fork under the screws. It went to the judges.

Damage: 3-2 DUCK! Fork vs. weapon—weapon dying wins.
Aggression: 2-1 Witch Doctor: Even when the weapon died, they did the pushing. Yes, against a pusher.
Control: 2-1 Witch Doctor: They won the pushing matches and it was DUCK! stuck on the screws at the end. I could see 3-0, especially because did DUCK! Even use its weapon? (They did but unsuccessfully.)

So I have 6-5 Witch Doctor, and I’ll be honest, it could be 7-4.

And it was indeed Witch Doctor by unanimous decision. Andrea Gellatly actually shut the weapon off after that hit because something seemed wrong and it’s better than trying to force it and smoke the motors. It still counts as the weapon being disabled, but she’s right, smoke would look worse, and probably would hurt the wallet a little more. But more importantly, unlike last year, Witch Doctor starts their season 1-0.

YouTube Exclusive: Claw Viper vs. Pardon My French
The fastest bot returns. No, not HyperShock. Claw Viper last year was the only bot that could outspeed the highlighter yellow bot. Doesn’t mean it was always controllable, as the rookie lifter-clamper had some driving issues en route to a 1-2 season. But with a year of experience, maybe a little time is what this bot needed.

Meanwhile, Pardon My French is making its long-awaited debut. The Quebecois drumbot’s been in the works for a while now, and due to various reasons, now’s finally the time. It’s a rather large drum, so first things first, I’d say their spin-up time would be vital in this one. To the fight:

Yeah, that’s why this is the cut fight. This was over from the first suplex. I think the drum is supposed to be Pardon My French’s srimech, or at least I hope so, but if so, that idea didn’t work. The bot might be too long for that.

Claw Viper wins by KO in 1:44.

Main Event: Copperhead vs. Lock-Jaw
Well, as per numbering, we had the 1st seed from last year in the first episode, the 2nd seed in the second, and now, yes, last year’s 3rd seed in the third episode main event. Of course, last year’s top two seeds, Hydra and Bloodsport, are a combined 0-2 after facing last year’s top two bots, End Game and Whiplash. Copperhead’s not fighting Tantrum or Black Dragon, so it’s not 3rd seed vs. 3rd place, so maybe there’s a fighting chance. Instead it’s one of the old standbys, Lock-Jaw.

Zach Goff is unavailable during this season, so Robert and Kimberly Cowan (and Cuddles the Snake) are captains for Copperhead this time around. The thing that sank the powerful drumbot in their upset loss against Mammoth was their drive. Caustic Creations think that it’s been rectified, but we’ll see what happens in the Box.

Lock-Jaw had a little bit of an up and down year in 2020. On one hand, a 2-1 finish and top-16 seed is nothing to scoff at. On the other, Lock-Jaw got smoked by Shatter! in the first round. But on the third hand, Lock-Jaw was systematic in getting through a bounty tournament and taking it to Beta as the bounty hunter. Hell, if anything, shouldn’t Lock-Jaw have been the bounty bot, considering all the things Donald Hutson and Mutant Robots have done in the last 22 years?

Lock-Jaw led, as is tradition it seems, with its backside plow. The plow went directly above Copperhead though, which meant that the drum could just start grinding away at Lock-Jaw’s belly.  When Lock-Jaw turned around and the two bots went weapon to weapon there were plenty of sparks each time. Copperhead was winning the exchanges though as Lock-Jaw was turned back most of the time, including a double-shot where Lock-Jaw flipped right onto the top of Copperhead.

Copperhead needed to reset and either got high centered, or had drive issues on one side, but Lock-Jaw’s weapon caught on fire. Copperhead’s mobility was still limited, so it was the drive, but it was able to continue to attack and even invert Lock-Jaw. The two bots continued to push, where an inverted Lock-Jaw still pushed Copperhead to the wall. But Copperhead’s drum still spun and kept grinding and kept popping. 

The two bots ended one on top of the other in the last 10 seconds or so, Lock-Jaw on top of Copperhead. It would go to the judges.

Damage: 3-2 Copperhead: I had this 4-1 at first glance, but on recap the drive issues on one side, knowing it was drive issues and not a high centering, makes it 3-2. Yes, drive is weighted more than weapon, but also fire.
Aggression: 2-1 Copperhead: Fairly even. Copperhead in the first half, Lock-Jaw in the second, but Copperhead had the primary weapon aggression, so that gets the tiebreaker.
Control: 2-1 Lock-Jaw: Fairly even, but the drivetrain issues meant that Lock-Jaw could control in the later stages of the fight

I have it 6-5 Copperhead, but it was a split decision. Jason Bardis was for Copperhead, and Derek Young was for Lock-Jaw. Your tiebreaker was Lisa Winter, who went for Copperhead, so it’s Copperhead by split decision.

As for tonight’s fight card:

In a battle of sophomores who went 3-0 in their rookie seasons, 0-1 Malice takes on 1-0 Jackpot.
1-0 Ribbot takes on a returning Overhaul.
South Korea’s version of Tombstone, Team ORBY’s Blade takes on resident spinner-killer Skorpios.
Speaking of, an 0-1 Tombstone takes on 1-0 Mammoth.
Lucky returns at long last, taking on 1-0 Tantrum.
2015 semifinalist Ghost Raptor takes on rookie bot to watch, the omniwheeled vert Glitch.
In the YouTube fight, Bots ‘n’ Stuff’s new second bot Retrograde takes on fellow rookie Rampage.
Main Event: Two outspoken captains square off as Jamison Go and the 1-0 SawBlaze takes on Martin Mason and the 1-0 MadCatter.

That’s our schedule, and we’ll see you next week.