Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Event 2

Senor Weaselo - June 30, 2020June 29, 2020

Well, we're still here, so that's nice. We return to the Rolldown with the second event of the 2020 Marble League, the halfpipe! In our first event, it was the Minty Maniacs surprising us all by taking gold in their first event all the way back from the depths of the

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: The Games Begin! (ML2020 Opening Ceremony & Event 1)

Senor Weaselo - June 23, 2020June 22, 2020

Yes, we made it. We're not all dead yet and can experience the gravitas, the splendor, the magnificence that is the pinnacle of marble sports. Marble League 2020, from the Andromedome. To lead it off, the opening ceremonies, with King Stardust, and the primary members of the JMR Staff and Committee

Marble League Rolldown: ML 2020 Qualifiers (and Friendly Round)

Marble League Rolldown

Senor Weaselo - June 20, 2020June 19, 2020

And just like that, with a quick turnaround, we're back. It's time for the 2020 Marble League Qualifiers, to fill out the full lineup for next week's championship. 20 teams will compete in four events, with the top 12 advancing to this year's big stage, Marble League 2020. Let's do

The Inaugural Marble League Rolldown!

Senor Weaselo - June 17, 2020June 17, 2020

That's right, we've got a new column while there aren't any human sports, which at this rate won't be for a while as Arizona, Florida, and the rest of the South goes through its coronavirus wave. Y'all laughed and scoffed when New York got hit (because the American strain is

[DFO] Ranks the 2020 Uni Crop

Senor Weaselo - May 18, 2020May 17, 2020

Good day, and welcome to possibly the first in an annual series. Or actually the second, since I panned the Jets' unis last year and this is along the same vein. A whole bunch of teams changed their uniform layout this year, so it's only right that we go over them

Your 2020 Banner Madness Recap and Unveiling

Senor Weaselo - March 31, 2020March 31, 2020

I believe we have a winner. 58. “In honor of Veteran’s Day I’ve taken a shot of Bulleit and neglected to adequately provide mental health services to myself.” beats 59. “If Garrett had only hit a woman with that helmet he’d be back by Week 14.” 32-12 And there you have it. A champion

Your “Championship Saturday” 2020 Banner Madness Championship and Saturday Morning Open Thread

Senor Weaselo - March 28, 2020March 27, 2020

114

It comes down to this, a clichéd saying that means you don't have anything better to say. But I do! It's been a rough month in the world. In short, it's all gone to hell, even if we're not all gonna die. We think. Unless you're a disciple of BOLTMAN. In

Your 2020 Banner Madness Penultimate Four!

Senor Weaselo - March 25, 2020March 24, 2020

So we're finally here. The 2020 Banner Madness Penultimate Four. The four to make it, already champions in their own right to survive an impressive year of banners. Let's go through it all. GAMBLOR Region First Round 64. “Only thing wetter than this Ravens-Steelers game is my wife seeing the Witcher in the

Senor in the City, Episode 2: Work in the Time of Corona

Senor Weaselo - March 24, 2020March 23, 2020

Senor Weaselo is a freelance musician living in New York City. As you would expect, this means he has had some stories and adventures in his time. These are not all of those stories, and definitely not the more specific ones, due to at least a veil of anonymity and

2020 Banner Madness: Road to the Penultimate Four

Senor Weaselo - March 23, 2020March 22, 2020

In short: 'Tis a long one. Long, winding, a monthlong actually-occurring-in-March gauntlet. And after this four will remain. That's still kinda something. As for the possibilities: In the BOLTMAN Region… 2. “These goal posts are taking it like an NFL girlfriend lately.” beats 51. “THIS JASON GARRETT, I CALL HIM HILLARY CLINTON BECAUSE

2020 Banner Madness: It’s the Ice Milk Eight!

Senor Weaselo - March 22, 2020March 21, 2020

Holy hell, right? At the beginning of the month things were a bit tenuous, sure, but we didn't expect this. And believe it or not I've only seen one President Madagascar meme so far! And then to further it, I fell asleep at a civilized time without actually writing this up