CFL Beat: Week 6

The Maestro - July 13, 2023July 12, 2023

Boy, we sure seem to have a lot of crappy teams at this point in the season. In a nine-team league, it feels like it shouldn't be a huge ask to see a bit more parity, but this year it feels like the league is more divided into haves and

CFL Beat: Week 5

The Maestro - July 6, 2023July 5, 2023

It's been a stinking hot week thus far in eastern Canada, and I, for one, am lucky that I'm not the one who has to be practising in this intense heat and humidity. For a lot of Americans, particularly those who grew up in the South, a high of 34

CFL Beat: Week 4

The Maestro - June 29, 2023June 28, 2023

School is finally out for me, and we're heading into a long weekend with a short ticket of CFL action this week. Just three games coming up on this weekend's calendar, but no shortage of drama to recap from a few days prior. Let's go! In league news this week: Calgary

CFL Beat: Week 3

The Maestro - June 22, 2023June 21, 2023

As we sit here and discuss the beautiful game of Canadian football, I am so looking forward to the end of the school year. Just a few more days until these report cards are done and dusted once more, and I can enjoy my summer precisely how it was meant

CFL Beat: Week 2

The Maestro - June 15, 2023June 14, 2023

I want to give you all some insider info on how the CFL Beat is made; I have a perfect workflow, honed from over seven years of doing these articles. At least, it was perfect, until PFF stats fucked me. Looks like live stats are totally down on CFL.ca, which

CFL Beat: Week 1

The Maestro - June 8, 2023June 6, 2023

We've finally arrived at Week 1 of the regular season! Buckle up with a few Molsons and a bag of all-dressed chips and make yourself comfy for the summer and fall of 2023, folks. In league news this week: The CFL announced a partnership this week with Pro Football Focus to

CFL Beat: West Division Preview

The Maestro - June 1, 2023June 1, 2023

We're now just a week away from the kickoff to the 2023 CFL season! Last week, I previewed the four teams from the CFL's East Division - Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, and Toronto; this week I'll be bringing you a quick overview of each of the five West Division teams. Reminder

CFL Beat: East Division Preview

The Maestro - May 25, 2023May 22, 2023

Another year, another set of team previews! As per usual, this week features the four East Division teams, while next week features the five teams of the West Division. If you'd like to study up before making your picks in this year's [DFO] CFL Pick 'Em Pool, I highly recommending

CFL Beat: Your 2023 Season Overview

The Maestro - May 18, 2023May 18, 2023

Hello all - after almost six months away, the CFL Beat makes its glorious return this week! I'm looking forward to another year of covering the ridiculous sport of Canadian football for all of you; the season kicks off a bit later this year, with Week 1 games starting on

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 18: The 2013 Youabian Puma

The Maestro - May 11, 2023May 10, 2023

[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! WE FINALLY FUCKING WON A GAME! GOD, THAT GETS MY DICK HARD. We're going on a fucking ROLL from here on out. I can feel it. I'm vibrating

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 17: The 2009 Covini C6W

The Maestro - May 4, 2023May 3, 2023

[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! THESE FUCKING COCKSUCKER MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS, I CALL THEM THE SS MINNOWS. AN 0-3 START TO THE SEASON GETS YOU EXECUTED AT CENTER FIELD IN ARENA BALL. God DAMMIT,

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 16: The 2005 Citroën C3 Pluriel

The Maestro - April 27, 2023April 27, 2023

[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S NOT FUCKIN' BACK? MY GODDAMN FOOTBALL TEAM. FUCK, DO WE FUCKIN' SUCK. Holy SHIT. Practise this week is nothing but suicides and Oklahoma drills.