Author: The Maestro

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 9: The 1957 King Midget Model 3

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! LOOKS LIKE THAT STUPID INTERNET ASSHOLE IS LOSIN' FUCK TONS OF MONEY AGAIN. No, not THAT stupid internet asshole, the OTHER one. With the bad jokes and all

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 8: The 1957 Waterman Aerobile

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! Just a month and a half out from the season opener against Philly. God, that gets my balls throbbin'. Or maybe that's just dehydration. Whatever. Feels great all

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 7: The 1942 L’Oeuf Electrique

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! The mother-fuckin' USFL is back!!! Wait, fuck, apparently that's the XFL. Who the fuck knows anymore. Look, you're kidding yourself if you think you can remember the difference

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 6: The 1933 Fuller Dymaxion

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! The NFL is over? FUCK. You mean I gotta WORK now to get geared up for the USFL? Son of a BITCH. These shitmonglers know that they're makin'

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 5: The 1921 Leyat Helica

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! I don't give a fuck about the Super Bowl. Never have, never will. Ain't never won it ONCE in my whole goddamn career. Fuckin' fancy pricks. Bet they don't even

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 4: The 1920 Briggs & Stratton Flyer

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! I'll tell you one thing, brother. I wouldn't piss on Tom Brady if he was on fuckin' fire. I wish nothin' but hate on that dude. Fuckin' ruined

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 3: The 1913 Scripps-Booth Bi-AutoGo

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! USFL commish says we gotta start takin' a look at our rosters to figure shit out soon. FUCK THAT. It's BURNOUT SEASON, baby. Colder temps mean more rubber

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 2: The 1911 Reeves Overland OctoAuto

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! God DAMN. That was some good fucking playoff football last week, huh? Not the Bucs I guess, though. Brady looked like a rusted-out heap of shit. Guess whatever

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 1: The 1899 Horsey Horseless

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] What the FUCK is UP, you fucking PUSSIES? I'm BOSS FUCKIN' TODD HALEY, head coach and GM of the USFL's MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS WOOOOOOOO!!! You dumbshits probably know me from my NFL experiences in KC

It’s Chucky’s Team Now: Your 2022 England World Cup Preview

The Maestro -
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What an absolutely abysmal eight decades eighteen months it's been for England. First, you're already the laughingstock of the planet, still dealing with the aftershocks of a crumbled empire that have been inevitable for the past century. Second, your perennially underachieving football team appears to finally play up to form for the