You know what Dad really wants? He doesn’t really want brunch, he doesn’t give a shit about a new tie or a t-shirt, what he really wants? Alone time. If you’re the wife, take all the kids and go see the new Jurassic Park movie or some damn thing. Give Dad a couple of hours of quality alone time. This gives dad plenty of time to jerk the gherkin, play some air guitar, eat some terribly unhealthy food and maybe take a nap. You don’t have to leave him alone for the entire day, just a couple of hours. He will appreciate it.

In honor of Father’s Day, we ain’t doing shit today! Yes!

I’m going to grill some carne asada and it’s not even my recipe! What? you feel cheated? Alright, grab a lemon, a lime, an orange and juice them all into a gallon freezer bag, add a sliced onion, 5 cloves of garlic minced, 1 12 oz beer, 1/4 cup soy sauce, 3 sliced jalapenos, several orange slices, some cilantro, teaspoon of cumin, tsp chili powder and mix together well, add in 4 lbs flap meat or skirt steak, flap meat is best, refrigerate overnight. Grill until crispy over charcoal fire, make tacos, burritos or just chow down on it like a steak.

There, a recipe!

Full disclosure though, I’m not doing it that way today. While the recipe I gave makes a delicious carne asada I’ve actually got this carniceria that I’ve been getting my carne asada from for years and I won’t lie to you, it’s better than mine. I don’t know what they use (I think it’s Sunny Delight – really) but it is just about fucking perfect carne asada.

Quick back story, during the late 80’s until 1991 I lived in San Diego. Home of the greatest carne asada burritos on the planet. Shout out to Lolita’s, Roberto’s, Albertos, Adelberto’s and all of the other ‘berto’s I forgot. The standard San Diego carne asada burrito has the grilled meat, some pico de gallo and a little guacamole and that’s it. You can also get some red or green hot sauce on the side. Get some. If you remember my chili tepin recipe (shameless whoring out alert) https://www.doorfliesopen.com/wp/index.php/2015/06/11/a-chili-by-any-other-name/ I actually based that chili recipe on the hot sauces from San Diego. I will be using some today.

A good carniceria is a great thing to have and very few people give up the name of their’s just to protect the source. If you ask nicely I will give you the name of mine but it won’t do you much good unless you feel like driving to Carson California. I live near LAX and I am willing to make the 25 mile round trip just to grab some of this meat (Oh 25 miles! Oh Dear! You poor thing! you may sarcastically say but this 25 miles involves the 405 and the 110 freeways in L.A. so leave me the fuck alone). When I lived in San Pedro I used to drive to fucking Norwalk, about 25 miles each way to buy my carne asada but I found the place in Carson which is better and much closer. They also make homemade beans, carnitas, pollo asada and many other wonderful things that I can’t pronounce very well. The prepared carne asada is the damn thing though.

Family story time! My nephew got married in Long Beach last year and we hosted the entire wedding party at my place. What did we serve this massive family gathering? About 10 lbs of carne asada and 10 pounds of pollo asada right off the grill. Everybody loved it. It’s a nice informal meal, easy to produce and very easy to clean up after. There were two vegetarians at the gathering and guess what? They both broke down and ate some and they both said it was delicious. This has the power!

Today I’ve got 4 pounds of prepared carne asada, some refried beans, some of my chili tepin, some additional not as hot salsa, chips, flour tortillas and an ice chest overflowing with delicious frosty beers. Gonna start up a charcoal fire and grill this steak over the coals until crispy. This is one of those times when you want a rocket hot charcoal fire. This stuff cooks quick and you want a piece or two with a little bit of char for flavor. Cut it into chunks, add some salsa, chili tepin, cheese if you would like and optional guacamole. For the record I am not a big fan of the guac. I can eat it without any issues but I don’t think it adds much to the party. Feel free to disagree and if you want this is a perfect dish to use some in. Wrap all of this goodness up in a warmed flour tortilla and proceed to shove this wonderful concoction right down your cake-hole. Another quick aside, rice and beans go on the side. Stop putting them in your burritos.

Now see there, you’ve got a salty, spicy, savory, greasy creation that is unrivaled in the burrito world. You have achieved culinary greatness and god-like status and you really didn’t have to do a damn thing apart from driving to Carson and firing up the grill. It is actually encouraged to over-consume both on the burritos and on the cervezas.

It’s Father’s Day. You’re allowed.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads!