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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY

A pair of young men are driving a rental car through the streets of Culver City.  The one driving is clutching the steering wheel frantically and whipping his head around in frustration, while the passenger fumbles around with a folding map.

JARED GOFF: Where ARE we?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: I don’t know, I don’t know!

JARED GOFF: Goddamnit.  I’m pulling over.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Don’t stop, we’re late already!  Just go west.

JARED GOFF: [grumbles] Fine.

JARED GOFF continues driving straight.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Dude, I said go west.

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Jesus, do you not even know what fucking direction west is?

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: See the sun? It’s past noon, so the sun is in the west.  Drive towards the sun, stupid.

JARED GOFF turns and begins driving west.

JARED GOFF: And then what?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…I’m not sure where we are on the map.

JARED GOFF: [peering out the windshield] We’re on Jefferson, the cross street is…Somerset.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…

JARED GOFF: Dude, do you not even know how to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: DUDE I WENT TO FUCKING UNC THEY DON’T TEACH US THAT SHIT THERE!

JARED GOFF: How to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Uh, yeah, that.

JARED GOFF: Ah, fuck.  Might as well pull over now.  It’s two o’clock.

— [radio flies open] —

DJ 3000: [as excited as a computer-generated voice can possibly sound] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO REQUEST LINE.  I’M YOUR HOST DJ 3000, FILLING IN FOR JARED GOFF AND MITCHELL TRUBISKY WHO APPARENTLY WERE HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH THE NAVIGATION FEATURE ON THEIR CELLPHONES…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY and JARED GOFF: [in unison] Hey!

DJ 3000: …BUT DON’T YOU FRET AND DON’T YOU FROWN CAUSE YOUR OLD PAL DJ 3000 IS HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO ROCK AND ROLL TOWN.  TODAY’S THEME IS ‘NAVIGATION’ SO WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT MAPS, COMPASS DIRECTIONS, BEING LOST, THAT KIND OF STUFF.  I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A CLASSIC FROM THE CHURCH.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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nomonkeyfun
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
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comment image

BOLTMAN KNOWS WHERE TO FIND THIS ILLUSIVE HUMAN FEMALE!

ArmedandHammered
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ArmedandHammered

SonOfSpam
Member

Down Under is a direction according to Aaron Rodgers.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

nomonkeyfun
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nomonkeyfun
Member

Time to double it up.

SonOfSpam
Member

Moar like Go West Hollywood, amirite?

SonOfSpam
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DOUBLE SHOT, kinda sorta

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

How about doubling up West-ward?

nomonkeyfun
Member

ArmedandHammered
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ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Beerguyrob
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East Bound & Down – Jerry Reed

King Hippo
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Well, if’n you open it to band names…

ArmedandHammered
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ArmedandHammered

yeah right
Member

SonOfSpam
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“And we never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do.”

– Cleveland Browns

SonOfSpam
Member

CSN Double Shot!

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

yeah right
Member

Oh, that’s good!

King Hippo
Member

Hippo soundz!!!

King Hippo
Member

and….doubleshot to mah homeland!’

yeah right
Member

Do band names count?

I’m pretty sure band names count.

yeah right
Member

Double band name shot!

King Hippo
Member

nomonkeyfun
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King Hippo
Member

nomonkeyfun
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yeah right
Member

Might as well get the oldies and the moldies out of the way early.

Spanky Datass
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Spanky Datass

Young Spanky really wanted to make a Spanky sammich with Shirley Jones and Susan Dey as the bread. Just sayin’.

King Hippo
Member

JerBear50
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JerBear50

I will never hear that song without seeing Michael Madsen dancing around with the gas can.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

Look at the static image for this video above: Tarantino looks like Boltman.

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