The Party’s Over… For Now, At Least: Your 2024 New England Patriots Season Preview

The Maestro - August 22, 2024August 15, 2024

Last season was the nadir of the New England Patriots. It had to be. It MUST be. After utter disaster on the field and the departure of the greatest head coach in the history of football, it was clearly time for a complete and total rebuild of the entire organization.

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - December 14, 2021December 13, 2021

[INT. - Natick Mall Christmas display. Despite the ongoing COVID pandemic, we see lines of happy shoppers, as well as a gaggle of small children eagerly awaiting their chance to meet Santa Claus.] SULLY THE ELF: Listen up all youse kids! Santa's just runnin' a couple minutes behind sched but should

Historical Badasses: Henry Knox

Historical Badasses

The Maestro - February 16, 2017February 15, 2017

Canadians don't get to talk about American military history enough. It's a shame, too, because there's a lot of it there - schoolchildren get to talk about the world wars and Native rebellions quite a bit, but there's only one high-school course available in Ontario on American history. All the

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 9, 2015October 9, 2015

So we kicked off Week 5 last night with a 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck in pants-shitting agony, somehow getting enough energy to overcome a bacterial infection he'd been in the hospital for just two days earlier, throwing for 2 TDs and spearheading the Colts to beating the hapless Houston Texans. So

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - September 30, 2015September 30, 2015

Week 4 begins tomorrow, and everyone's favorite team to hate, the New England Patriots, head into their bye week sporting a perfect 3-0 record. Not only have they managed to look good in the process of wins over Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Jacksonville, they've managed to enrage both Roger Goodell and