Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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WhyEaglesWhy

I watched that with the sound off because I’m at work, and I can’t imagine it’s any less horrifying. I can’t figure this guy out. Either he is a Troll Genius far exceeding Tom Brady, or…well, I don’t even want to contemplate how cringe-inducing the “or” is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So are we live blogging the All Star Game or what?

Horatio Cornblower

Dear god I’ve seen better production quality in late night porn. And at least in those shows they know the difference between a belly button and a vagina.

ballsofsteelandfury

The lack of a title or picture for this post both intrigued me and scared me at the same time.

ballsofsteelandfury

Well now my komment doesn’t make any sense!

Old School Zero

You expect things to make sense in a Tommy Wiseau post?!

/shakes head
/pours 21 year old Japanese Whisky into a glass of Jose Cuervo Gold
/it bubbles up and forms a cupcake
/the cupcake grows arms and hands and is holding a knife
/I eat the cupcake
/the cupcake cuts itself out of my abdomen
/cupcake sets up a tape recorder
/I get up and leave after high fiving the cupcake
/football likes the spoon
/WHY LISA

Horatio Cornblower

You might say that that cupcake was tearing you apart.

Old School Zero

Wait, does it just sort of start over there at the end? How is everything spelled correctly? I feel like there should be star wipes instead of slow fades. The Neighbors just looks like every bad improv troupe you’ve ever imagined. GIVE HIM AN EMMY JUST TO HAVE HIM GIVE A SPEECH!