From what I can recall yesterday I had fun watching and drinking, drinking and watching. Did anyone not come remotely close to earning their pay today? [raises hand] Did anyone use a flimsy excuse to leave early? [raises hand] Well, at least we’re being honest. Tuesday I’ll get right back at it and…there’s more games? I went to the beer store to replenish stock? I can start drinking at 6 EST because there’s a double-header? You don’t say! Sorry in advance, folks at my workplace tomorrow…
Phi at Atl: This is the Eagles year this year, isn’t it? People in Philly without long-term concussion problems AND Brian Dawkins think so. He looked good in the pre-season so there’s no pressure whatsoever on Bradford tonight and the following weeks. As I recall, he and pressure of any sort did not get along in St. Lou. The Eagles finished with the 2nd most sacks in the league last year and a Falcons site thinks that the O-line is made of Arena League drop outs . Balsa Hard! guys. Don’t let the nay-sayers get to you. Oh yeah, Freeman and White are banged up as well. It’s all on you, Julio.
Did they just say that Kyle Shanahan is the DC?
Yeah, I saw it too.
Let’s do Falcons fans’ favorite chant:
Let’s Go Dawgs!
It would have been the Tomahawk Chop, but holy shit are the Braves terrible.
Why does MNF’s fancy new score decal keep crashing?
It’s monitored by the spirit of Cory Lidle?
near Matterception
Is Juan Castillo back?
The Falcons would’ve scored by now.
If a Eagles fan boos, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Ryan and Julio down at the 50 yard. (line)
“PULL BRADFORD!”
-Eagles Fans
Bradford-esque
Drafted Jason Kelce as my tight end. God damn!
Aren’t you proud of yourself, Clever Dan.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/vbi2ao7iplm82tkktbzf.gif
Also happy about doing that.
O/U Number of Plays Bradford Plays: 20
AND THE PAIN BEGINS ANEW
Ok – I just joined DFO Sexy Friday All Stars and had to choose between 49’ers and Vikings. I believe that no matter my choice I’m f’d.
Thanks for playing.
/dick joke
Out already. Fucking C-Hox.
I want a Microwave that beeps “The Final Countdown” for the last 15 seconds of cooking.
Man. The League crew is so fucked now.
Those BW3 ads need more Rafi dick punching someone.
And now we discover Chip’s quixotical offseason moves were meant a portal to allow Ba’al to ascend from Hell to reassert his dominion.
Cthulhu has the Old Ones on standby alert.
#Nextbloodgodup
Oh look, another American Idol reject.
A hairdo sings the national anthem.
WELCOME TO THE TERRORDOME
Holy fuck. Wasn’t kickoff like 20 minutes ago?
It’s 14-3 Philly at the start of the 2nd quarter. What channel are you watching?
Given those suits I expect that Jim McKay will come on and tell us, “they’re all gone”.
Those aren’t jackets, they’re more a performance art piece.
I’m going to Brady’s Hall of Fame induction just so I can throw a rotten tomato at his face.
Will it be deflated?
Tomato is slang for grenade, right?
I like Tom Brady commercials.
They’re a helpful reminder of what not to buy.
That commercial in particular had Tom Brady in 2x speed.
THIS SAM BRADFORD, I CALL HIM A REDSHIRT BECAUSE HE GET KILLED IN THE FIRST GAME TO SHOW HOW DANGEROUS THIS GAME REALLY IS!!!!!
+1 away mission
Why is there a pickup truck on the field, are they doing a Chris Henry reeanctment?
Who’s ready from some FOOBAWL?!
http://oi35.tinypic.com/kb6jjd.jpg
I still can’t figure out what the fuck is up with Gruden’s hair.
It’s so terrible.
http://us1.thefutonshop.com/productImages/Futon_Cover_Mustard_Yellow_Micro_Fiber.jpg
My eyes! My eyes!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ODEAkXybGvk/UxdCqHArdaI/AAAAAAAAuZg/cgCCSXIchsE/s1600/MY+EYES.gif
Why are Tirico and Gruden dressed as bananas?
http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070819174055/uncyclopedia/images/b/be/200px-Dancing_Banana.gif
Those are some ugly-ass jackets.
That was a good Opening Video. Its all downhill from here.
Who do you need to come through tonight and how much do you need to win?
M. Wallace and R. White–18 pts.
Bradford and Parker need to get 35 in one. Julio, tiny Darren, and Coleman can’t get more than 48 in the other. Looks like a push this week.
Demarco to outscore Ryan
I’ve got Bradford getting eviscerated in the third
By TKO or KO?
Is it a TKO if you bleed to death before the cart can take you off the field?
sup suze
Let’s go dirty birds!
WHAT’S GOOD BRUTHA!? WHAT’S REAL GOOD!?
One day late, but I’m here.
hey guys
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/4822118/bear-wave-o.gif
Suzy still considered the patron saint? She is to me.
The times they are a changin’.
/seriously? A Bob Dylan reference?
That was … another website. It’s dead now.
The dude on Secret Meat Business on the Gusto channel is making quail. I could eat some quail right now.
Another bad cover in a football montage? Is this going to be every week this year? Holy shit. It’s so bad.
Tonight will only be moderate drinking, but I will be pantslessly enjoying what I hope turns out to be a defense-free, high-scoring derp fest. Not gonna stay up to watch the second game, sucks to be you Vikings fans and non-West Coast based 49rs fans!
This is the same Cris Carter who was crying on national TV because Adrian Peterson was giving him flashbacks to being abused
GO FUCK YOURSELVES, EAGLES FANS.
They can’t, they already chucked the batteries from their sex aids at people.
What did we ever do?
/santa claus
/jail in stadium
/Irvin injury
/just plain assholes.
I apologize.
This game would be much more enjoyable if Randall Cunningham and Jeff George walked through those doors.
And the passing would be much more accurate
Gentlemen.
Unfortunately, lots more to do before I can take my pants off and start drinking. Starting with this haircut, because I’ve got an interview Thursday, and continuing with moving more shit because lady snow and I need to be completely out of two apartments in the next week.
So, uh, see you guys for the second half? I hope?
If anyone forgot to pick / sign up for the DFO Elimikakke you still have time and four teams to pick from.
http://games.espn.go.com/nfl-eliminator-challenge/2015/en/group?groupID=15907
I picked Detroit. What do I win?
Oh.
Somehow I’m in the lead for both pick’ems (tied with THSU for the spread, but same thing). This moment in time will be the highlight of my fantasy football and gambling careers.
YEAH SHADY! I MEAN MACLIN! I MEAN FOLES! I MEAN DJAX! I MEAN….Ertz? Yeah. YEAH HERTZ!
“Did anyone not come remotely close to earning their pay today? [raises hand]”
Actually, I’m busting my hump today, allowing me to do absolutely FUCK ALL tomorrow. It’s a bold strategy, but, I think it’s going to work, Cotton.