Your Week 2 Early Slate of Games Open Thread

Ten mother-lovin’ games? Better get to work…

Car @ Hou: The Hoyer Era lasted a wee bit shorter than the length of one football game. Congrats coaching staff, no matter who you play at QB going forward you’ll have to answer a boatload of questions about the guy you didn’t start. Kuechly’ (no matter how you spell it, it looks wrong) is out today but the Panther D shouldn’t have much of a problem against the Texans. Where’s Greg Olsen? Nowhere to be found last week. He had only two targets.

SF @ Pit: Hyde went bananas last week and Bush is out (surprise!) so look for more of the same. If Kap spies a gap he should be off and running-the Steelers secondary is iffy. TE Davis may be able to take advantage of the same situation. Brown has a minimum 5 catches and 50 yards for an NFL record 33 consecutive games-the second longest active streak is 4. I thought Wheaton would take advantage of Bryant not being around. That has not been the case.

TB @ NO: Both teams are 0-1 but this division battle will have no ramifications in the future. Winston looked overwhelmed last week just as he did in the preseason. Evans should be ready to go-adjust your lineups accordingly. How ’bout that disconnect between lousy QB play and points expected to be garnered by a quality WR in fantasy? Brees threw 48 times last week. The Wolf Man bulldozed the Saints to 31st in the league in total defense last year. I wonder what he’s got up his sleeve this time around. Colston has had a great run but it looks as though his knees have gone the way of the fax machine.

Det @ Min: As we learned last week, Stafford has been in the league X number of years and still gets rattled by blitz packages. The Lions D is goig to fall from a top 5 unit to somewhere in the middle of the pack.As yeah right said, “give AP the damn ball!” That should solve a number of problems for the offence in general and Bridgewater in particular. Maybe the coaching staff had him on a “carry count”? Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense.

Ari @ Chi: Ellington is out so Johnson (Chris) and Johnson (David) will clean up the running game. I think Andre will come back to a muddled RBBC situation. Palmer picked up where he left off last season. A Warner-like renaissance for him? I’d like to see it. It’s imperative that Allen get pressure on Palmer early. Jeffrey’s hamstring is acting up-if he’s out Patrick Peterson is going to take the next WR out of the game so that leaves Bennett at TE as the only viable threat in the passing game. I don’t like the Bears chances.

NE @ Buff: Rex said that everyone wants them to beat the Pats and he is right. Gronk has scored 9 TD’s in 7 games against the Bills but is generally limited against Ryan defenses. McCoy is questionable so we may see a whole lot of Boobie. Buffalo looked amazing last week and in the preseason as well. Brady doesn’t do well against pressure and this Bills D can deliver on that front.

SD @ CIN: The Chargers D held Megatron to 2 catches-can they do the same to Green? Allen, Green, Floyd, Gordon, Woodhead, Oliver and Gates later on-Rivers has a ton of toys to play with this year. Cincy has no injured players! It doesn’t matter. It is very important for Hill to chew up the clock so that Rivers doesn’t get on the field.

Ten @ Cle: The huge story this week is that Terrance West returns to Cleveland to wreak mediocrity and take a seat on the bench. Mariota, huh? What happened last week? McCown is out and Bowe is questionable, which in this business is known as addition by subtraction.

Atl @ NYG: Ryan shouldn’t have any problems unless he’s terrified by invisible pass rushes. Tevin Coleman looks to be the guy in the Falcons backfield. Say a prayer for the Giants secondary-Julio Jones is in town. Vic Beasley against Ereck Flowers-who ya got? There is a 50-50 chance that the Giants could be 0-3 five days from now. (they meet Wash. on Thursday)

StL @ Was: St. Lou ambushed Seattle last week and should take their opponent out behind the woodshed this week. My buddy Cunningham didn’t embarrass himself last week. The jury is still out on Foles though he didn’t throw a pic last week. Rashad Ross scored 4 TD’s in preseason and is looking for his first in real play. He replaces D-Jax this week.

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Mother Puncher

I keep thinking Dan Fouts was a soft-rock singer from the 80s.

fleshwound_NPG

RIP Buffalo

…again

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Is Blount not playing today?

JustStopDude

The Titans are trying to get their nice new QB murdered on the field…

Old School Zero

MISSED KICK FEVER

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Oh dear Buffalo

bourb0nblues

Niners with the rare 3rd and goal from the 30 yard line.

Senor Weaselo

Get the first down on 4th and 2… illegal formation. The New York Football Giants, everyone!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Elisha, if you can’t even elude Worrilow, just stay in the fucking pocket.

Sill Bimmons

CAR v HOU: The Nobody Cares Bowl Presented By The Jeep Liberty

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

God is teasing me again

JustStopDude

The Bills first Quarter…starts up good…and then you just realize its all disappointment and shame..

http://i.imgur.com/5tZcyUx.webm

Brocky

The saga of jay cutler : people remember the pics, don’t remember crap like this:
comment image?w=627&h=443

Senor Weaselo

Failed truck.

...

That’s why the lack of toughness criticisms were always so dumb. Hate him because he’s a turnover-making, drive-killer, but not because he’s a pussy.

fleshwound_NPG

What ICRM said

Col. Duke LaCross

Considering he spent his first four years in Chicago getting the ever loving shit kicked out of him, I’ve never understood why people question his toughness. I don’t know how he survived Mike Martz!

Smithchez

Going for it on 4th and 5 in the first quarter? Man, if the Texans were a real team I bet their fans would be pissed about that.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Odell Beckham: A God playing with ants

nomonkeyfun

You just want to keep your name on the masthead don’t you.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Senor Weaselo

Odell Beckham, Jr. is good at catching the footballs.

JustStopDude

Taunting?!? You just gave up a TD and your Taunting??!?

Oh Rex Ryan teams…oh so disciplined…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

The Giants and Falcons just need to stop running the ball.

Brocky

Because white people can get away with that shit

King Hippo

cheer for good, but ALWAYS bet on evil.

Smithchez

And just like that (and seemingly every single year), the Bills early season hype dies with a whimper.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Goddammit Buffalo.

bourb0nblues

Dead ball penalty on Bills… FUCK

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Grandfathered: Starring nobody’s favorite 90s actors.

Smithchez

Jaron Brown owners everywhere are ecstatic!

JustStopDude
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ugh, go away Irish punchy-kicky man.

fleshwound_NPG

Next scheduled time I wear Bears gear in public:
2021

Sill Bimmons

Not liking competent Browns much.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Give it a minute.

King Hippo

nothing gold can stay…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Brownies are forever…

Brocky

Jeremy Piven on the Arizona sideline apparently

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

This is the existential pain of rooting for the Rams. They only win when you don’t expect it.

Brocky

Like superbowl 34?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

No, I expected that one. I expected Super Bowl 36, too, but we can’t always be right.

Smithchez

How does everyone feel about the new extra point so far? I for one am liking the increase in 2 point attempts already.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Love it.

fleshwound_NPG

Cardinals almost missed one just now.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I can’t see the Texans/Panthers. Is it as bad as the QB stats say it is?

Brocky

I should have known better than to start the titans defense against johnny money

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Riversderp.

Sharkbait

Still working. But I’ll be drinking at 3:30.

Smithchez

Three man rush on 3rd and goal? Good ol’ Rexy

Sill Bimmons

dammit bills

JustStopDude

WHAT BIZARRO WORLD IS THIS WHERE JOHNNY FOOTBALL IS 4 FOR 4 WITH A TD THROWN?!?

UP IS DOWN AND DOGS ARE FUCKING CATS!!!!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

YOU HAD ONE JOB!

Smithchez

HEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTHHHDOWN

Sharkbait

I see the Bills are employing the “Lets not cover Gronkowski” defense that worked so well for the Steelers

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

NFL Coordinators: Why bother?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Hankerdown!

John Difool

Nothing says your career is over like appearing in a Game of War commercial.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Weird, I didn’t see Blake Bortles in one.

egomann

Am I the only Falcons fan on here?

Old School Zero

It’s possible. WELCOME! TO YOUR DOOOOOM!

nomonkeyfun

I’m a member of the Audubon Society as well

Old School Zero

Donald Butler… did a good? (MAYBE)

Modderific

Cleveland forever!

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

I wonder when we will see Eric Weddle’s manifesto decrying modern technology.

Smithchez

Josh Bellamy? Really Catler?

King Hippo

glad the coin told me not to start Royal or Marquess

fleshwound_NPG