Tony Romo Sings The Hits Of Cat Stevens

Hey, Cowboys fans! Depressed because yet another season has gone down in flames thanks to your brittle quarterback? Wondering what to do with your Sundays to avoid watching Brandon Weeden shit the bed? Well, here at K-Hel Records, we have your answer! Since he can’t sling a ball for a while, Tony Romo has decided to sling a song! (Wait…sing a slong? Sling a slong?) And he’s covering the greatest hits from rock and roll’s greatest artist: Cat Stevens! Just $9.95 (plus tax, shipping, handling, processing, fees, and livery charges) gets you all of Tony’s favorite Cat-tunes:

Wild World

Now that my collarbone’s broke in two

And the team’s playoff hopes are through

(Kinda bummed that we still have Weeden – our offense is bleedin’)

So if our fans abandon us, I don’t care

‘Cause I’ve got a lot of clothes to wear

And lots of guaranteed dollars from the Jer.

Ooh baby baby, I get piled on

The other guys hate me, because of my smile, girl

Ooh baby baby, I get piled on

And the Cowboys are gonna lose for a while, girl.

Peace Train

Now I was pretty happy lately

Thinking about a playoff run

And I believed we could be

Having some Super Bowl fun

But then there was a bad tackle

And my body began to hurt a ton

And I believed the Cowboys

Were just as good as done.

The feeling along my clavicle

I call the Beast Pain

Gotta start taking lots of pills

To feel mellow again.

Morning Has Broken

Clavicle’s broken like a few years ago

Trainer has spoken: “It don’t look good”

Weeden’s my backup; Weeden is doopy

Jerry would frown now, if only he could.

Yes, feel the pain along with Tony! Act now, and we’ll help you and Ben Carson forget all about Cat Stevens’ new anti-American name!