It’s Your Oak/SD, Dal/NYG Slim Pickin’s Thread

So this is how we’re punished for waking up squirrelly to watch lousy (yet entertaining) football played on a different continent? Fine.

Oak @ SD: Raiders are 2-3 with a 2 point loss to the stinking Bears as the only outlier on their sked as far as expected wins and losses. They’ve got the young troika in place (Carr, Cooper and Murray) to make things happen but the odds are against them in this long-dysfunctional franchise. The Chargers are #1 in total yards per game but only 15th in scoring. Lots of empty yards gained between the 20’s? Gordon doesn’t have a TD yet and won’t get one today (he’s out) but that has more to do with Derlaygo playing from behind a fair bit.

Dal @ NYG: Somebody on the internet told me that the last not-Romo to start and win a Cowboys game was Stephen Magee back in ’10. That can’t be right, can it? I’d look it up but I’m too damn busy writing these previews. Do you know how long it takes to look up one or two factlets and rev up the glib machine? Which Giants team will show for role call today? Will it be the shit-kickers that spanked the Slurs? How ’bout the squad that was dis-emboweled by the Eagles? Perhaps the silly squad that squeaked by the lousy 9’ers will shout “Here, Sir!” One never knows-I guess that’s why I watch every week…

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Doktor Zymm

If this game goes into overtime, I’m gonna turn this car right around and NONE of us will get to see the Grand Canyon.

entropy

But can we still go to the fireworks factory?

Doktor Zymm

No, just the haunted ice cream warehouse.

entropy

Fine.

/kicks can, thrusts hands in pockets, pouts until presented with mint chocolate chip waffle cone

King Hippo

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Romonobyl

Not gritty.

entropy

Guys for fuck’s sake enough with el beisbol

King Hippo

He runs pretty good for A GIRL

John Difool

Lucky Whitehead sounds like something Clearasil may have missed.

Why Thank You Eddie

Unlucky Blackhead was my prom date

tundrajim

You say 3 interceptions in the last five pass attempts; I say 3 completions (to the wrong team) in the last five pass attempts.

The Maestro

To-may-to, to-mah-to, really.

Doktor Zymm

I went to the kitchen to get a snack, how many interceptions did I miss?

King Hippo

they haven’t let him throw yet

entropy

Two but one was called back due to the penalty and the other the NFL stepped in and said, “Jesus Christ we can’t just keep letting you do this,”

King Hippo

Is that fucker’s name really “Lucky Whitehead?”

King Hippo

Good time for SD to try and establish the run game.

Why Thank You Eddie

I like how the Giants are trying compete despite Eli.

John Difool

Inframan, ftw

John Difool

Never mind, Jet Jaguar

The Maestro

I knew Romoitis was a terminal illness, but I didn’t realize it was so contagious as well. Matt Cassel is in late stages right now. Very sad.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Pretty sure Cassel had a pre-existing condition.

Why Thank You Eddie

Jerry Jones: Get me Matt Csssel’s Mexican non-union replacement.

entropy

Frank Stronghold?

blackroseMD1

Jacoby Jones looking like he’s gonna murder someone calling that timeout.

tundrajim

Bring back Doopy Pantz!

King Hippo

HERE HERE!

Doktor Zymm

Haha, I can’t even get up to make myself a drink without a Casselception. Real good upgrade on Weedon, Dallas!

The sweet, soothing embrace of Cowboy derp.

Why Thank You Eddie

Romonobyl?

Romonobyl

Sorry, I’m reviewing my collection of fine, vintage bleaches.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Matt Cassell was 11-5 wiht teh Patriots in 2008, ppl forget taht.

John Difool

The Cassel Derptrine

Romonobyl

Whelp…

King Hippo

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE!!!

King Hippo

I needs MOAR D/ST points, Giants. Kill teh CasselVANIA

fleshwound_NPG

WISH GRANTED

blackroseMD1

“Touchdown? What’s a touchdown?” – Chargers fans today

Old School Zero

If they go for an onside kick here it will show that McCoy has at least one testicle.

blackroseMD1

Well, I have to say, that was a much better onside kick than Novak ever put down.

Old School Zero

It’s true. And at least they went for it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Back from painting the deck. Did I miss anything noteworthy in the early or afternoon games?

montythisseemsstrangetome

You missed a spot

Romonobyl

I’d go put on another coat of paint.

John Difool

[*Redacted] s actually came from behind 24-0 and beat the Buca

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I actually saw the end of that game. I was inside taking a soda break and that was the only 5 min of football i have seen since 1

blordinaryfagicmox

Painting the deck was all a dream, you will wake up now and realize you haven’t even started yet.

Brick Meathook

My former home and workplace, many years ago. It no longer exists.
http://i.imgur.com/Ll9DgX5.jpg

Moonbatting Average

James Madison?

Brick Meathook

Yup.

Moonbatting Average

You have large balls, sir. Thanks for your service

Bortleback

It probably got turned into a LOT of razor blades though

Brick Meathook

Chinese cars most likely.

Romonobyl

You left out the minced garlic in the butter.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Send Dominos a potato emoji and see what you get.

Gratliff

This CBS broadcast is nauseating.

Why Thank You Eddie

The new Nissan Maxima will make you black and cool so you buy now!
– Nissan Marketing Director

John Difool

Eli went to his happy place there…. diving down into the ball pit at McDonald’s Playland

Romonobyl

JJ Watt chopping wood in pads…they’ve officially run out of ideas.

Romonobyl

Giants done gots them a kicker.

Why Thank You Eddie

This Shane Vereen. I call him Ben Vereen because of last name. Oh, and chicken wings which are served at Hooters

Gratliff

Solid attempt to tackle him by grazing his shoulder there.

Romonobyl

That’s nothing, you should see what I can do with one hand.

Doktor Zymm

What’s with the Giants and having receivers good enough to catch the stuff Eli tosses?

entropy

It was pretty fucked up, right? And I say that as a fan. Just let the commercials do the talking, Joey. We’re all well aware the World Series is coming up.

entropy

Wow. Way to shoehorn in that Mets reference, Buck.

Bortleback

Has someone swapped Matt Cassel and Rex Grossman?

Romonobyl

Grossman is no stranger to swapping.

Romonobyl

Dammit I think Witten is down to his last spleen.

John Difool

Saying Cassel is a better qb than Weedon is like saying the Titanic was a better ship than the Lusitania.

Doktor Zymm

Weirdly enough I’ve read quite a bit about both ships recently. The Lusitania had a much higher build quality than the Titanic. The same cannot be said for Weeden.

Why Thank You Eddie

Yeah but Weeden-tanic sunk with such more drama.

tundrajim

Nice punt by Cassell.

tundrajim

This is why I should read the comments before commenting.

Atlantic City hookers better watch out tonight for Jerry is on the prowl.

fleshwound_NPG

5 min to go in the 3rd, Laserface has yet to complete a pass in the 2nd half.

Spanky Datass

Nice punt Cassell, dick.

King Hippo

The spirit of Doopy Pantz compels you!!

Romonobyl

Saw that happening the second it left his hands.

Gratliff

Cassel’d.