Greetings, Week Eight is here.  Nearly halfway through the regular season.

Here are this week’s broadcast maps: Week 8, Broadcast Maps

Primetime Games are as follow:

TNF: Dolphins @ New England

SNF: Packers @ Broncos

MNF: Colts @ Panthers

What, a fucking half-way decent slate of primetime games? Watch them all be blowouts.  Donks-Packers is probably the best matchup of the season to date, but I shudder to hear how Collingsworth will slobber over Fetushead even though PeyPey is a massive liability now.

As for Sunday, the ratio is again heavily frontloaded with 8:2 1PM to 4PM games.  Plus, if you really hate yourself, you can watch the Lions and Chiefs slug it out in London in the morning.  The NFL is out to destroy one of our most longstanding international alliances.

CBS early features Bengals-Steelers in most of the country.  Chargers-Ratbirds is limited to their native markets because they both blow this year.   Baltimore can’t even get the entire Chesapeake Bay.   Titans-Texans is also fortunately limited to their core markets.    CBS late features Jets-Raiders.  The Raiders game is again the FEMA quarantine map game with a randomized distribution of broadcasts.

Fox early features Giants-Sants in the Northeast, Jewish Retiree Florida, and most of the Southwest quadrant of the country.  Vikings-Bears is featured in the Northern Midwest.  Bucs-Falcons in the Southeast.  9ers-Rams in Missouri, pars of California and Nevada, and a curious slice of Montana and Idaho.  Cards-Browns is in Arizona (though not all of it, I guess they need to have a 6 more wins than losses before the entire state features them), Ohio parts of Appalachia, and little bit of Pennsylvania.   Fox late features Seahawks-Cowboys in most of the country except that slither around San Francisco.   Yes, a game featuring the Raiders and Jets this decade is the better matchup by far for the late slate.  Quake, friends, for chaos reigns supreme.