Spooky EPL and JV NFL Saturday Preview – Be VERY Afraid!!

I set the DVR for the Oregon/Arizona State 3OT thriller, but screwed up how long past the scheduled end time to go, so I missed the conclusion. Based on how earlier Thursday night was, I am a bit leery as to what the weekend has in store. Nonetheless, here’s your lesser footy preview.

Want to wake up early on All Hallows Eve and laugh at two overrated, media fellated managers? NBCSN has Chelski and Liverpool for you at 8:45! The real action kicks off at 11, with good fixtures on NBCSN (4th place Manure against 7th place Palace) and USA (2nd place Arsenal – on goal differential behind top of the table Man City – against 12th place Swansea).

Swans are much like my side, Everton (free falling into 11th place in advnce of an 8:30 Sunday morning date with fuckin’ Sunderland). Two progressive clubs who expected much more, and are in danger of falling out of the Prem’s middle class entirely. It’s depressing as fuck, let me tell you. Roberto Martinez may be running out of ideas. As the squad returns to full health, he really needs it to catch fire against the soft part of the schedule, though that’s usually when the Blues lose focus. FUCK EVERYTHING.

You would think after such a crap slate last weekend, this JV NFL Saturday would be loaded for bear. And you would be wrong.

Ole Miss at Auburn (Noon, ESPN)

Sigh. I can only works with what I gots, people. Johnny Reb and War Eagle really is as good as it gets. Nebraska/Purdue is a national broadcast in the noon window. Let that fucking sink in for a minute.

Clemson at NC State (3:30, ABC/ESPN2)

Once every year or two, my wolven sort will pull a game out of its ass and either beat or scare the shit out of a team it has no business staying within 20 points of. I don’t believe today will be that game, but that’s a combination of (i) the ferver of the converted (as a prior believer that the Tiggers would “pull a Clemson”); (ii) my general pessimistic nature; and (iii) the fucking goddamned year/two years I’m having. Many neutral observers think the signs are there. State does have some raw materials to work with. But I have no fucking idea how they expect to slow down Clemson’s passing attack. The Wolfpack secondary is a sieve, to put it nicely.

Georgia vs. Florida (3:30, CBS)

They don’t like people calling it The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party anymore, but it’s the only reason to take notice of it. Well, that and the coeds, right Mr. Musberger?

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech (3:30, ESPN)

An actual game to watch when the first two make your eyes bleed. I wonder what the Pokes fans’ paddles do to Sterling Mallory Archer’s wee-wee. /no homo

Miami at Duke (7:00, ESPNU)

This is the world we now live in. Da U’s hoops team goes into Durham and wins all the time, even when they have an NIT squad, and the Devils ultimately cut down the nets in the real tourney. And the footy squad goes into Duke’s sad, 3/4 empty stadium…and they have virtually no shot. This was even funnier when I figured it was where Al Golden was gonna be fired.

Notre Dame at Temple (8:00, ABC)

/wanking motion

Stanford at Washington State (10:30, ESPN)

I’m actually quite intrigued by this matchup. Wazzu has been really interesting teevee viewing so far, and they’ve been winning, to boot. Stanford has recovered nicely after the early bedshitting against Northwestern (that gave make it snow so much false hope). The contrast in styles couldn’t be more vast. Fire up them DVRs!