Jerry Jones Releases Statements

On Greg Hardy:

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“While we did not have access to the photos that became public today, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone domestic violence. We entered into the agreement with Greg fully understanding that there would be scrutiny and criticism. We have given Greg a second chance.  He is a member of our team and someone who is grateful for the opportunity he has been given to move forward with his life and his career.”

On Joseph Randle:

Joseph-Randle-mugshot-jpg

“While we did not have photos of whoever he may or may not have assaulted, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone domestic violence. We entered into the agreement with Joseph fully understanding that there would be scrutiny and criticism. We have given Joseph a second chance.  He is a member of our team and someone who is grateful for the opportunity he has been given to move forward with his life and his career.”

On Jay Ratliff:

jay-ratliff-mugshot

“While we did not have photos of the truck he drunkenly crashed into, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone drunk driving. We entered into the agreement with Jay fully understanding that there would be scrutiny and criticism. We have given Jay a second chance.  He is a member of our team and someone who is grateful for the opportunity he has been given to move forward with his life and his career.”

On Josh Brent:

josh-brent-mugshot

“While we did not have photos of the dead guy who was also apparently on our team, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone drunk driving that results in the grisly death of a teammate and friend. We entered into the agreement with Josh fully understanding that there would be scrutiny and criticism. We have given Josh a second chance.  He is a member of our team and someone who is grateful for the opportunity he has been given to move forward with his life and his career.”

On Dez Bryant:

dezmug

“While we did not have photos of his mother whom he hit and who is also apparently maybe a prostitute according to the Dolphins, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone domestic violence. We entered into the agreement with Dez fully understanding that there would be scrutiny and criticism. We have given Dez a second chance.  He is a member of our team and someone who is grateful for the opportunity he has been given to move forward with his life and his career.”

On Terry Glenn:

tglenn mug

“While we did not have photos of Terry pissing drunkenly behind a restaurant, we were and are aware of the serious nature of this incident.  We as an organization take this very seriously. We do not condone drunk public pissing. Wait…that’s what she did??? This is stupid. We love Terry Glenn, because she can get open at will. And drunk pissing is something I do seven or eight times a day. WHO WANTS TO SEX JERRAH???”

 

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SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam is a mediocre ship captain and an even worse writer. He is allowed to contribute to this website in exchange for money and drugs. Please don't encourage him or make direct eye contact.
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I like how “OH WE GON DRANK” has become our default Category tag.

Sharkbait

It’s what the NFL compels us to do.

blaxabbath

After the way so many women backed Ray Rice, I have to imagine that the intelligent class of broads that make up a sect of Cowboys fans aren’t going to care any more about the Hardy incident now than they did before.

And maybe I’m just about the shit smell this season up here on my 6-2 soapbox, but the Cardinals are a very likable team from top to bottom (less the very top — fuck all NFL owners with a rusty harpoon) so I don’t see how anyone around here can root for the Cowboys.

ballsofsteelandfury

You live in Phoenix. Or at least the Phoenix area. You should know that there a ton of insufferable rich assholes around you that want to appropriate any semblance of class and prestige for themselves by attaching themselves to “star” franchises.

Horatio Cornblower

“so I don’t see how anyone around here can root for the Cowboys.”

Quite honestly if you’re going to start going through each team’s roster and deciding who to root for based on which team doesn’t employ sociopathic assholes who are prone to violence and substance abuse issues then you probably shouldn’t be watching football.

And even more honestly while I identify as a Cowboys fan around here because it’s who I grew up rooting for and because it gives you guys something to make fun of me for besides my residence in various lockers, the fact is I really don’t give much of a shit one way or the other about how they do on the field.

There’s probably a longer post in this comment and maybe I’ll write that someday but if it weren’t for joking around with you idiots every day I suspect I’d have long since given up on football. It’s violent game played by artificially bulked up men who have been trained, and rewarded, from an early age to excel at violence. They’re encouraged and covered up for, if they’re good, and cut loose like a hangnail the second they’re not useful anymore. They’re poorly educated and have probably been hit in the head more times than a nail by the time they finish high school.

We know all of this and more. We still watch football. We’re part of the problem.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get off this soapbox and watch LSU and Alabama play football, because there’s just something about this goddamn game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, all you goofballs are the only reason I still watch. I’m dead serious about that. If I didn’t have some fun people to make fun of the NFL with, I would be spending my time surfing on weekend, going to brunch with females, and living a normal life.

/shudders

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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blaxabbath

You make an excellent point and IF WE HAD AN EDIT BUTTON I’d like to rephrase. I agree with you whole-heartedly about the overall disgustingness of the NFL/refuge in DFO and was referring to (1) “around here” as the Phoenix area (as in, all things being equal, you have a local team that isn’t making national headlines for domestic violence so why go looking for Jerruh’s ‘Boys?; (2) the people who claim to care about social causes band subscribe to the internet mob mentality 99% of the time but, come the Hardy situation, are quiet because their fandom trumps their (insincere) declarations about improving things. For your average person — hey, if Hardy is too bad of a guy to play football, is he good enough to be working in the cubicle next to you? He’s not in jail so who am I to say how he makes his living?

That said, below is a link to my GF’s white trash/estranged half-sisters Cowboys tattoo. A person who will repost this about The Good Book and that about Media Coverage for Cops, Not Criminals! She will be completely silent on the Greg Hardy situation. I just feel like sharing it because she’s a c-word.

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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t click on that link and I desperately want to.

King Hippo

It’s cause you are run by an NC State graduate ,, ppl forget that.